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Ask Rene: My Friend Is Dating A Drug Dealer! Should I Say Anything?

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Ask Rene: My Friend Is Dating A Drug Dealer! Should I Say Anything?

My best friend “Kerri” is dating a man I don’t like. We’re both adults (24) and she can date anyone she wants to, but this guy is a drug dealer and I’ve heard that he also breaks into houses. She is aware of what he does, but she likes the financial rewards for herself and her daughter. I’m trying not to judge Kerri about this. I have to admit that I look at her differently now. I don’t really want to hang out, especially if he’s around, because I don’t want to get caught up in any trouble she could get in. I was in legal trouble as a teenager and I have no interest in going back. I’m a single mother of one son and my priority is raising him. Kerri and I have been friends since junior high school. I would hate to cut her out of my life. I will do it if I need to. Should I?

Um… SAY WHAT?

Wow.. there are so many red flags on this one, I’m not exactly sure where to start. Well let’s look at the facts as laid out by you. “Kerri” is your friend. She is an adult. She has a daughter and is dating a ne’er do well.  Now, what do you do or say, if anything? Here’s what I would do if I were you.

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MAKE SURE YOU
HAVE ALL THE FACTS

getthefacts

Maybe it’s the journalist is me; maybe it’s just the part of me that wants to give most people a fair shake, but I truly don’t think you can make a decision on this until you have all the PROPER information. By that I don’t mean rumor and hearsay; I mean facts. Find out if ” and I’ve heard that he also breaks into houses.”  is true but even if it’s not, the fact that he’s a convicted drug dealer who still deals would be reason enough to make some hard decisions.

Read more: Ask Rene: My Mother In Law Is A Monster!

 seriousgirl

TALK TO YOUR FRIEND

The thing that worries me most is that your friend is hanging out with this loser of a guy with (what appears to be) little regard for her daughter. While you are both adults and you can’t tell her about the decisions she should make for herself, perhaps you could open her eyes about how this will impact her daughter. The fact that she enjoys the spoils of her boyfriend’s ill-gotten gains makes me wonder about the strength of her own moral code. What a horrid example for her kid.

Read more: Our Story Begins: Of Tampons And Trust

keepaway

DISTANCE YOURSELF

Yep. I went there. You are absolutely right in wanting to steer clear. You admit you had trouble as a teen and have worked hard to keep clean. That’s admirable; you don’t need any unsavory infulences detracting your journey and your priorities, which seem to be good and clear. I don’t think you have to cut Kerri out of your life, but it feels like this is a perfect time to put a little space and distance between the two of you. And I would NOT hang around her home anytime the boyfriend is there.

Read more: Ask Rene: Our Friends Gave Up Tobacco For THIS! What Do We Tell Our Kids?

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************Kerri She may ask you at some point, why you’re being distant; I think it’s perfectly fine to let her know that your priorities are not inline with hers and you’d rather just keep your distance.

Good luck, mommy!

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What would you tell her to do?

 

 

 

 

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Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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