Our Story Begins:
Taking A Chance..
Good Enough Mother Style!
I’m going to take inspiration today from closer to home. Well, closer to the heart, maybe. From the Head GEM herself, Rene.
Earlier this week she posted about taking a chance…a REALLY BIG chance. She was talking about her opening up and letting the amazing Ella Rucker learn, assisting for a fledgling media enterprise. She spoke about Ella wanting a mentor, not taking “no” for an answer, even working for free. Ella never backed down.
In many, many ways I’m nowhere near as brave as these women when it comes to taking those risks. I am nowhere near the bravery of jumping with both feet into the pools of uncertainty knowing that the steady income from a corporate paycheck is keeping my kids fed, housed, and clothed. It’s keeping us afloat. Before you argue that either of them – Rene or Ella – didn’t have too much choice…bear in mind we always have a choice. Both could have chased comfortable relationships and work options. Neither wanted to do that.
So I’m not brave? I didn’t say that. Risk is measured in reward, I suppose. What risks did I take?
In March of 2011, I lost my wife. That was my stability and my second income. Screw all that, though. She was also my friend and a woman I loved quite dearly. With her gone, my life could have gone to hell.
And it did.
A few short weeks after the funeral, due to illness and lack of a second income, I lost my house.
At the same time, my work informed me it was time to “make a change” in my department. That change meant cutting my salary and changing what I do each day. In the span of a few short weeks I’d lost the love of my life, a roof over my head, and the means to support and protect my family.
I could have done the easy thing: move back to Nebraska and stay there until I stabilized. I ended up at one of the best work environments with people who understand my home demands as well. After that I found a home I could rent, in my budget.
Then I started writing – every day – in order to understand myself what was happening to my life.
Something happened to me that day in 2011. I could have – hell I should have folded. Instead I wrote – words, music, anything that could pull me away from the fog of grief.