I’m not sure if it’s a midlife thing, a tired thing, a too-busy thing or what but lately I’ve been taking a hard look at my chosen profession and it truly pains me to say, I’m not liking what I see.
I just wrote a piece for Babble about this whole, “Favorite child” debate; as you know it’s one I’ve tackled before, I even did Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show about it. And I’m as troubled now about it as I was then.
(To reiterate my position; it’s really not about whether a parent HAS a favorite child, psychologists say it’s only natural. It’s the fact that they feel the need to write about it in a forum where their kids could stumble upon it at some point. You can read more about my take here).
As some have commented over there, the initial post by Dadcamp does feel more like the, “Look at me” variety rather than something that could really help. But one has to wonder, what’s the ultimate goal? I mean, if he’s really bothered by how he feels (and given his comments to me and others, I don’t think that is the case), why not see a therapist? Or a pastor? Or talk to your partner? Why the need to confess to the nameless, faceless throngs? Is it to make them comfortable with their own, similar feelings (if they have them)? That’s very noble but it is done (potentially) at the expense of your child. Is that what you set out to do when you started blogging? I know I didn’t.
When I started Good Enough Mother back in 2005, my goal was to show the realities of parenting, that though there are a lot of good things, there are parts that sort of suck too. But I never wanted to write anything that would hurt my kids. Ever. If that meant page views suffered as a result, I considered it a small price to pay.
I truly understand the sentiment expressed recently by blogger Frugal Mama about why she’s giving up blogging as a business.
“Jockeying for attention in the age of a million blogs and still trying to care for my family, live by my values of meaning and connection, and maintain a simple, sweet, slow life was an impossible ideal.”
Jockeying for attention.. It makes me wonder if we have to say the most outrageous things to make a name for ourselves on the World Wide Web? Do we have to throw our kids under the bus in the blogging business? Is it more about the headlines and less about the health and well-being of the about our muses? Not for me.
Yes, I write about Casey and Cole a lot but even so, there is a line that won’t be crossed. That that means anything I think will hurt these two (now or in the future) stays in this house. And I will never put online that which I would not say to their faces. “I like your brother/sister better, is something that will never cross these lips.
So what do you think? Is parent blogging the new shock TV? Do bloggers have to say the most outrageous things to get noticed? What do you think of bloggers who do that? And would you ever admit online that you liked one child more than the other?