The GEM Debate:
Is THIS When Helicopter Parents Should Fly Off?
Today’s parent du jour is a mom who has decided that she is going to help facilitate her son’s transition into manhood. Yeah.
An anonymous poster on The Stir admitted that her son asked her to help him secure a hotel room to lose his virginity. The son is too young to do rent the room himself (he’s 19), but would fund the event with the money he makes. Of course, the mom is all for it. She doesn’t believe that sex (before marriage) is a sin and is pretty proud that the son and his girlfriend of five years have waited this long to take this step into adulthood (my words, not theirs).
I say this is a no-no not because you shouldn’t be this close to your parents (I wasn’t). I feel losing your virginity is a rite of passage, but so is sneaking around to get the deed done. I mean, I understand being an adult at 19 and having waited for so long that you don’t want to have to get your friend to pay for a motel while you wait slumped in the car; romance most certainly is not dead. But I also think that involving my parents in said act is icky, and if I have to have their help to get the room I might not be mature enough to do the deed. (No uncles, cool aunts? Facebook friends? School mates?)
Yes, some would argue that it takes a great sense of maturity to have this conversation with your parent(s). It does, but there’s also something to be said about building healthy sexual boundaries as you age. I don’t know when your parents should stop helping you with things, but I have to say beyond “take this pill“, “wear this prophylactic“, “see that doctor“, and, “no, you are too young to have sex – my house my rules”, that parents should not be a part of this phase of the sexual journey. Of course, now would be the time for the STD talk since it is always a prudent, life-saving reminder.
So what do you say? Is this the ultimate in not cutting the apron strings? Would you want your child to ask you this or would it keep you awake at night (and not at a hotel either)?
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