How Can I Make My Sister-In-Law Like Me?
My husband and I have been together for six years, married for the last three. In the beginning things seemed fine between my husband’s sister and me but about a year after dating my husband, my mother-in-law told me that my sister-in-law has never really liked me. I was upset because I had been married previously and did not have the greatest relationship with my in-laws because of my ex husbands lies and infidelity. I don’t have any family within 3000 miles of me so I was really hoping that we could build a friendship.
This woman has tried constantly throughout the years to tear us apart. She hates me and I don’t know why. I always hear from other people that she says hateful and mean-spirited things about me but when I confront her she denies it. She has kept in contact with my husband’s ex-wife and a friend of hers that my husband cheated on me with about two years ago or so. I know my husband isn’t perfect and we are trying to heal, but every time I turn around it’s as if she is doing all of this right up in my face. She tries to get the whole family to have issues with me too and it’s just to much.
I have tried to be the bigger person for years. I have gone out of my way to build a relationship with her but she is so disrespectful and cannot see how she is hurting me. She uses passive aggressive remarks and pretty much pretends she isn’t doing so. Out of respect for my husband I have never called her out but it’s only getting worse and I just feel like I have exhausted all of my resources. To make matters worse, I have a child with a chronic illness who needs a transplant and it is wearing down on me. There is much more I could write about but this is the main problem. Please help!
At a loss
Dear At A Loss:
I read your letter several times because I wanted to make sure I was getting all the facts straight. You’ve been with your husband for six years, three of which you were married. Within the last year or two he has cheated on you. Your mother-in-law tells you her daughter doesn’t like you and she goes out of her way to keep in touch with your husband’s ex and the woman he cheated on you with. Oh and she treats you like crap.
Look, I’m not a therapist, but a mother who uses quite a bit of common sense. So, here’s what I would do if I were you.