marriage

Are you a commitment phobe? Worried about buyer’s remorse? Well, we’ve got just the thing for you. How about a two-year marriage? Mexico legislators are proposing just that. Is that such a bad idea? Yeah I said it.

When I read the headline I thought, “NO WAY! What kind of nonsense is this?” But reading a bit more about it, it sort of makes sense. The couple is married for at least two years. At the end of that time, they can decide whether they are happy and “renew” the arrangement; if they aren’t happy, they can end it. Stipulations are in place to deal with division of property and caring for children, making it easier than a traditional divorce.

Okay reality check. It’s not really the first two years that’s the toughest now, is it?  No, because once you’ve learned each others’ quirks, likes and dislikes, things sort of even out a bit and you get into a nice little rhythm. It’s after you’ve been married a while and you hit your first speed bump that the mettle of your marriage is tested. And how secure will you be in a relationship, how willing to show all your cards, make yourself completely vulnerable, if you know the person you promised to love and cherish, could stomp your heart to smithereens in 730 days?

The flip side of this of course is that divorce is painful, gut-wrenching and expensive. If two people agree things are not going well and it’s best to move on separately, why shouldn’t there be an easy way to do that?

To me, this approach feels less pragmatic and more like party, you know, for those who think marriage resembles a Massengil commercial with flowers and sweet smells. It ain’t like that, not by a long shot and definitely not after the first two years. It’s a lot of sweat, tears and sacrifice. Sometimes you wake up and wonder, who in the hell that person is lying next to you in the bed. Other times you think, thank GOD for him or her. Sometimes those diverse thoughts happen in the span of one night. I know because I’ve been there. It’s that relationship ebb and flow that makes stamping a marriage with an expiration date seem so foolish to me.

But I want to hear what you think. Is a two-year marriage a good idea? Do you think it would make people less committed as a result? Will having an easy way out mean more divorce? Or will it ultimately save time, money and heartache? Fire away and I’d really like to hear from those of you who’ve gone through a divorce.