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What Are You Worth? Five Things To Remember

What Are You Worth?
Five Things To Remember

It’s been a pretty eventful couple of weeks/months here at Good Enough Mother and for the woman behind the movement (yeah that would be me!). There have been some changes that have left me more in control of my site, my brand and myself. However, with freedom comes fear and I’d be lying if I said it was easy. But part of the GEM ethos, which I wrote about in my book (Click here to buy an autographed copy!) was doing the best you can and letting the rest go. That is precisely what I am doing now. Yep, the best I can do is good enough.

The other day, someone tweeted to me about knowing your worth and I started thinking about the ways I was undercutting that myself (yes, even I struggle with self-doubt). Then I made a promise to myself; I was going to stop that RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately that’s easier said than done but certainly not impossible. So I came up with these,  five tips to knowing your personal worth.

NO ONE WILL BELIEVE IN YOU AS MUCH AS YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: This is not optional. Start here and everything else will follow. Throughout your life you will enjoy the support of some key people and that’s a good thing. But at the end of the day, they go home to their lives and you to yours. Understand that this is your life, your vision. No one else will approach it with the same fervor you do. For them, it’s a job; for you, your true desire. Remember that.

THERE IS NO ROOM IN YOUR LIFE FOR PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD: Recently I was in a position where I found myself tiptoeing around someone. My palms would sweat, my heart race whenever I had to interact with them. I would read and reread emails I had to send, searching for any wording that might piss them off. Then I remembered what I told the Disney Social Media Moms this summer;  “there is no room in your life for people who make you feel bad.” I had to stop and take a breath. I stood up so confidently on stage and told these women to “just say no” to toxic people but I wasn’t doing that myself! So I woke up the other morning and said, “SCREW THAT!” and did something about it.  For as scary as it was, it was also incredibly empowering. Leave room in your life for people who stoke your fire, not soak your fire.

I DON’T KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, BUT I CAN FIGURE IT OUT: What I am doing is a colossal undertaking. It’s also something I have never done before. Do I know all the ins and outs? Of course not.  But I’ll learn. The other day a friend made me cry when she called me resilient. ME! She’s right, you know. This is a new phase, for me, my life and career and hell yes, it’s scary. But, as my friend pointed out, I have been through a lot worse;  I will get through this too and be better, faster, stronger for it.

NOT EVEYRONE WILL LIKE YOU: LET THAT BE THEIR PROBLEM: I think this is a tough one, especially for women. We want people to like us, we’ve been raised to be “good girls” and somewhere along the way, some of us take that to mean, “go along to get along.” We don’t stand up for ourselves, even in business situations, because we’re afraid we might make an enemy or that someone might not like us. News flash! Not everyone will like you. Some will be people you do business with, some will be people who watch you on TV, some will be people who see you walk down the street and hate your for no reason other than the way you wear your hair. Pull up your big girl britches and deal with it. Repeat after me; I.Don’t.Care.

DON’T EXPECT TO GROW WHEN YOU’RE COMFORTABLE OR TO BE COMFORTABLE WHEN YOU’RE GROWING:  I wish I could achieve true greatness from right here, inside GEM World Headquarters. How likely is that to happen? Not likely at all. I have to move, learn, and stretch beyond what I think I’m capable of. And it hurts like hell. Sometimes relationships, when they’re not moving in the same direction, fall victim to that growth. It’s times like this we have to remember that, what looks like an end, is actually a cleverly disguised beginning. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less. But it is, what it is.

I know this isn’t one of my usual, spikey posts; I just wanted to share this with you. I value your opinion, treasure your support and wanted say thanks. Good Enough Mother isn’t going anywhere, just learning, growing and moving on.

What about you? Do you know your worth? Do you value it? Do you have people in your space and life who suck the wind out of your sails? Why are they still there?


15 Comments

  1. Traci

    September 4, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    LOVE this. When I was going through tough times at my former job I often thought back to what you told us at Disney Social Media Moms – especially “there is no room in your life for people who make you feel bad.” I worked for a bully who relished making me feel bad. And finally, in mid-July I said “No more!” and walked in on a Monday morning and QUIT. And then I walked out. As soon as I drove out of the parking lot it was as if a 50lb weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Thank you again Rene for your words of wisdom. You truly are one of my heroes.

  2. Rene Syler

    September 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    @Traci: Well, hero, I’m not so sure about but THX. Change is hard, whether forced on us or brought about by our own means. But it means we grow. The reason the weight was lifted from you is because now you can flourish. Yes, it’s scary because, as I said freedom and fear go hand in hand. But you can do it. I know that because you’re smart. You were smart enough to recognize a bad situation and get out of it. “Nuff said. I look forward to your next act.. as I do my own. Thanks for your support and best of luck to you!

  3. Smarty P. Jones

    September 4, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    This is an awesome post, GEM! I have been dealing with a few things for the past couple of weeks and I have been getting encouragement and reinforcement from all over the place. Thank you!

  4. Shavonnah

    September 4, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Love love love this Ms. Rene!!

  5. Renee

    September 4, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    This is all the TRUTH. Thank you for this post. Hunny u know u are telling the truth about ending relationships – that includes all kinds of relationships. Makes me think of my last job. Glad I took a moment to read this, and glad you shared it.

  6. L Martin Pratt

    September 5, 2011 at 11:33 am

    I was told recently i was only good enough for one thing in this person’s world. It hurt; cant lie. It also threw me completely off. Toxic people are difficult to recognize when we want “good people” to be good. But because a person is doing good doesn’t mean they are a good person or good for us. Thanks for this Rene.

  7. pattyrowland

    September 6, 2011 at 6:25 am

    love the advice that you gave to america…she’s a very strong woman but sometimes needs a little push and coming directly from you, it was awesome!!!!! thanks again to you and buff (and cole and casey!)…xoxoxo

  8. Teri T

    September 10, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with this for most of my life – not my adult life, most of my LIFE. I realized at 50 that I had to make some changes, and it’s taken me until almost 52 to begin to make them. I am blessed to have a great primary care doc who helped me realized that carrying other people’s baggage was killing me and a great therapist who is helping me to see that I am fine exactly as I am. Imperfect, but fine the way I am. The toughest part for me is dealing with the fact that some of the most toxic people in my life are family members. I’m working through it. Blogging helps. Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing your wisdom.

  9. Joyce @ MommyTalkShow

    May 31, 2012 at 6:28 am

    My attitude has done a 180 since I let certain toxic people go from my life. Yes, I miss them. occasionally. But in the long run, I’m better off without them.
    My free time is so limited with a high-energy 2 year old and a husband who I try to keep happy.
    My social circle has evolved to include more like-minded business women instead of constant complainers.

  10. Debbie Mitchell

    May 31, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Well Chica, you know I am on board with this post!

    I have watched your growth, learned from your growth and hope to continue growing alongside you. It’s been an amazing few years and we are both still standing and thriving in a whole new way.

    Keep motivating folks and sharing your words of wisdom. I’m raising a wine glass to the GEM empire!

  11. joyceline Smitj

    July 25, 2012 at 12:17 am

    Rene this is a awesome Gem. I am smiling because I know u r happy now. I never had this problem because I was taught that I was d most important person in the world around me. They made me believe. I was worth more than all the money in the world. My believe in my worth turn me into a leader. My mother and her family passedthis down. Toxic people come around to my way of thinking or we move away from each other. I don’t allow peopl in lfe unless they feelas good about themselve as I do. Rene didn’t no about d book but can’t wait to order one. Ur life is very interesting to me. Remember its only what u do for christ will last.

  12. thedoseofreality

    July 25, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Loving this post. LOVING it. Such good advice for women, especially. We seem to so undervalue ourselves, and we should stop doing that. Thank you for this!

  13. Pingback: Life Lessons: ME! In 2013 (VIDEO)

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Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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