The “Crews Missile”;
Would You Tell Your Kids THIS? 

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. I came across this piece in the NY Times last night (just as Buff and I were having yet another discussion about personal responsibility), It centers around an email written by  Nick Crews, to his three children who, according to Crews (and paraphrased by me) were a bunch of royal screw-offs. He says in part:

“It is obvious that none of you has the faintest notion of the bitter disappointment each of you has in your own way dished out to us. We are seeing the miserable death throes of the fourth of your collective marriages at the same time we see the advent of a fifth….

….Fulfilling careers based on your educations would have helped — but as yet none of you is what I would confidently term properly self-supporting.”

And as we read on, we see in the email (which was made public by one of his children and  now known as “The Crews Missile”), the grandfather is, among other things, worried about the crop of innocents brought into the world by his id-driven offspring.

“The predictable result has been a decade of deep unhappiness over the fates of our grandchildren. If it wasn’t for them, Mum and I would not be too concerned, as each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one cock-up to the next. It makes us weak that so many of these events are copulation-driven, and then helplessly to see these lovely little people being woefully let down by you, their parents.”

Nick Crews gave it to his kids both barrels, but will it make a difference? Will they change just because their father says he’s deeply disappointed in them? Maybe. But I doubt it. People change when they are motivated to do so and not a moment before.

I told you a bit about it in Monday Morning Motivation . My sister, Tracy’s situation (trying to raise two boys on her own with no help from their father and a low-paying job) was bad yet she stayed in it longer than was necessary. Why? Because she wasn’t ready to make that change; getting out of her current situation wasn’t tugging at her soul. She wasn’t sufficiently motivated nor was the discomfort great enough for her to want to get out. And no amount of begging, pleading or showing her what could be, made one bit of difference.

For Mr. Crews, his only hope is that his youngsters (who actually don’t sound so young) are motivated to make things better, if not for themselves, for their children.

So how about you; would you ever write a letter like this to your adult children? Would you tell them their lives were deeply disappointing to you? Why or why not?

More from GEM:

Our Story Begins: Come On Kids, Help Your Old Man Understand…. Why Do You Do That?

Ask The Good Enough Guy: Is My Husband Fooling Around?

Friends ‘Til The End: The 3 Things You Can Always Count On