Our Story Begins:
Resolutions Redux

One year ago I made a very strong pronouncement: I hate New Year’s Resolutions.

So with a year under my belt and my life getting into less of a grind than it was 365 days ago will I have changed my mind at all?


My reasons for hating resolutions have not changed from year to year.  Resolutions are simply asides we tell ourselves and most of us have absolutely no intention of actually keeping them.  Why?  There’s really no literal consequence to breaking them.  I know that.  You know that.  So why do we do them?  To make ourselves feel better?

To me the better option is to make a promise for something and then look back at whether you fulfilled that promise.  Promises are hard to break; not to yourself but to those who love you.  I have the fortunate (or perhaps unfortunate?) situation of knowing exactly what I pledged last year because I posted it here.

So how did I do?  You be the judge:


Well, maybe not all 30.  I’m close, though, really close.  When my wife passed away I was horribly overweight, at least for me.  I was sedentary, sluggish, hated how I felt, and my children suffered as well.  Now I’m up, we walk all the time, go to the park, and I am just 15 pounds shy of where I’d love to be.  Five from what would be good.

Read more:  Our Story Begins: You Are NOT A Plus-Sized Model



How? By breaking a dozen stories and work more than I’m asked.   This I accomplished.  My job, which I don’t often mention, is amazing.  I’m an investigative journalist and I work for a fantastic group of people.  I confronted illegal horse racing, underground gas leaks, parole violators, and a group of state officials making a kind of “unofficial” overtime.  I hope my bosses are happy with me because I’m really happy in my job.

Read more: Our Story Begins: Parenting Problem Or Matter Of Perspective?


I came to realize that it’s okay to have some things lying around once in awhile in the house.  I’m not perfect, I never was.  My wife wasn’t perfect.  None of my kids are perfect.  Sometimes a trip to the park and tackling the boys and tickling the kids is far more important than vacuuming up the dust.  It doesn’t mean I like the mess, in fact I make them clean up still.  But it’s not a strict routine.

Read more:  Our Story Begins: But Dad, Just LISTEN!


I did this, too.  I skipped the emotional minefield of the anniversary of Andrea’s death by going to where we are most comfortable: my childhood home.  I lost my wife, there was no way I was going to actually lose any available time with my family.  They helped me get through the last year or more.

Read more:  Our Story Begins: A Trip To LA and Lessons Along The Way (VIDEO)


Done and done.  We learned and played a song for one of my best friends in the world – and sent it to her.  I played and wrote music with a singer-songwriter.  I’ve actually completed demos of at least five songs and working on several others.  I recorded a song for a video on what would have been my anniversary – which, coincidentally, is also the day my wife died.  My kids always have a tune in their head, like their father, and I think that’s amazing!

Read more: Our Story Begins: How Do You Find Your “Primal Joy Bomb”?


Okay, I can’t actually say I have the answer to this one.  I hope it’s the case.  I took my oldest to see the improv troop from “Whose Line is it Anyway” live and she still talks about it.  I saw the Tedeschi Trucks Band with my oldest.  I took the boys on a train.  I took them all to Nebraska and they saw Mount Rushmore in South Dakota.  All of it with family, not alone.  It’s my mantra: we’re stronger together than when we’re apart.

Read more:  Our Story Begins: Letting Go So They Can Grow


I’m fairly happy and confident I’m more than 80% on these.  So what have I got on tap for next year?  More of the same!

What about you?  Do you make resolutions you won’t keep?  Have you considered looking at what you will do for you and your family?


More From GEM

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Dave Manoucheri is a writer and journalist based in Sacramento, California.  A father of four, two daughters and twin sons, his blog, Our Story Begins, is a chronicle of their daily life after the loss of his wife Andrea, in March of 2011. Follow him on Twitter @InvProducerMan.