The GEM Debate:
Is Submissive The New Strength?

Okay, before I even launch into today’s debate, there are a few things you need to know about me. First, I am a child of the 60’s and no I don’t remember much of it. But the 70’s.. now that’s a decade I am very familiar with; plaid bell bottoms, big afros and free love, though I was not old enough to understand that last part.

Then came the empowering 80’s, encapsulated by this commercial.. remember it?





That’s right, little ol’ teenage me grew up thinking that I could do and be anything I wanted, which obviously included having a career and cooking bacon. One of those things I went on to do as an adult; this will show you everything you need to know about the one I left behind.

Now someone has jumped from the frying pan to the fire (I know; bad pun). World-class volleyball player Gabrielle Reece spiked one right over the battle-of-the-sexes net by saying the secret to a good marriage, well hers anyway, is through an “old-fashioned dynamic.”

What does that mean exactly?

In an recent interview, Reese said “The idea of living with a partner is, “How can I make their life better?” “

Anyone who’s been in any sort of long-term relationship can probably agree, that’s one of the things that has to be key to the survival of of said relationship.

But she went on to say (and this is where, in my opinion, her ship ran aground) that, “So if I’m the woman and he’s the man, then yes, that’s the dynamic. I’m willing and I choose to serve my family and my husband because it creates a dynamic where he is then in fact acting more like a man and masculine and treating me the way I want to be treated.”

*tires screeching*

Okay see, I was with her for the first part of that. The problem I have with the rest of her statement is that relationships are as different and unique as fingerprints; some work with the woman caring and cooking for the family. In our family and home dynamic, that is a surefire way for someone to end up with food poisoning or for me to end up as one unhappy mama. Buff is the one who handles the cooking. Why? Because he likes it. That’s the dynamic we have worked out for ourselves.


It seems like we veer off into dangerous territory when we start in with the absolutes; you are the woman so you do this, you are the man so you do this and so on. While I don’t think it’s being submissive is a sign of weakness per se, I do think making someone be submissive based on an antiquated or absolute way of thinking is dangerous.

I think true femininity is being true to yourself and finding a partner who you support and who can support you in that.

Okay that’s my take; what’s yours? Is submissive the new strength or is Gabrielle Reese out of bounds? What’s the dynamic in your own relationship? Lemme hear ya!

More from GEM:

Mediocre Mom Manual: Clubbing at 21 vs. Clubbing at 40… 4 BIG Differences..

10 From GEM: 10 Things To Do With (And For) Your Teenager

Ask Rene: Help! I Have A Bad Reputation!