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Ask Rene:
My Husband Did WHAT? 

My husband unfriended me on Facebook! We’ve been friends for as long as I’ve had an account, which is about two years. I realized we weren’t friends anymore when I noticed that I wasn’t seeing any of his status updates. When I asked him why he unfriended me, he acted like he didn’t know we weren’t friends anymore. After I pressed him, he was vague saying he didn’t want to confuse our marriage with his online life. What does that even mean? I don’t believe him because he lied at first. To say I’m feeling insecure right now is an understatement. I feel like he’s trying to hide something from me, but I have no idea what. This is totally out of the blue. I thought our relationship was solid. Now, I’m not so sure.

Signed: Hurt in Hartford

Dear HiH:

Wow.. I’m not even sure where to start with this one.  I read your letter and thought about my own situation; married to the same guy for nearly two decades, I’m not sure what I would do if Buff Parham unfriended me on Facebook, even though it took me some time to convince him to get on it in the first place. It could be innocent.. or much more sinister (I hate to even use that word) but here’s what I would do if I were you.

TAKE A BREATH

breathfreshair

This is easy for me to say, yet impossible for me to do. But please do as I say, not as I do. Don’t do anything rash. Take a breath, let things calm down for a minute, and try to think about why he would have done what he did. Maybe there’s a plausible explanation. There  might not be, you understand but I do what you to at least consider the possibility

 

Read more: Ask Rene: Is Chivalry Alive And If So WHERE?

TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND

talkingcouple

UGH.. this is the part of your question that does not sit right with me. You spoke to him once; he claims he unfriended you by accident. But when you pressed him further, he gave you a different story. There’s a name for that…. deception. My first reaction is the same as yours; when pressed, he was vague and put forth a mealy-mouthed answer. Not.Good. You’ve spoken to him once about it; you can try again but I’m not sure the story will change much, or that you will feel better upon hearing it.

Read more: Ask Rene: How Can I Halt The Hate?

TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE

Image of two teenage girls eating cakes and talking in cafe

You don’t need me to tell you this, but your husband lied (or misled) you once; what does your heart tell you? Do you think he’ll tell you the truth if pressed? If you have any concerns about this, it might be time to bring in a 3rd party; heck it might be time for that anyway. An impartial party might be able to help you decipher if there’s anything there and what you need to do about it.

Read more: The GEM Debate: Should Society Start Limiting This In Families?

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I hope this helps a bit but the bottom line is, you’re going to have to trust your gut. If you feel like something might be amiss, even if it’s not, you’re going to have to do something about it. What that is is entirely up to you.

Good luck, mommy!

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