When I was pregnant with Casey all those years ago, my OB asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby.

I really hadn’t made a decision one-way or the other and since this was my first rodeo, I asked him what he thought I should do. While he didn’t push, he did mention it might be nice not to know. I mean, I was going to find out in a few months, so why not leave something as a surprise? I decided to go ahead and find out what I was having, but not until 6 months later when that beautiful baby girl made her debut.

But now some couples are taking it a step further. Instead of just peering at what’s baking in utero they’re deciding what kind of cake they want before it even goes in the oven. Or at least they’re trying to.

Enter the world of sperm selection. Trying to better the odds of having one sex over the other is not really new (show of hands, who tried to pinpoint ovulation dates and have sex within a certain window? Yeah I didn’t either). But that still left a little something to chance. Sperm selection is actually taking a sample, spinning and separating (or trying to) those responsible for a particular sex. But is that a good idea? I’m not so sure.

Looking back on my pregnancies, I can admit I wanted the “perfect” family; dad, mom, two kids and of course the boy would be first. But why? I’m not exactly sure. I guess I thought if the boy came first he could protect the girl (it didn’t cross my mind that they would fight and he might beat on her). But I think it had more to do with society and what it deemed was the “perfect” family. Of course, we know there is no such thing. But my concern centers more on setting parents up for disappointment. Will they ultimately grow to resent the girl they had instead of the boy they desperately wanted?

Toward the end of my pregnancies, you know, the time when your womb is public domain and every stranger with their filthy hands is rubbing your belly, the question I got most often was, “What are you having?” “A baby” was my reply and I left it at that. And it made no difference at all that the girl came first.

Okay so let’s debate. Would you choose the sex of your child? Did you try to increase the odds of having one over the other? Do you think this is a good idea or should we leave some stuff to chance? Okay fire away!