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The GEM Debate: Sex And The Sermon; Should A Pastor Talk Like THIS About Sex?

 Well, it’s not exactly Song of Solomon but it sure is getting some folks fired up! A Seattle pastor is talking  about sex and not in hushed euphemisms, he’s putting it all out there, causing blushing and a bit of backlash.

 Mark Driscoll, pastor of Seattle mega church Mars Hill  has coauthored with his wife Grace, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship And Life Together.  They write candidly about sex, the types of sex, masturbation (which they say the Bible does not ban), even challenge some long-held, widely accepted beliefs on birth control. Oral sex is described as “a gift stewarded well” and the pair even address anal sex, though they caution not to let addictions take over for “normal intercourse”.

Needless to say all of this has placed the Driscoll’s at the center of a storm of criticism, with some questioning whether either is qualified to be offering sex advice.

Let me preface this by saying I have not read the book. But I think one of the reasons this guy is the pastor of a “mega-church” is because, at least in part, he’s dealing with real life issues in a real world that can be real messy. Instead of whispering about this stuff, he’s ripping the covers back (pun intended) and talking about things that can sink a marriage if not dealt with and resolved sufficiently. He must be saying what people want to hear because the book is well on its way to a spot on the best seller’s list. I guess my only criticism would be when he talks of what is “normal” because as we know, normal for some may not be for others.

But the point is this; why SHOULDN’T we be talking about sex within the confines of our relationships? It seems like all the headlining grabbing stuff is when people are tip-toeing outside their marriages, like the danger of being caught adds to the sexiness of it all. Well, that’s the Hollywood version anyway. I just think in a time when salacious headlines make news, it’s nice to see someone advocate for having sex WITH your husband or wife and spicing it up along the way.

That’s my take; what’s yours? Is this a book you would buy and share with your spouse? Should a pastor be talking about sex in this way? Do you think it’s a good idea or is Driscoll just trying to make a buck? Lemme hear ya!

9 Comments

  1. Cody Williams

    January 11, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Why not? There is a lot of sex in the bible. Especially the OT. Some of it quite steamy.

    It’s where we live and breathe.

    Too many of us just jump into each other’s bed and never really have a conversation about our physical needs and desires and connecting those to our spiritual aims.

  2. Ella Rucker

    January 11, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    This man and I sinned 🙂 and he prayed afterwards. It was his nightly thing. It was so freakin sexy I fell in love. Sex and religion don’t have to be two separate things and I really applaud pastor’s who show complete love for their mates. It adds realness and it makes the salacious relationships seem unnecessary.

    So preach on, Preacher Man!

  3. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    January 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Okay, I’ll ask, Cody – what is “OT?”

  4. Rene Syler

    January 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    @Karen OT=Old Testament 🙂

  5. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    January 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I just figured it out. Never mind!

  6. Rene Syler

    January 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Karen LOL could have mean On Top as well, I suppose 🙂

  7. ViHo

    January 11, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    i agree with him. this has been a big issue/problem in the church in the past. Christians think that there’s a “Christian way” to have sex and a “Secular way” to have sex…. w/ur spouse. and as a result a LOT of Christian marriages fall apart b/c either the husband or the wife isn’t “doin IT” right or freaky enough or kinky enough, etc. according to statistics, the divorce rate among Christians is MAD HIGH!!!! there’s a reason for that and I think that Mark Driscoll and his wife can be a part of the solution with this book(based on ur blog, rene).

    my hat’s of to this brother. i’m with Ella Rucker on this… “preach on, Preacher Man!” i’m all for over the top sex! make it do what it do!! LOL 😀

    and Cody is right, the Old Testament has some “stuff” up in there!! have you read the entire book of the Song Of Solomon?? that dude was on some OTHER stuff… FOR REAL!!!!! he coulda been part of my crew! LOL!

  8. Pontificating Brother

    January 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    God doesn’t prohit sex..he encourages it as long as it is in the confines of marriage. For far too long sex has been a closed door conversation when it is an expression of our love for our spouse. “the marriage bed is undefiled” in other words what you are your spouse do in your bedroom with each other is fine. God meant it to be enjoyable…so if you are married go ahead and get your FREAK on. Don’t hold back..swing from the chandelier if you want. Break out the cuffs and jelly. Pour some sugar on her/him…don’t allow sex to be an afterthought. For goodness sakes don’t condeme the pastor for talking about what married people should be talking about…real life.

  9. Marguerite

    January 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong with the discussion, as long as it is in an appropriate setting and context. After my husband and I were married, sex became sacred and actually more satisfying. I agree with Ponitficating Brother. Get your freak on!

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