Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.

That was the sentence a judge handed down to actress Lindsay Lohan yesterday as she was found in violation of her probation for a 2007 drug case.  I’m not big on kicking people while they’re down, but in this case, Good Enough Mother says IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

When I was anchoring The Early Show, I interviewed Lindsay when she came in to do press for Mean Girls.  I thought she was nice enough and when I jokingly asked her if she was a mean girl in real life and she said no, of course not. But there was something about her answer that did not ring true.

I was not a popular kid in school. I was tall, thin, goofy looking with glasses. There were plenty of mean girls at my school so I know, on a visceral level, what they looked and acted like. You know, the kind who can cut you with one disapproving glance and let you know the pants your parents took 2 paychecks to earn enough money to buy are soooo yesterday. My impression of Lindsay Lohan was that, contrary to her protestations, she was in fact a mean girl.

When I say mean girl, I don’t mean it in the literal sense of the word but more of an attitude. And her attitude that day was that she couldn’t be bothered. Here was this young woman, on the brink of major stardom and she was bored with it all.

That is what I have seen on display these last several years. Lindsay Lohan is a mean girl because for her, the rules that the rest of us unpopular kids (who grew up to be mere mortals) live by, do not apply to her.

Case in point. When the judge told her to come back before the court in May, she was in Cannes, ostensibly working. Really? And what was the last movie she was in that did not go straight to DVD? Then she said she lost her passport and the ensuing drama was award winning.

Her lawyer said today that she wanted the court to concentrate on what Lindsay had done not what she had not done. But the fact is out of 27 mandatory alcohol education sessions, she missed 7. Even me with my horrid math skills can figure out that’s nearly a quarter. But then again, the rules don’t apply to her.


Lindsay Loan is going to get a lot of advice, from a lot of different sources.  I will add mine, even though she has not asked.

GROW UP! You cannot continue to act like you are better than the rest of us because you are not. Yes you are, or at one time, were an actress. Well how about acting responsibly? The judge is not some middle school teacher you can thumb your nose at and risk getting a bad grade.  This is the LAW honey. That means, when you are have court dates put them in your Blackberry with big reminders and BE THERE.  The party can wait.

ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM: This is part of being an adult. Clearly you have a problem with drugs and alcohol. Having a problem is nothing to be ashamed of if you try to help yourself. Not doing so squanders any good will people may have for you. I think you might be hard pressed to find some of that as it is.

FIND A CONFIDANT THAT YOU CAN TRUST: I know you love them, or at least your mother, but honey, I am sorry to say, your parents are not helping you at all. Your father never met a camera, a reporter, a tape recorder he didn’t love and your mother is too busy enabling you and trying to be your friend. She is incapable of kicking you squarely in your behind, which, sorry to say, is what you need right now. Your lawyer could be such a person as she clearly digests the magnitude and gravity of this situation. Your parents clearly have not.

On a personal level it’s been sad watching her downward spiral. She seemed to have so much promise years ago. Now I just see a young woman without a rudder.  But I do still think there is hope for Lindsay. It might be this trip to the very bottom, ROCK bottom that provides the impetus for her turn around.

What do you think? Was the judge too hard on Lindsay?