*Are you happy at the moment?
Absolutely yes! I’ve learned to ride the waves that come with any given day; when I find myself unhappy, I breathe and express it in whatever way feels right for the situation. It helps to clear out any stuck emotions.
*If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?
Oh darling, you’re so amazing! You are stronger than you imagine. Enjoy every second of life! Don’t worry about feeling like you won’t have a colorful life of stories to tell because you have so much coming your way that you can just release that worry right now; seriously, don’t waste another second on it. I would also tell her to go ahead and ask that boy out. Because later you’ll look back and realize it would have been fun to act on those impulses more often (plus, he was definitely interested!).
*What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?
This year I had my third miscarriage after I got unexpectedly pregnant. The pregnancy gave me the surprise that I always wanted when I was receiving infertility procedures; I never ever expected I’d get to experience the surprise of pregnancy. I was quite certain I understood what God had in store. Then I miscarried on Mother’s day, at 7 weeks pregnant. Since I had been through 9 years already of ups and downs trying to conceive (including giving birth to my perfect son who is now 4), the miscarriage was not as heartbreaking as it could have been; but it still left me in awe of the uncertainty of our life paths. We have absolutely no way of knowing what is coming and as soon as we feel certain, that’s when the wind will shift. But somehow, this time, I felt at ease and natural about the whole thing. It was a natural pregnancy and a natural miscarriage and I learned to let it all go. The most important lesson has been a very personal lesson about surrender. I felt a shift when I experienced my miscarriage and I surrendered it all over to God & have been able to joyfully move on from the burden of trying so hard to hold space for the family that I think I’m supposed to have.
*What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?
I want to grow my passion and root it into the business it is becoming. I already have given birth to my dream work; now I want to nurture it and see it grow into a platform where I can serve those who can benefit from my teaching, my message, my story and my guidance.
My personal struggles have forced me to get quieter and quieter over the years in order to hear the whispers of guidance that are available to me from my inner knowing and from Spirit. And now, in the next 12 months, I want to continue to listen, tune in and then broadcast my messages and I want to reach a wider audience who are ready to tune in to their own inner guide. Dreams are incredibly personal and I am privileged to work with clients who let me into their inner world.
*What’s your secret to happiness?
My secret to happiness is self reflection. I believe that we project everything outward but the real way to shift anything in our lives is to go inward. All of our aches, pains, discomforts, negativity and blockages can be found and fixed if we reflect on our part in life, the role we play, the reasons we do what we do and the unconscious beliefs or patterns that have steered us to any given situation. I look to my dreams, but ultimately I look to my subconscious higher self for guidance. I seek my own inner counsel in order to maintain happiness and balance and she never fails to give me the unfiltered, honest truth.
*What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?
My husband is my ritual. Just being around him grounds me totally. Where I am whimsical, spiritual and dramatic, he is logical, practical and quiet. We complement each other beautifully. When I feel too anxious, excited or emotionally overwhelmed (be it joyful or sad), he is always calm and peaceful. I remember a few years ago, when I was at the bottom of my journey with infertility and I felt torn and angry, my husband was constant and steady. He allowed me to express all of my fears to him and then would just say, “It’s ok because we are ok. And if we have children or not, we will still be here and ok.” He’s just an anchor in the middle of my whirlwinds. And so, my practice is to remain in physical contact with him at least once each day. I just have to hold his hand to feel his steady rhythmic breath and I am relaxed and pulled into the present moment.
*What’s your biggest regret?
I regret sticking my head in the sand for 5 years when I was trying to conceive our son. My path didn’t have to be so difficult; but then again I learned so much more about myself because I went so deep inside to hide from the truth. I regret that it took five years for me to come around to asking for help and opening up about infertility. Infertility makes one feel desperately alone, even inside her own home. I was separated from everyone emotionally and I regret not letting at least one person into my world of pain that I was experiencing at the time. As soon as I began to open up to my family, friends and support group, I began to heal.
*What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?
Spirituality. My son is 4 years old and I have already imparted in him an appreciation for God. When I accepted that I was not going to get pregnant without some assistance, I had already been trying to conceive for 5 years. By that time, I had lost my faith in God and was alone and in a deep, but hidden, depression. As I went deep inside myself, I discovered my dream world, and came back to reality with a new found appreciation for faith and spirituality. I learned to see God inside my own dream world first; I learned that things we encounter in our dreams are sacred symbols that represent our own life, personality and perspective. I had faith in my dreams to help me navigate my depression; and from there, I found faith in my waking life and found my way back to a God that made sense to me. Spirituality gave me hope and allowed me to heal. Giving my son an education in spirituality is the most important lesson I can teach him because it will give him a place to find hope when he loses sight of it along his life path.
*What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?
I have changed many bad habits already that I am not sure I still have any that I wish to change. My life now consists of a steady diet of self-reflection. So, when I notice a behavior that doesn’t serve me, I don’t try to change it. I just look at it and examine it from all angles and let it be in my awareness. Usually, that’s enough for me because I learn to love it for what it teaches me or what it symbolizes.
*Aside from motherhood/fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?
I am most proud of my dream work. I have nurtured my passion (examining and translating dreams into everyday wisdom for people) and cultivated a successful home-based practice. Developing my craft has given me opportunities I never would have imagined; for instance, I’m currently a consultant for a movie script! It is my gift to the world and I am so proud of myself for the hard work and personal study time I have invested to become the expert that I am. My website, www.wisdomofdreams.com, is my pride, my joy, and my livelihood.
*When were you happiest?
Sounds cheesy, but I am happiest in this moment. So many things are going right for me right now and everything in my life has led to this moment. I can look backwards and see joy and purpose in all of my trials and tribulations thus far. And when I look ahead, I am optimistic about my ability to see joy and purpose in whatever is coming.
*What ten words best describe you?
Optimistic, joyful, metaphysical, empathic, smart, intuitive, clever, creative, strong, & stubborn
Pamela Muller is a dream coach, interpreter and creative visionary. She founded the Wisdom of Dreams website in 2007 and is a highly rated dream expert on JustAnswer.com. Pamela teaches workshops, hosts dream groups and coaches individual clients to use their dreams as an inner guidance system for balanced living. Her personal journey as an empath, an introvert and an infertility survivor led her to go deep into her inner world and learn the subconscious language of dreams. Now, she shares her knowledge with clients and social media followers to help them understand the symbolic language of their dreams. Follow Wisdom of Dreams on Facebook and on Twitter at @wisdomofdreams.