Young mixed couple looking at each other

Ask Rene:
How Do I Stop This Boy From
Breaking My Daughter’s Heart?

 

Hi Rene:

My daughter’s 18-year-old boyfriend keeps cheating. I don’t know how to help her to stop caring about him. He has had sex with 3 others, ages 15 to 17 just in the past month. He uses sweet talk, shall I say, and the 15-year-old was a virgin and feels horrible, so she told my daughter. She has lost weight and is crying but won’t tell me the details.

I can’t imagine what is being said to her to keep her trying to forgive him. She is a beautiful, white girl and he is an 18-year-old black scum. He has caused so much pain to these girls and is not going to stop.

I can’t just let this happen. She seems to be in denial or it’s something else.

What am I to do? I’m considering a restraining order as one girls’ parents are discussing statutory rape. He was charged years ago for this and had to change schools.

When I met him I asked about his father. He shared his father had a pregnant girl friend when his mom was pregnant with him and he didn’t stay with either of them.

Is this a generic flaw? He can’t crush my girl anymore.

Confused in Connecticut

 

Hi Confused:

I can hear the hurt and frustration in your letter and there’s a part of me that sympathizes with you. I think this young man is bad news, especially in light of the fact that he’s run afoul of the law before. But I also hear a whole lot more, which I believe, undermines your case to your daughter.

Having said that, here’s what I would do if I were you.

1. CHECK OUT LEGAL RECOURSE

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I have to preface this by saying I'm not a lawyer. However, it sounds like there is potential for legal action with regard to at least one of the other girls but I'm not so sure with your daughter. Statutory rape is one thing; convincing a judge that your daughter needs a restraining order against her boyfriend might be a tougher sell. Again, I'm not a lawyer so, on this matter, talk to someone who is.