Hope you had a restful weekend because we’re about to jump right back into it!
I was tooling around the Internet yesterday (when am I NOT?) when I found this interesting piece. There’s a new group in Malaysia called the “Obedient Wives Club” whose 800 members feel they can cure societal ills by taking seriously their “duty” to provide good sex to their husbands.
It reminded me of a time, a thousand years ago, when I worked that network morning gig, and I interviewed Dr. Laura Schlessinger (yes, THAT Dr. Laura!) about one of her books. Laura said something that nearly made me fall off the leather sofa, right there on national television. Much like the “Obedient Wives Club” members, Schlessinger felt that it was our duty, as wives, to provide sex whenever our man wanted it.
Incredulous (and trying to hide it) I asked Laura, “What if we don’t feel like it? What if we’re not in the mood?” To which she replied, “Well, you don’t always feel like feeding your kids do you? And yet you do because it’s your duty. Sex with your mate is no different.” Whoa!
Now, my first reaction following the Dr. Laura conversation and now reading about the Obedient Wives, is to shoot down such an idea because honestly it sounds so old-fashioned, with its arcane rules and roots that extend into misogyny. But is it really?
I can’t believe I’m going to agree with ANYTHING Dr. Laura says but her example made sense; I don’t always feel like ‘cooking’ for my kids (Oh hell, who are we kidding? I mean heating a little something up in the microwave) but they need to eat. I have to feed them so they’ll grow. Dr. Laura was arguing pretty much the same thing; that a marriage needs to be tended to. The physical relationship you share with your partner is different from that of others in your life and it needs to be cared for. Fed physically and emotionally, just like the kids’ meals. I think the part I have a hard time with is the concept of “duty”. Duty is something you do, not because you want to but because you’re obligated. Do I want my sex life to be one of obligation? Not particularly. Do I think my husband wants that? Ummm. I’m still thinking.
Seriously though, even when you’re married or committed, isn’t part of the fun, the wooing? If it’s always there when you want it there’s no mystery, no intrigue. I mean you might as well be a living, breathing blow-up doll. Sorry folks, I can’t subscribe to this theory.
But that’s just me, what do you think? Is it possible that the Obedient Wives Club or Dr. Laura are on to something? Is good sex a ‘duty’ in a relationship? Should you have to work at a sexual relationship?
Fire away and while I’m interested in everyone’s opinion, I can’t WAIT to hear what the menfolk have to say!