What More Can We Do For Our Daughter?
Rene, what more can I say and do to help support my 22-year-old daughter? She is a mother of two boys ages five and four. Her mother and I help with her youngest son while the other son is in pre-K; we have been helping her for six months now. The government has helped her purchase a new home two years ago based on her income; she has also filled out paper work for child care for the youngest. She works hard, putting in around 50 to 60 hours a week.
How can we continue to encourage her to fulfill her dreams as a single parent? She has never been married and the father of her two boys is in jail and has never paid child support. What suggestions would you have for us as loving parents and grandparents?
Helpful, Hopeful Granddad
Hi there HHG:
Thanks for writing in. The one thing I’m struck by in your letter, is the word, help. I know as parents, we hate to see our kids struggle, especially when they’re working so hard. But often times people forget that there are valuable lessons to be learned in that struggle and us swooping in to help them at the first sign of trouble sometimes has the opposite effect; instead of teaching them to stand on their own with a chance to learn and grow, they adopt a sense of learned helplessness.
Perhaps the next thing you need to do is help your daughter learn to help herself. To that end, here’s what I would encourage her to do.