My Boyfriend Always Sides With His Mother Over Me!
I am 31-years-old and my boyfriend is 26. We’ve been dating for 2 1/2 years and lived together for 1 1/2, 6 months of which was with his parents while we saved up money for our own place. Although I love his mother very much, while living with her she would make certain remarks that showed her disapproval of our relationship, things like “people should marry their own” (my boyfriend and I are of different races). These remarks were only said to me. To her son she speaks of how nice I am and how much she likes me, but that is false. What’s troubling to me is that she somehow has managed to manipulate his other family members, and now they are different with me.
Her words don’t bother me as much as how much my boyfriend is quick to defend her and take her word, but never mine. He says the problem is between his mother and me and he doesn’t want to be a part of it. Because of constant fighting and arguments, we decided to take time off. It happened to be a time when I was moving out of state to go to school. So now we are living in different states, which makes it harder to work things out.
I love him so much, but it hurts that he would never believe me. I feel him more and more distant every time we speak. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Not sure and hurting.
Dear Not Sure:
Okay let me start this by saying you are doing the right thing. You need time away from your boyfriend to clear your head. While you are away I want you to listen to what your heart is telling you too. You’re a smart cookie; I can tell you’re listening already. Here’s how I see it.