Ask Rene: My Daughter Is
Planning To Have Sex!
First, a little back-story. My daughter is a 16-year-old sophomore. She goes to a private school a half-hour away. I work and so does my husband and can’t drive her so we have a family friend’s son bring her. He’s 17 and a junior. The only reason we need him is because we can’t afford both a car and gas for her and her summer job doesn’t pay enough to do any of this herself.
I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I heard from a friend of mine that her son called my daughter a whore, so I went through her phone. I found through her texts that she has had oral sex with at least two guys and one of them is the guy who drives her to school. And although she’s a virgin she told her friend that she was planning on having sex with him. I knew they were very close, but I had no clue. I don’t know what to do. I’ve had the sex talk and everything. She’s even on birth control for PMS stuff. I asked her about it (without telling her I went through her phone) and she told me that even if she was she would be safe and that it was her decision and she would only do it if she knew she was ready and had been dating the guys for a while. That makes me wonder if she’s been dating the guy that carpools her. I asked my husband what to do and he said that although he wasn’t happy with her decision it was her choice and that as long as she was being safe we should leave her alone because it wasn’t like her grades were slipping or anything. I just don’t know what to do. I’m going crazy.
Hi Concerned Mom:
Wow this is a tough one. I think first of all you have to know that you going crazy will probably have little to no effect on your daughter’s actions. But in the interest of preserving your sanity there are a couple of things you can do right now.