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Doses of Reality: What Will You Miss Most When You’re Gone?

Hey guys, our little juggernaut continues to grow with the addition of another columnist. You met Ashley Taylor a few weeks ago here, which was just a few weeks after I met her here. Anyway, she totally subscribes to our philosophy and will bring another voice to the GEMpire, as she, like Ella, has little ones. So without further adieu, please welcome Ashley who’ll be making an appearance here monthly.

Take it away, Ashley!

I found myself inspired recently reading Nora Ephron’s lists of what she would and would not miss when she was gone. I remember Nora Ephron with so much admiration because of her unique ability to inspire women across generations with her writing. Her lists made me think long and hard about what I would find myself wishing I could have back again if I were gone.

I would miss…

1) The pure joy that emanates from my girls when they laugh together.

2) Laying in bed at night with my older daughter sharing stories and hearing her reveal her deepest feelings.

3) The way that my younger daughter expresses her thoughts with such passion and enthusiasm.

4) The shared history with my sister, the way that we can talk about our lives together and just know the other person totally gets it.

5) My husband, I would miss that we would never again stand in our kitchen talking about our days and I would miss never again remembering the moments our daughters were born with the only other person who knew exactly what it felt like.


6) Good girlfriends and time spent together having conversations about everything from marriage and motherhood to sex and politics, because all the conversations are validating, real and honest.

7) Movie previews, as I love nothing more than the moment the screen gets dark, and I get to watch and anticipate all the movies I can’t wait to see.

8) Laughing, the kind that leaves you with tears streaming down your face and your sides hurting.

And then there are these.. Things I would not miss…

1) Paying bills and balancing the checkbook.

2) The feeling at the end of the day when I know that I have hurt my children with my words or my tone.

3) Folding and putting away laundry.

4) Hormones, particularly the way they make me feel as if I am out of control, know that I am and still am unable to stop it.

5) Clutter and the feeling that there is nowhere to put it all.


6) The sound of motorcycles, particularly outside my house when my children are sleeping.

7) People who are fake and unwilling to admit when life is not all that and a bag of chips.

8) Feeling guilty every time I eat candy because I know my jeans will be hard to zip the next day.

Reflecting on these things made me realize that perhaps it is a good exercise for everyone to do, periodically, as a way to remind ourselves about what is really important and what really is not.

So, tell me, GEM nation,  if you were making a list of what you would miss the most or what you would be more than happy never to think about again, what would be on it? Share in the comments below.

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Ashley is a stay-at-home mom of two daughters, Emma (8) and Abby (4). She is an occasional nurse and married to Robert (41). Ashley continues to “tell it like it is” on her blog The Dose Of Reality. Follow her on Twitter @ashleytaylor76


  1. Ella Rucker

    July 23, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    I would miss every.single.thing. I do NOT want to go! But specifically just watching my daughter grow up and seeing who she will become. How beautiful and funny and tall (I can’t imagine having to look up to my own child).

  2. AnnMarie

    July 26, 2012 at 1:18 am

    As usual, your lists could be my lists. I keep thinking I need to do this. It will help me gain perspective. I will not miss that feeling after I eat candy either!

  3. Mamarific

    July 26, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    I am on board 100% with your list. And two things I would add that I would NOT miss are mosquitos and lima beans 🙂 Good to reflect on these things.

  4. Mothering From Scratch

    July 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    {Melinda} I love Ashley! Great to see her featured here. 🙂 I am trying to make a practice of being more grateful, even for the little things. It’s amazing how it changes your perspective and attitude. I would miss the sometimes difficult, but rewarding journey I am on with my husband. I would miss my teenage daughter’s wicked sense of humor. I would miss my son’s spirit and love for life.

    I would not miss the incredibly stressful morning routine to get all of us to school and work every morning! 🙂

  5. bill

    July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

    And now, heeeeeres Ashley. Lets have a big hand for the little lady.

    Boy, I sure agree with you about motorcycles. Talk about annoying. If I’m deaf and I have the windows rolled up and they’re still extremely noisy then that’s too loud. I know why they do it but its still irritating.

  6. Debbie L.

    July 27, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Great idea, Ashley! This reminds me of Oprah’s “thankful journal” she used to talk about – and I also think it is a good idea to talk about the things we will not miss, because it might help to avoid encountering those things while we are still here, thus allowing more time for the things we would miss!

    For me, I would miss my wonderful fiancee and soon-to-be-husband. Every single day with him is a treasure. I would miss my son and everything about him, especially his perspective on life and people and places. I would miss my family and close friends who are just like family, as they truly bring me the joy that makes up my world. I would miss just about everything in my life right now.

    I would not miss the sound of children screaming in restaurants, people talking during the movies, people texting while walking and bumping into you, people who do not use their blinkers or basically know how to drive, dishonest and mean people, drama, spiders, and snakes.

    I could go on and on about all the good, the bad, and the ugly, but I think you get the picture!

    Congratulations on being a part of this site!

  7. Single Mom in the South

    July 29, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Great list…some things I didn’t think about!

  8. thedoseofreality

    July 29, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Thank you all for your fantastic comments. I love reading what other would and would not miss, because it immediately makes me think, “Yeah, me too!” or “Oh, I wish I had put that on my list, too!” so this is great! 🙂

  9. Dana

    August 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    This really makes me think about the thumb’s up in life – thanks – great article!

  10. Mose

    September 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Aw, this was a very good post. Finding the time and actual effort
    to make a really good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never
    seem to get anything done.

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