Hi Rene: 

I am absolutely in a quandary. My daughter is 14 and seeing a senior in high school who thinks the world of her. He hasn’t laid a hand on her and puts up with her crazy, stubborn personality. He, however, has much stress on him from his family, his obligations with jobs, etc. He is an incredible young man, he’s even told me, though he’s not sure yet, he thinks my daughter might eventually be “the one'” for him. I do believe he is sincere but he is young, too. He could have any girl he wants but he chooses my daughter.

He doesn’t want to hurt her and he doesn’t want to get hurt either before he leaves for college in the fall. They don’t say they are dating or boyfriend or girlfriend and I like it that way. I think very highly of him and one day, hope that their paths will cross again at a better time.

My question is this: my daughter believes he is seeing other girls. Personally, I cannot see how he has time for any other girls but she is very insecure about it. I point blank want to ask him about it to just see if he’s all he’s cracked up to be or if he’s playing both her and me. He and I had a talk early into their ‘relationship’ and I told him what I expected of him and the respect I wanted for my young daughter. He has never shied away from any of my questions.

This question may just be too over the top, though and I don’t want to interfere with a good thing, especially considering they may, several years down the road, wind up together. I can’t explain how worried I have been lately. I recently found your site and hope you can help.

Thank you so much!

Worried Sick

Dear Worried Sick:

Thanks for writing in. I’ll start my advice the way I do with all he people who write in and say, don’t panic just yet. I  think you need to talk to your daughter and explore why she’s so insecure about their relationship. Has the “boyfriend” given her reason to be or can this be chalked up to teen insecurity? Beyond that, I would say this..