Guest Posting:
All The World’s A Stage (Manager)
(Note from Rene: I worked with Kim Miller for years back when I had that big gig at CBS. A consumate professional, we had some great times traveling the country and experiencing assignments ranging from the ramp up of the Gulf War to air shows in Ohio).
Hello, I’m Kimberly and it’s been about three years since I’ve had steady employment. When I did have a full-time gig it was, for many years, as a television stage manager, where I worked with Rene and many others.
But like I said, that’s been a while so I’m starting to think of other things I can do to make a living, you know, try out some different options.
Hmm..
How about a dentist? Come on in and get comfortable in the chair while I figure out what all these nice, shiny instruments do. I’ll have you out of here in no time, what’s left of your teeth gleaming like the noontime sun! No, that would never go over.
How about this one? My name is Kim and today I’ll be your pilot today. And why not? I have logged many, many hours in the air; as a network TV stage manager I was sent literally all over the world for very cool and interesting gigs. What? Oh, you mean hours flying a plane? Well, no, I’ve never actually flown one but I’ve seen all the Airport and Airplane movies and I’m sure I could do a better job than Charlton Heston or Leslie Nielson. So, where shall we go?
Oh.. No dice?
Think, Miller, think. What do you do well? You can control large groups of people. You could be… an usher at Yankee Stadium! A traffic cop! An extra’s wrangler for Cecil B. DeMille movies! Huh? Dead? Really? Well, somebody must be still making those epic, Biblical films. Mel Gibson? Um. Never mind.
How about a PROCTOLOGIST?!
Hi, I’m Kim and today I’ll be filling in for your regular doctor. I think all I have to do is say, “assume the position” and then…. What? Why the heck not? My, my we’re a skittish prude aren’t we? Your loss, buddy
Come on, kid! Think! What else do you do well? You tell celebrities where to go, don’t you? Or, at least, you did. With all that experience you could get a job as, maybe, the receptionist for a dermatologist on Rodeo Drive? The recreation director at a rehab clinic? A bouncer for the back room at Spago! No, I’m just not perky, sedate or burly enough to do any of those jobs. But I am very smart. I could do just about anything I set my mind to.
Alright, time to get serious; I really do need a job! So let’s try this:
Hi, I’m Kim and I’m the stage manager. Welcome to our studio. Thank you so much for visiting with us today. Coffee? Sure, I can ask the stagehands to transfer your green room coffee into a show cup. That way you can keep it for the interview. Our host will be right in. Why don’t you have a seat and make yourself at home? Here we go, stand by please. Yada, yada, yada. Wow, that was really great. I’ll be sure to take my kids to see your new movie this weekend! Thanks again for coming in today. Okay, crew, take a ten-minute break and when we come back we’ll do some promos.
You know, promos, like the one you just read.
Peep the pics from more than two decades in TV!
LL Cool J
Tom Selleck
Jesse Jackson
Soupy Sales
Strawberry Shortcake
Bill Boggs and Dizzy Gillespie
Carroll O’Connor
Silly Kim Miller
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Kimberly Miller is a TV stage manager with more than 20 years of experience working on news, sports and entertainment programming. She thinks the television industry is a decent place to earn a living but she knows that jobs don’t define people. Kim is REALLY a mom, a girlfriend, a writer and one heck of a club DJ and softball player. She’d love to add bacon-earner back to that list.
