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Ask Rene: I Hate Being A Mom!

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Ask Rene:
I Hate Being A Mom!

I know it’s late in the game to be coming to this conclusion but I think I’ve made a terrible mistake. It really even hurts my heart to say this out loud but I don’t think I’m cut out to be a mother. I have two children under the age of 4 and am pregnant with my third. While the first two pregnancies were fairly uneventful, this one has been hard on me. I’m tired all the time and sometimes dream of just running away.

Add to that the stress of our family life; my husband works all the time and when he’s not working, provides very little help around the house.

I’d love to say I’m excited about this new baby, but at this rate, it just feels like one more thing on the list of things that are slowly sucking the life out of me. 

HELP!

Stuck In The Middle With Them

 

Dear Stuck:

WHOA! Okay there’s a whole lot going on in this letter. I also happen to believe that most of it can be fixed be delivering the baby you’re carrying and some clear communication to your husband. To that end, here’s what I would dio if I were you.

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UNDERSTAND THAT THIS TOO,
SHALL PASS

Creative Commons/TexasBobbi

Because you have been to the well two previous times, you know this to be true. What you are feeling is more than likely a little bit of fatigue with a bunch of hormones thrown in for good measure. This is temporary, remedied by delivering this baby and weeks of uninterrupted sleep While weeks of uninterrupted sleep is  the stuff dreams are made of, you know you’re not going to be pregnant forever. Mark your calendar until the days you get your body back.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: The Motherhood Waiting Game: 3 Reasons You’ll Want The Practice

TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND

Creative Commons/tropical.pete 

This is where you have to speak up. No one, including that lovely partner of yours, is a mind-reader. So you have to be explicit. Need your husband to do the dishes? Stop dropping hints and drop some words. “Honey, I’m beat. Think you could take over KP duty tonight?” If you wait for him (or anyone for that matter) to pick up on clues you’re throwing down telepathically, you’ll be frustrated for a long time. Say it early and often.

Read more:  What’s Love Got To Do With It? 19 Lessons From 19 Years Of Marriage

FIGURE OUT WHAT
YOU NEED/WANT

 

As moms, especially those with little kids, we don’t always get a chance to feed ourselves (and, no, I don’t mean chicken nuggets). What do you need to do for yourself to maintain your sanity and help you get through these next several weeks? Time alone, away from the family? A night out with just your husband? A night out with just yourself? Along with speaking up to your husband you need to do the same for yourself. Figure out what you want then go after it. That’s not selfish; that’s self-preservation.

Read more:  Guest Posting: Five Tips For Single Mom Sanity

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Now, along with all these things, I would recommend talking to your doctor. You need to rule out something more serious, like depression, and that assessment needs to come from a professional. Probably not a bad idea to check back after the baby is born just to make sure you’re doing okay.

Good luck, Mom!

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10 Comments

  1. Tiredmom

    May 29, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Dear Stuck In The Middle With Them,

    I hope you are reading this. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that childhood is a series of phases. Don’t waste one second feeling guilty that you don’t like this particular stage. Loving your children is different then loving each stage. You need to get to the next one as best you can and just make sure your children are loved and cared for. It doesn’t need to look the same as the person next door. As the older ones grow you will have the perspective you need to know that things change. By all means ask your husband for help but if he’s doing the best he can too just know that it will change. Hang in there!

  2. Rene Syler

    May 29, 2013 at 10:45 am

    great advice! THX for weighing in !

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More in Ask Rene

Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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