Do I Have To Cut Ties With My
I had a six-year relationship with a guy named Kyle. It was a “first love” type relationship and like many first loves, we just didn’t work out. However, we talk like friends every once in awhile and I keep in close touch with his family. His family has known me eight years, since I was barely 14. I’m like the daughter they never had; I adore them and we are like best friends as well as a family. Add to that I don’t have the greatest home life and I think that has drawn me closer to Kyle’s family. They have remained my safety net and support system for years.
But here is my problem; I am now in a two-year-relationship and we’ve have talked about getting engaged. My current boyfriend, Christian, knows about Kyle’s family and that I’m stil close to them. However, since we have become more serious, he now hates the fact that they’re still a part of my life. He says that it hurts him and feels like Kyle’s family is a crutch, keeping me from forming a relationship with his family and my own.
I don’t want to hurt Christian, and I don’t want to lose him but I find it terrifying and heart breaking to picture my life with out my ex- boyfriend’s family. I’m not entirely sure what to do because I don’t fully understand my own emotions. I don’t understand why I deny the problem, I don’t know why I continue to do something that hurts the man I love, and why I have a love for my ex- boyfriend’s family in the first place. Am I just scared and dependent on this family or do I really have a genuine love?
Split in two
Thanks for writing in. I read your letter at least three times, finding something new, and frankly, alarming each time. Given what you’ve written here, I’m not sure your current relationship, no matter how much Christian says he loves you, is on solid ground. So here’s how I see it and what I would do if I were you.