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Ask Rene: My Soon-To-Be-Ex Is IRRATIONAL!

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Ask Rene:
My Soon-To-Be-Ex Is IRRATIONAL!

Ask Rene:

I’m going through a painful divorce. Well, it’s not really painful for me because I’ve wanted this divorce for years, but stayed married for the sake of our three children. We’ve been married for 15 years, but I’ve had enough of my husband’s emotional abuse and cheating.

My husband thinks that, since I’m the one who wants the divorce, I should be the one to move out of the house. My children are going to live with me. If I have to move, I won’t be able to afford to stay in the same city and the kids will have to go to new schools.

It’s ridiculous for my husband to stay in this four-bedroom house by himself while we squeeze into a small apartment. The house is in his name only. Beyond taking legal steps, what can I do to convince him not to uproot his children because he’s mad at me?

Signed:

Sad, Soon To Be Divorcee

 

Dear Soon to be:

I hate to hear about anyone getting a divorce but I also know that in some situations, there really just isn’t any other option. This sounds like one of those cases. Before I tell you what I would do, I must preface this by saying I am not a lawyer (or a psychologist); just a mom with common sense. So with that disclaimer out of the way, here’s what I would do if I were you.

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UNDERSTAND THAT
YOUR HUSBAND IS ANGRY

An image of an angry man with a beard

I mean really, really angry. He’s so angry that he’s lost the capacity for rational thought because, if he were thinking logically, he would know that uprooting your kids to a new home and new school is difficult enough; doing it in the midst of divorce just feels cruel. He’s upset, probably feels rejected, even though from the sounds of it, he may have brought this upon himself.

Read More: Ask Rene: How Could He Do This To Me?

 SEEK LEGAL COUNSEL

Legal Advice Computer Key In Blue Showing Lawyer Guidance

Here’s the really unsavory part of your situation. I’m not a lawyer (see above) but where you may have significant trouble is the fact that his name only, is on the deed to the house. If he let’s you and the kids stay, it would be because he’s being magnanimous and that’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. I would start asking around to see if you can find an attorney or mediator who will take your case at a reduced rate or pro-bono. You need solid, legal advice STAT!

Read More: Ask Rene: My Friends Are Having Babies And They’re So Obnoxious! (Video)

DON’T BADMOUTH YOUR
HUSBAND TO THE KIDS

dadteenager

It’s really hard to be nice to someone when they’re crapping all over you. That includes a soon to be ex. But whatever you do, do NOT badmouth him to the kids. He may have turned into a world-class butthead but he is still their father. So bite your tongue. You don’t have to give glowing endorsements; just don’t throw flames.

Read More: Take The Poll: Lying In A Relationship; Justified Or Just Don’t

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Honestly, the most frustrating part about divorce that involves children is that the people who are supposed to be acting in their best interests, are not because they’re too busy acting like children themselves. If you do try to reason with your soon-to-be ex one more time, you can ask him to think about protecting the kids now and preserving his relationship with them in the future by finding some way to deal with his anger.

Good luck to you!

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Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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