Connect
To Top

Guest Posting: Blended Bliss: 3 Ways To Get Started With A “New” Family

liveloveblend

Guest Posting:
Blended Bliss: 3 Ways To Get Started With A “New” Family

I have a blended family.  Wow, never thought I’d say those words.  But life happens.  My fairytale marriage became a nightmare.  The divorce became final and I prepared myself for life as a single mom of two boys.  I embraced it.  I actually looked forward to it.  Imagine, I could do whatever I wanted with no man to impede the pursuit of my desires.  All the single moms are already laughing or shaking their heads.

Well imagine my surprise when a month into singledom I met the man of my dreams!  I was actually rather annoyed with him for coming along so soon, but what’s a girl to do?!  That brings me to the topic of today’s tale… his kids.  My man has three kids.  When we met they were ages 15, 11 and 4.  This was a concern.  Was there room in my life and in my heart for three more children?  What if they didn’t like me?  What if I didn’t like them?  Everything suddenly got complicated.

Of course I voiced my concerns to my girlfriends.  They replied with the phrase heard by many in this situation.  “It’s okay, they don’t live with him.”  And somehow I bought into that, as if those kids would therefore not play a substantial role in his life, or mine.

First of all, let me make this clear.  Don’t ever say “It’s okay, they don’t live with him/her” to anyone considering marrying a person with children.  What on earth makes you think that matters in the least?!  Would you want to marry someone who walked away from his children just because they didn’t live with them?  Besides, that can change.  One of my husband’s kids has lived with us since we got married, and another one is considering making the jump as well.

Plus, for the kids that don’t end up living in your household full time, they still have a huge impact on your heart, your time, your finances, even your arguments.  If their mom signs them up for soccer, guess what?  You’ll be rushing to the store on snack day & searching the house for missing shin guards.  And get ready to go toe to toe with their mother as well.  The ex’s also figure in to the big smoothie you’re blending up.

Basically, to anyone considering blending a family, here are my suggestions to get you started on the right track…

1 of 3  

PRAY FOR GUIDANCE

Lel4nd

Doing this alone is impossible.  Tapping into your higher source for power whether it be prayer or meditation will help you weather the storms that lie ahead.

Read more:  8 Tips To A Stress-Free Holiday: Blended Family Style!

GO TO PREMARITAL COUNSELING

JarryWillson

…especially if you don’t think you need it.

Your marriage is going to need to be strong, but with kids you and your new spouse will need extra help focusing on setting the tone for the new family. Counseling helps get your concerns out on the table and give you some tools to deal with problems later.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: Blending A Family

DO NOT ASK YOUR FRIENDS FOR ADVICE

James Debono

This is one of those areas where unless they have actually been through it (or can guide you to someone who has) then you might want to steer clear of asking for help.

Read more:  Life Lessons: Andi Parker
******************************************************************************************************************************************************
So what are your experiences in blending families?  Do you have any advice for newbies?  Would you date someone who already has a family?  Let us know!

More from GEM:

10 From GEM: Easy, Inexpensive Forced Family Fun!

The GEM Debate: Is This Family Fun Or Family Fail?

Monday Morning Motivation: How To Build A Brand In 5 Easy Steps

andi parker

Andi Parker is a sweet but stubborn wife, and a motivated, multitasking mom of five. Kids include two “originals”, boys ages 13 & 9, and three “steps”, boys ages 18 & 14, and a 7-yr-old girl. Andi works as a TV Producer for a Christian TV Network and freelances as a Traffic Reporter for an NBC affiliate. Her heart is set on sharing victories and life experiences in order to encourage and inspire other blended family working moms… or any gal who’s ever had to juggle a man, a job, kids, friends, chores, etc.  Andi blogs at LiveLoveBlend.com.

1 of 3  

5 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Family & Home

Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

Copyright © 2017 Good Enough Mother® Designed By ABlackWebDesign