Hi Rene:

Recently, while trying to check my Facebook page on my parent’s computer, I came across a conversation my father was having with a girl who he called his daughter. So I kept reading and and realized that he has a love child, who is about my age. My father does not know that I know. This is a complete surprise because I thought that my parents had a great relationship.

I don’t know what to do. Should I tell my siblings about it? We’re all are in our 20’s. This has hurt me so bad and I don’t want them to feel the same way, but at the same time they are entitled to know right?

But what about my mom? They been married 32 years, I don’t want to destroy their marriage. Should I confront my father about it?

Confused in Chicago

Dear Confused:

Oh man, you probably figured out long before this that parents are not perfect. We make mistakes and some of them are big ones. This is one of those times. The hard part is that you are now carrying the burden of your father’s lapse in judgment and that’s a lot for anyone, much less someone your age.

My advice would be yes, talk to your siblings, if for no other reason than having some help to share the load. Regarding your mother? Well that’s a whole different situation. Here’s what I would advise….

 

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