Kirstin Piccini is reading in New York City’s Listen to Your Mother show on May 6th which Rene will host and emcee. Listen to Your Mother (LTYM) is a national series of live readings by local writers in celebration of Mother’s Day. Born of the creative work of mothers who publish online, each production is directed, produced, and performed by local communities, for local communities. This year LTYM will appear in 10 places around the USA. Visit the LTYM National site to see if there is a performance near you!
Are you happy at the moment?
Sort of. I am trying very hard to BE HAPPY and this year I have extended periods of true bliss. Sometimes, my heart yearns for more time to relax, a body that doesn’t hurt so much and a chance to chase my truly “impossible dreams”. Yet, when my sons call me Mommy, when my husband hugs me and tells me I’m beautiful, when I find the perfect pair of shoes, YES, in those moments…very happy.
If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?
Oh. Dear, sweet, kind and completely clueless 16-year-old Kirsten, I would tell you that it’s no accident that you think you are different from the other kids, you are. I would tell her to stop looking to other people to tell her what to be, what career to pursue and what path to follow. I would tell her to dream her wildest dream and then RUN and CATCH IT. (That or the lottery numbers for June 1998 😉
What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?
I might have to take more than a few sentences to answer this but I’ll try to put it simply. I learned I’m loved more than I thought I was. That is it in a nutshell really, but it’s also so much more. I’ve learned that when people say, “You inspire me” and “Your smile gets me through rough days” they really mean it. Plus, it’s only taken 42 years but I am finally basking in the quote “Good things come to those who wait.” My life is opening up with my heart this year.
What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?
Gosh, I wish I had a crystal ball. I think most of all, I’d like to have one of my short stories self-published. To see my name in print would be an incredible accomplishment.
What’s your secret to happiness?
The ability to know what I need when I need it. Sounds so lofty doesn’t it, but in reality it’s simple stuff: Allowing myself a cupcake when I want one, buying a pair of shoes that make me feel like a million dollars but cost less than $20, tickling my sons when I know that only their giggles will heal an ache, reaching out to my friends and family when I am in need of encouragement and those quiet, selfish times of sitting with my remote and the DVR and ignoring the STUFF of my life in order to come back to it whole.
What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?
Saying ”Thank you.” This can be a really big, selfish world sometimes and often we aren’t grateful for the little things. So in my life, I try to say THANK YOU for the BIG STUFF and for all the little stuff too. My mom has always given me great advice but the one I am most fond of is that in your personal relationships, with the people who you can take for granted most often, you need to say THANK YOU for all the mundane and banal things. This is one thing I try to do a lot. Those two words can heal a lot of hurts and build a lot of bridges.
What’s your biggest regret?
My biggest regret is not believing in myself when I was younger in all the areas of my life (and yes, more than often, NOW). I am still not able to sit comfortably in that space where you consider yourself worthy, but I am working on it.
What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?
My twins, Giovanni and Jacob, are just four with a life in front of them. I can only hope that what we are teaching them is that LOVE is always the answer. I always say I don’t care what my children do for a living but I want them to have a moral compass, a way of looking at the world that makes room for every other human being and their journey.
What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?
I grew up Catholic and so I have lots of guilt tucked inside me. I feel bad, unworthy and guilty about a lot of things. It would be wonderful if I could rid myself of that constant need to say “I’m sorry” for everything even if it’s something that I have nothing to be sorry about. (Plus I know my husband would love it too, he hates that I don’t think enough of myself to stop apologizing for EVERYTHING).
Aside from motherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?
I’m proud that I went back to college at 24 and graduated at 28. I’m proud that Infertility didn’t break my spirit or my marriage. I have a lot of pride in the fact that even when the going got tough, I just got going.
When were you happiest?
The day the doctors pointed to the two small black blobs (my oodle twins) on the ultrasound and said, “There’s 1 and there’s 2”. I remember thinking” I am witnessing a miracle of God and science” and there was only BLISS in my heart.
What ten words best describe you?
As always, I don’t know where to start. How do you pick words to describe you and not make it sound self serving , contrived or boastful? Yet…here goes (and in no particular order):
Thoughtful, Kind, CUTE, Grateful, Emotional, Sincere, Empathetic, TIRED, Impatient and Optimistic.
Kir is finally a wife after decades of dating, a mommy to twins after years of battling infertility and a writer after filling a mountain of notebooks with her stories. She gives a voice to infertility, discusses her recently diagnosed fibromyalgia and celebrates other mommies with her weekly series called Proud Mommy Moments while giving life to fictional characters. She also adores cupcakes, high heeled shoes and watches entirely too much television. You can find her on her blog, The Kir Corner and follow her on Twitter at @KirstenPiccini
More Life Lessons from the Listen To Your Mother cast: