My dear sweet worrywart, Casey, asked me this morning if the world was going to end tomorrow as various religious extremists are proclaiming!
To be honest, I was so busy trying to make sure I didn’t burn the toaster waffles I hadn’t really given it much thought. But after Casey brought it up, I took a long look at the naked Eggo on the plate, pushed aside the sugar free syrup, poured on its full calorie cousin and took a big bite. I had forgotten how much sugar and warm dough resemble sex. Yeah I went there!
Walking Olivia today I gave the topic a little more thought. What if, as predicted the beginning of the end does come tomorrow? Have I done all I wanted to do?
If the world were ending tomorrow, how would you spend today? Would you sit in your house, worrying about what was to come? Would you book a stand-by flight to New Orleans and drink Hurricanes until your eyes crossed? Would you throw caution and calories into the wind and eat dessert before dinner? Or maybe instead of?
I’m not exactly sure what I would do but I’d like to think it would be something noble like tell the people in my life exactly what they mean to me. I would tell my husband though we’ve had our ups and downs, he’s been the best partner a woman could ask for. I’d spend the next several hours hugging my kids, explaining to them how they were teachers as much as students and my life was enriched by them. I’d tell the people who believed in me how much their unwavering support meant; how it gave me the strength to go another day, even when I wanted to give up. And I would tweet and FB a similar sentiment, truly thankful for those who’ve supported the mission and me from afar. I wonder if I’d give the figurative middle finger to those who shafted me along the way? With time ticking, somehow that seems less important.
Then I’d sit back and spend the final hours with my family. By then I’d have consumed a pound of Twizzlers and a magnum of expensive Champagne, even letting the kids drink some if they wanted to. And then we’d sit back and wait; hopefully we’d be able to settle on something we all want to watch on TV, though not likely!
Those things don’t cost much (outside of the calories) so what’s stopping me? Why don’t I tell Buff how damn grateful I am for him and all he does? Why don’t I hug those kids until they push me away, telling them how they’ve rounded out my life in ways I never imagined? Why don’t I tell Richard and Roger and all you reading, thanks? For everything. I think we don’t show our hand because it means making ourselves vulnerable and that means we can get hurt. When you expose yourself that way there’s a shift in the power balance (yes, even in close relationships). You hold no more cards, have no other way to protect yourself. Being emotionally naked isn’t easy.
But let’s try it today, what do you say? I’m going to smile more, hug Casey and Cole like I really mean it, not the perfunctory kind. I’ll tell Buff I love him and I’ll make sure not to go to bed angry tonight. For the rest of you reading, thanks. If tomorrow is the end, it’s been a helluva a ride!
What about you? If today were the last day of life as we know it, how would you spend it? What would you do? Who would you spend it with and what would you tell them? Let’s hear it!