Good Enough Mother had to chuckle for a second when I read about Katherine Heigl’s interview in this month’s Redbook Magazine. She talks about the importance of balancing work and motherhood (hey, don’t we know THAT?) but she also made a comment that seems to be generating some heat in the headlines.
Heigl mentioned that her new husband, musician Josh Kelley can be “very self-absorbed.” This from a woman who publicly threw the writers of Grey’s Anatomy under the bus by saying the material she was given to work with was not worthy of an Emmy (WHAT?) And let’s not forget the time Katherine criticized the movie that made her a household name, Knocked Up, as ‘a little sexist’. She ain’t gonna win Miss Congeniality.
But while Heigl may have a bad reputation in some quarters I have to stick up for her this time around. First of all, what she said in its entirety, did not make headlines, only the juiciest part did. And secondly, she’s probably right!
In reference to Kelley, here is the entire quote.
“He’s a great dad. I didn’t expect it: He’s such a guy . . .I adore him, I can’t imagine being with another man, but he can be very self-absorbed. Not in an egomaniacal way, just kind of in his own head and unfocused on anything other than his own stuff. So I was really surprised by how on top of it and how connected he is.”
So basically what she was saying was that he was like a lot of other men. This is not man bashing but I think we can all agree, men process information differently than women. I am not saying BETTER so all you guys who have your panties in a bunch, settle down. Just different.
But from my own experience with my husband (and that is what I speak from. If you want to speak from your own experience, start your own website!) – it’s true. Men are sort of linear in their thinking. Buff, the man with whom I have the most experience, handles everything with aplomb, as long as it happens one thing at a time. Where that becomes problematic is that life is rarely that way. It’s more like a shit-storm from which we are continually running for cover.
Example: I left for a weeklong road trip Monday morning. This was just 5 days after my super-duper, top-secret trip to LA the week before. So I was up until 1am, scribbling instructions that would make an NFL playbook look rudimentary all so things would run like a well-oiled machine while I was gone. I’m not like Buff who, when he goes on a business trip, packs his Tumi carry on, kisses me goodbye and poof, like an apparition, he’s out. He gives not a second thought to who’s going to care for the kids (what we HAVE kids??) and their crazed schedule of music and sports.
It was tough, managing all that from the road and the thing that put me right over the edge was when I got a note from Cole’s teacher saying he hadn’t turned in his assignments for the last two days, despite Buff’s assertion that he had checked them (and this on the heels of trying to help Casey dislodge her stuck contact lens from 1,500 miles away!)
I’m not here to fault my loving husband; Lord knows he has a lot on his plate. I am merely making a point. When I got in the car to get to the airport, I was still making arrangements to make sure thank-you cards for Casey’s birthday party got made and mailed as well as 30 other pressing issues. I may look scattered but my world is as ordered as the universe, complete with super novas and black holes (my producer Richard may argue with me on that one!)
Like Heigl’s husband Josh Kelley, my own husband Buff can be self-absorbed. But here’s the news flash. SO CAN I and I’ll bet she can be too! So here’s a little tap on the shoulder and some friendly advice for Heigl. The trick is to find someone who will put up with you and your trips into your own little world. And that’s just one of the secrets to a long and happy marriage!
But what do you think? Do you think Heigl was in the right? Or should she have kept quiet? Start weighing in…