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Monday Morning Motivation: 3 Things To Learn From Playing The Hand You’re Dealt!

Cards and casino chips. Shallow depth of field for natural view

 Monday Morning Motivation:
3 Things To Learn From
Playing The Hand You’re Dealt!

Happy Monday everyone! As you read this, I am on the road somewhere between San Juan and Rincon, Puerto Rico. We’re filming a couple of episodes of Sweet Retreats here and while we are working, we are working in a place where there is sun and sand, a nice change from the snow.

(Check out my Instagram to see what we’ve been dealing with at home in New York). Needless to say, I’m happy to be out of all that, if only for a couple of days. 

Before I left, I was talking with a friend, someone I worked with many years ago. She, like so many of us, has struggled to find her footing in this new economy, having a few successes here and there.

She mentioned to me that she had hoped her career would have gone another way, ultimately ending on her terms.

Don’t we all?

I told her I felt the same way; I mean don’t get me wrong, I love working on Sweet Retreats and Exhale. I don’t necessarily love being away from my family so long. I’m not in love with sprinting through airports, eating many meals alone in a hotel room or just the pace of my life, in general. I find it frustrating to try to cobble together a salary from multiple sources (multiple revenue streams means multiple bosses; who knew?!) and working all these jobs and keeping the site up, running and profitable takes its toll on me.

Like my friend, I sometimes wish things were different.

But they aren’t so I’m doing the next best thing; I’m playing the hand I’ve been dealt.  Here are 3 things I’ve learned in the process:

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Chalk drawing - Attitude is everything

I’d love to say I came out of the womb this way; sadly I did not. But I think being around and married to Buff Parham has taught me this. There are things in life that are going to happen to us that we have no control over, like the lady who emailed me and told me about her cancer diagnosis. The treatment caused her hair to fall out. But instead of mourning the hair a little bit at a time, she decided to take she shears and cut it all off. In other words, she couldn’t control the fact that she had cancer or that the treatment was causing her hair to fall out, but by golly if she was going to lose it, it was going to be, when, where and how she decided. It was a very empowering decision.

Yes, I got fired from my big TV gig; I had no control over that. But after some initial mourning, I found my footing and my purpose. This website/brand were the only things I could control. Feeling sorry for myself seemed, and was, futile. Pouring my efforts into the little bit of life I could control made me feel like I had, at least partial, control.

Read more: What’s Your Default Position?



Oh.. and THIS! When I look back at the last, almost decade of my life, I would say it’s almost been like a crash course in creativity. It’s stunning and surprising what you can do when you feel the safety net is gone. In my case, the regular paycheck went away and I had to hustle, with a capital H. There have been high points, and some really, REALLY low ones too. But I learned something valuable in each and every one of those instances; learning that would not have taken place had I not been forced to struggle a little bit.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: Do You Have The Guts To Be Fearless?


 Old wooden frame with written text on an old wall - Keep going

I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But I do know this. It’s going to be okay. Why? Because I have faith in myself and my ability. I have been through some tough stuff; job loss, illness, disappointment. And you know what? I’m still here. I’m still standing. Do I wish I didn’t have to work QUITE so hard? Yeah. But what’s the alternative, give up? Or as my friend Mike Fink asked, “What are you gonna do? Go knit a sweater?!”

He was right.. we’re going to work until they put us in the ground in a pine box. Accepting that somehow makes the work less, I don’t know, somehow less of a struggle. It does for me anyway.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: Keep Walking! It’s a Journey, Not A Destination..


The secret trick to this (again, IMHO) is learning how to put to put the kibosh on fear. Fear us awful, ugly and so so many times not real yet it keeps us rooted, grounded, unable to take chance.

I have no idea if I’m going to have to work this hard forever but I’m guessing the answer is yes.

And that’s okay. Well, most of the time.

What about you? How do you play the hand you’re dealt?

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