I’m back on the box everyone!
Yes, your Good Enough Mother is making a second appearance on The Father Albert Show tomorrow so I hope you’ll all be tuning in!
I’ll give you the details in a moment – but first a little recap!
On the Father Albert Show a few weeks ago, I ran down the top five mistakes moms make when dealing with their kids. It must have struck a nerve because several people have asked me to list them again. So here they are, from least to most important… how many of these mistakes are you making?
5. TREATING YOUR CHILD LIKE A FRIEND: No, no, NO! You are not your child’s friend, contrary to what some Hollywood parents would have you believe. Preparing these kids for adulthood is no joke. That means we may have to take an unpopular stance from time-to-time, which is why it’s imperative that we understand parenting is not a popularity contest. Be the adult and toe the line.
4. BEING OVERLY CRITICAL: As parents we need to remember that our words have the ability to caress or to crush. In a flash of anger we might say something that sticks with our child for a long, long time. So we really need to be cognizant of the power we possess just in what we say.
3. NOT SHOWING YOUR CHILD RESPECT: Good communication has respect as one of its building blocks. There are times (most often math-related) where my kids know more than I do. There are also times when I’m wiser and have to put the hammer down (see number 5). But even in those instances, I at least hear Casey and Cole out before making my decision. That way they know I respect what they say and by extension, who they are. It does wonders for self-esteem building.
2. NOT ALLOWING YOUR CHILD TO BE INDEPENDENT: The example I gave on Father Albert was how I let my kids make decisions about their own wardrobe, as long as they’re age and weather appropriate. It makes me crazy when I see/hear moms micro-managing every aspect of their kids’ lives. “Well, they’re a reflection of me, so they have to look good.” See that veers dangerously into the territory I abhor; competitive parenting. Mom, take a step back and let your kids have some control, especially over things that are relatively innocuous.
1. NOT LETTING YOUR CHILD MAKE MISTAKES! Ta Da!! The number one no-no on the list is parents who do not understand the powerful teaching tool that is failure. Think back to your own life, the times you did the most learning probably came as you were struggling, trying to hit on what works and what doesn’t. We have to give our kids the freedom to figure out what works for them. You can be there to pick them up when they fall, but give them the spaceto do just that. Remember, the error portion of “trial and error” can be just as critical when it comes to learning.
On tomorrow’s Father Albert show, I’m talking about Moms Behaving Badly! Talk about a hot topic…
I’ll be giving my take on these moms, including some who think there’s nothing wrong with partying all night, every single weekend, while their kids stay home with dad. As you can imagine I had a lot to say to that mom!
Check your local listings and make sure you tune in to Father Albert tomorrow…
And if you have any more to add to my mistakes list above – fire away!