I was tooling around on line today, surfing some of my favorite sites when I stopped at cafemom.com.In one of the discussion pages, I found this little ditty from a confused mother who writes:


I was talking to my friend earlier tonight and she had mentioned that she provides her 13-year-old with pornographic material to have for his alone time……..

This caught me WAY off guard. She says it is about time for them to have the feelings to touch themselves and she thinks it is ok to give them this material. HM I still am kinda flabbergasted. I asked my son if he has seen some of this and he said YA they look at it but don’t do anything naughty, they just comment like most guys would.

SO I need help….. am I so out of the loop? Do I follow the steps of my friend? I do not remember my mother ever doing this for my brothers, but then again, it is kind of a private thing……. I feel that if they are able to look at this kind of thing, they are going to want to act on it.

I am SERIOUS about this post so I need all the advice us mommies can give.


Now of course you all know we’re pretty liberal around here, adopting a non-judgmental, live-and-let-live philosophy. However..


I’m not sure which frightens me more, the mother giving the girlie magazines or the one asking if it’s okay. I mean, isn’t there some sort of internal alarm that should be clanging like mad when faced with something like this? Or is the mom who’s asking, that out of touch with her own warning device? I think she knows it’s inherently wrong; it just SOUNDS wrong and that’s why she’s writing.

Pornography pollutes young, impressionable minds. If you’ve ever watched porn before (tell the truth), outside of bad music and even worse acting, it objectifies women. Essentially they are nothing more than a means to an end. Research shows that young people exposed to copious amounts of it, begin to think it’s real but, come one now! Did you REALLY need a groups of scientists to tell you that? Most of us understand the power of media, how it shapes the way we see the world. That’s why it’s critical that we as parents step in and provide REAL reality instead of the scripted variety so popular in Prime Time.

Intentionally exposing your child to pornography seems at best, irresponsible and at worst, complicit. Ultimately, I want to teach my son how to treat a woman, to model the behavior of his father and to see that women have a whole lot more to offer than just being horizontal.

Two other points. The mother’s feeling that, “it is about time for them to have the feelings to touch themselves”, troubles me a great deal. As we know, development is individual. What if her boy is NOT ready to see this or doesn’t want to “touch” himself in that way? So she’s hijacking Mother Nature and putting it on her time schedule? And if she thinks a teenage boy (when he IS ready) needs pornography to “touch himself”, well, let’s just say she must have been absent when the 8th grade boys had to solve a math problem on the blackboard.

I’m not a prude; I’m under no illusions that my kids won’t see pornography at some point in their teen years. I just don’t feel I need to remove every stumbling block along the way. And when they do see it, I want them to have the knowledge and understanding that it is far from real and can be real dangerous.

I have just the thing for these moms. For the one who wrote in I’d say, “Honey, you need different friends.” And the mom who’s giving her son porn? She and her half-baked idea need a little more time to cook.

What about you, what do you think? Am I a prude? Would you ever buy your kid porn?

Lemme hear ya!


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