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Tales From A Twin Mom: 4 Things That May Never Be Perfect Again

twin-parenting-confessions

Tales From A Twin Mom: 4 Things That
May Never Be Perfect Again

I had a conversation with a fellow mother of twins recently, and after talking a lot of fluff, I was left wondering if something was wrong with me! Did she have a complete handle on this raising twins thing? It seemed like she had it all together. Don’t get me wrong, I nodded to most of her comments, but deep down inside I wanted to scream! I write articles on parenting twins and receive excellent feedback on my tips, but I am nowhere near being perfect. I am, and will always be a Good Enough Mother. I will be good enough for my children, mostly because they have no choice (insert evil laugh here), and good enough for my husband because we have a pact.

My tips are just like any other person’s tips. They either work, or they don’t; and when they don’t, I usually go back to the drawing board. There is no perfect parenting book. Every child (and every parent) is different. You do what you can, and pray all goes well. I am a very down to earth person, and I’m pretty honest when it comes to answering multiple parenting questions. What should you expect when raising twins?

I’m glad you asked. Here are 4 things that may never be perfect again.

1 of 4  

1. THERE IS NO SUCH
THING AS A BREAK
…EVER

twin-parenting-bathroom-breaks 

Yes, you can pay a babysitter to take care of the kids for a while but your mind will always go back to them.

Are they hitting their milestones?

Am I teaching them enough?

Are they destroying their playroom for me to clean later (AGAIN), while their babysitter sits and watches TV?

How much TV should they watch (if any)?

Should I be getting only organic food?

Do they hear my sigh of relief when my husband gets home?

These are just some of the questions that come to mind. Some days you will pat yourself on the back because you did it all, and some days the only goal that you will achieve will be brushing your teeth. Don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all been there. No one is going to tell you, but we all have! Don’t get me started on the bathroom breaks! I have an audience every time I need to go! When they can’t talk yet, they sit and stare at you. Some even laugh. I kid you not. The wonderful part is when they start talking and ask you all these weird questions – many of which you don’t have the answers for.

Get used to it. It will not last forever and you will soon find yourself wondering where the time went. You’ll be wishing you could see those little fingers under the door again.

Read more: Our Story Begins: Sometimes Doing Nothing is Good Enough

2. SLEEPING WILL NEVER
BE THE SAME

twin-parenting-sleeping-twins

My twins slept through the night at 6-weeks old. I remember doing the happy dance the next morning and posting it all over social media. I was so proud of myself! What was wrong with all these parents that couldn’t get their babies to sleep for long stretches? That following night they woke up at separate hours, and I think I got about 45 total minutes of sleep. Later that week, one got congested, the following week it was the other, and then the older siblings went through it. Get the drift here? Something will always go wrong; and although some babies sleep through the night at a very early age, truth be told this does not happen often. Life happens and we need to get used to it. Cherish those days that they do sleep long stretches, but for heaven’s sake don’t celebrate to the point that you jinx it.

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Easy Ways To Better Sleep

BREASTFEEDING IS NOT
THAT GREAT SOMETIMES

twin-parenting-not-breasfeeding

Every situation is different. What works for one family may not work for another. If you breastfed, I applaud you. If you didn’t (or couldn’t), and your children are formula fed, I applaud you too. The basic goal is to feed the children. I cannot stand those mothers that sit around and judge others for their methods. I have actually come in contact with many mothers that thought something was wrong with their parenting simply because they couldn’t produce enough milk! What do I answer when they ask how to come to terms with it? I usually point at their babies and ask “Are they fed, happy and dry? Good.” The details are not necessary. Anyone that judges you for not breastfeeding should go back to their perfect little lives and leave you alone. You have enough to worry about.

Read more: Top Talker: Should Breastfeeding Be The Law?

4. THERE WILL BE THINGS
THAT ARE UNSPEAKABLE,
UNTIL YOU SPEAK 


twin-parenting-article-painting

One time during a business call with another mother of twins, we got to talking about our children and I suddenly (and not so jokingly) asked, “Did yours play with their poop too?” After a very awkward pause, this mom confessed that she was mortified by the whole thing but YES – one twin did that for a while. Yup, I thought so. You see, we’re not different. Our kids will always do things that we vow never to mention to anyone. It’s part of being a parent, but it’s so relieving when you hear that other parents have actually gone through the same thing!

Read more: Single Mom Slice of Life: Jello Scares The Hell Out Of Me.. And Other Things I’ve Learned In This Life

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So tell me, what would you add to this list? (This is my way of seeking validation and asking you to comment so I don’t go the rest of the day thinking I’m the odd ball…)

 

twin-parenting-julixa-newman

Julixa Newman, is a published writer/author, and the president of Stuff4Multiples.com. Born in Puerto Rico and raised in New York City, Julixa founded Stuff 4 Multiples in 2009, shortly after giving birth to twin girls. Her articles about parenting multiples are featured on several parenting websites, as well as in such magazines as Twins and Sixty Second Parent. She is also an entrepreneur who has designed several products geared at making parenting twins easier, including the TwinTrexx twin baby carrier. Her most recent endeavor is Forest Friends: Book About Me, which is the first baby book for LGBT families.

 

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22 Comments

  1. Lisa Mobley

    February 6, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    Yes, yes, yes, and yes!!! I prematurely did the happy dance when one of them slept 6hrs in a row one night, my 6YO girls will have nothing to do with me for 1-2 hrs but as soon as I enter the bathroom…., breast fed or bottle fed? who cares as long as you FEED them! And yes I had one who played with her poop – for 2 YEARS.

  2. Michelle

    February 6, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    I agree with all four! Mine twin boys are almost 2 and one of the biggest things I worry about is what I feed them. Sometimes I have to just realize, I can’t walk in the door and magically have dinner ready in 10 minutes (although I keep trying…and healthy meals at that, right?!). So what’s wrong with PB&J for dinner, as long as they’re eating!

  3. Annie Stanco

    February 8, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    Mine threw their poop back and forth between pack and plays the other day while I showered!!! I had to laugh or I might have cried!

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