The GEM Debate:
Start A Protest Or Start A Project?

I’m not sure where we got off track, but let’s right this thang, shall we?

Today I came across an article about Victoria’s Secret.  The store is being protested because the lingerie empire has a cap on their cup sizes.  Being a gal with special bra needs since that fateful day in fourth grade when I “developed” breasts early, I’ve always had problems with Victoria’s Secret.  Yet, I’ve never had to go au natural because the store doesn’t provide my size.

You see, if you are really smart or just happen to know where a JC Penney or a Target store is, or even a Bergdorf Goodman, Lane Bryant or a Macy’s, you are pretty much guaranteed to find various sizes of brassieres and other things that will entice a man or just make you feel pretty.  And if you are completely outraged and follow the teachings of GEM (found here, here, and here) you will get off your duff and build something!

Yes, I said it.  This is America and no one store has to cater to all of us.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Not every cosmetic counter houses the best stuff for your skin, but Proactive seems to be doing just fine serving that market.  Why are people protesting instead of realizing there is now a new niche to be served?  If you have enough umph! to find signatures for a petition and enough people for a protest then you might have the makings of an idea whose time has come.  Victoria has been telling this Secret for years, maybe it’s time someone else gets the scoop.

My vision is this post change the view of one or two protestors who know that this is a new age and that the consumer is really in the driver’s seat.  There are plenty of people who can design a line of lingerie, pajamas, and cool fragrances.  If all the people protesting would form an LLC, apply for angel investing or a Kickstarter they might just put a few Ella’s Secrets (hey, it was my idea) into the market and see that they could build in construction and profits.  I know I’m oversimplifying, but am I really?  People are writing their own destinies with some hard, impossible work every day (see Rene and Ella); it can be done.

So what are you thinking?  This chick has no idea, stores need to be more inclusive?  Or are you like me – trying to figure out where you could get the capital to do the market research and designing “Ella’s Secret” fonts and brand colors in your head?  Let me know!

More from GEM:

Monday Morning Motivation: If You Build It (WELL), They Will Come

PLAY NICE! And 9 More Life Lessons From Disney

Welfare: There But For The Grace Of Jobs Go YOU

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  She is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com and in that vain as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing two-year-old and surrogate to a few other, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they are taking the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.  Follow her on Twitter @ellalaverne.

The post The GEM Debate: Start A Protest Or Start A Project? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

We Have A Winner!
A Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 From BuyDig Goes To…

Before we get to that, I just wanted to let you know that we are all winners.  BuyDig.com is offering a $10 savings on the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 exclusively for GEM’s readers, followers, and friends.  Just use the code GEMTABLET10 at checkout to receive your discount! Valid today thru June 30, 2013.

So you’ve tweeted, you’ve commented, you’ve signed up for the BuyDig.com email and all your hard work has paid off!  We have a winner.  Keri C. has won the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2!  Thanks to everyone who participated and got the word out.

The Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 has a stunning  7-inch Touch Display, Front and Rear Facing Cameras, 8GB Internal Memory w/ micro SD Slot, WiFi, Bluetooth, GPS, and much more!

We’d like to thank BuyDig for extending this prize to our GEMs.  Watch this space for more information, deals, and winning from BuyDig.com.

More from GEM:

Friends, Fun and Food..Is Your Grill Ready For Summer?

Spring And Allergies: 3 Ways To Breathe Easier

Teens And Technology: Are You Fostering A Learning Environment?

The post We Have A Winner! A Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 From BuyDig Goes To… appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Guest Posting:
All The World’s A Stage (Manager)

(Note from Rene:  I worked with Kim Miller for years back when I had that big gig at CBS. A consumate professional, we had some great times traveling the country and experiencing assignments ranging from the ramp up of the Gulf War to air shows in Ohio).

Hello, I’m Kimberly and it’s been about three years since I’ve had steady employment. When I did have a full-time gig it was, for many years, as a television stage manager, where I worked with Rene and many others.

But like I said, that’s been a while so I’m starting to think of other things I can do to make a living, you know, try out some different options.

Hmm..

How about a dentist? Come on in and get comfortable in the chair while I figure out what all these nice, shiny instruments do.  I’ll have you out of here in no time, what’s left of your teeth gleaming like the noontime sun!  No, that would never go over.

How about this one? My name is Kim and today I’ll be your pilot today. And why not? I have logged many, many hours in the air; as a network TV stage manager I was sent literally all over the world for very cool and interesting gigs. What? Oh, you mean hours flying a plane?  Well, no, I’ve never actually flown one but I’ve seen all the Airport and Airplane movies and I’m sure I could do a better job than Charlton Heston or Leslie Nielson.  So, where shall we go?

Oh.. No dice?

Think, Miller, think. What do you do well?  You can control large groups of people. You could be… an usher at Yankee Stadium!  A traffic cop!  An extra’s wrangler for Cecil B. DeMille movies!  Huh?  Dead?  Really?  Well, somebody must be still making those epic, Biblical films. Mel Gibson? Um. Never mind.

How about a PROCTOLOGIST?!

Hi, I’m Kim and today I’ll be filling in for your regular doctor.  I think all I have to do is say, “assume the position” and then….  What?  Why the heck not?  My, my we’re a skittish prude aren’t we? Your loss, buddy

Come on, kid!  Think!  What else do you do well?  You tell celebrities where to go, don’t you?  Or, at least, you did. With all that experience you could get a job as, maybe, the receptionist for a dermatologist on Rodeo Drive? The recreation director at a rehab clinic? A bouncer for the back room at Spago! No, I’m just not perky, sedate or burly enough to do any of those jobs. But I am very smart. I could do just about anything I set my mind to.

Alright, time to get serious; I really do need a job!  So let’s try this:

Hi, I’m Kim and I’m the stage manager. Welcome to our studio. Thank you so much for visiting with us today. Coffee?  Sure, I can ask the stagehands to transfer your green room coffee into a show cup. That way you can keep it for the interview. Our host will be right in. Why don’t you have a seat and make yourself at home? Here we go, stand by please. Yada, yada, yada. Wow, that was really great. I’ll be sure to take my kids to see your new movie this weekend!  Thanks again for coming in today.  Okay, crew, take a ten-minute break and when we come back we’ll do some promos.

You know, promos, like the one you just read.

Peep the pics from more than two decades in TV!

LL Cool J 

Tom Selleck

Jesse Jackson 

Soupy Sales

Strawberry Shortcake

Bill Boggs and Dizzy Gillespie 

Carroll O’Connor

Silly Kim Miller

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Kimberly Miller is a TV stage manager with more than 20 years of experience working on news, sports and entertainment programming. She thinks the television industry is a decent place to earn a living but she knows that jobs don’t define people. Kim is REALLY a mom, a girlfriend, a writer and one heck of a club DJ and softball player. She’d love to add bacon-earner back to that list.

The post Guest Posting: All The World’s A Stage (Manager) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Monday Morning Motivation:
The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen (PODCAST) 

Hi guys and happy Monday!

As you know, I travel quite a bit, taping various TV shows (Sweet Retreats and Exhale on Aspire) which means I meet some of the most interesting people. Most recently, I had a chance to spend time with Mike and Michelle Fink.

Mike and Michelle live in Lexington, Kentucky; we first met them when we were filming down there with another couple and it was one of their properties the couple was looking at as a Sweet Retreats possibility (you can see the episode here). They were so great we thought, “We gotta cast them for the show.”

Mike is a cattleman/business consultant who’s been married to his better half for nearly 30 years. He says what he thinks and thinks what he says, something woefully short in supply, in business and in life.

So in the time we were together, he kept dropping these nuggets on me and I would scurry to write them down (and I am ALWAYS writing). But so much of what he said made perfect sense that I wanted to share it with you as you get your work week started.

So for today’s Monday Morning Motivation.. here are The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen  with my own interpretation (Disclaimer: There are actually five because, well, math is not my strong suit).

Pop in your earbuds and enjoy!

Again, catch Mike and Michelle on Sweet Retreats, Kentucky here and I’ll put link on the page and then check them out in a couple of weeks when we air Sweet Retreats, Boston.

Until then, remember you don’t have to be perfect.. just good enough!

More from GEM:

Monday Morning Motivation: 5 Signs It’a Time For A Career Change

Monday Morning Motivation: Go At Your Own Pace!

Monday Morning Motivation: The Butterfly’s Struggle

The post Monday Morning Motivation: The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen (PODCAST) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Happy Birthday Cole!

Today is a really big day for me. Well I guess not as big for me as it is for my son, Cole, who turns 15 today.

Honestly I can’t believe it; that little guy who took his time getting here (though more prompt than his sister) and has been setting his own agenda ever since. 

It’s funny, when I was pregnant with Casey I thought for sure we were having a boy (I did not find out the sex of either child). But in all, nearly 40 weeks with Cole, I had no idea if he was a boy or a girl. He surprised us totally… something he’s been doing ever since.

So here are 15 things I’ve learned raising this boy (so far).

BE LOYAL

This was Night-night bear, Cole’s favorite friend in his early days. He loved Night-night right up until he met his untimely demise along a lonely stretch of Florida highway. Cole was insistant that we go back over that highway several times after Night-night escaped from the convertible where Cole, against his better judgment, was throwing him into the air as the car traveled at 55 miles per hour. That bear has now been replaced by friends and family to whom is he also fiercely loyal.

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BE LOVING

One of the things I love about Cole is the easy relationship he has with his sister, Casey. It’s obvious they care deeply for each other, sometimes walking in sync, one loosely holding he other’s hand. As a parent, that’s very comforting to know they’ll be there for each other, even after we’re gone.

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BE KIND

One of the coolest things I see in Cole is his tender heart, especially for animals. Unfortunately that extended to the box turtle we found living in the bottom of our pool after we drained it at winter’s end. No, we did not keep it.

Read more: The GEM Debate: Should Dads Step Away From The Desk?

HUMOR WILL SAVE YOU

I’d like to think he got it from me, but wherever it came from, it’s an assest. Laughter (and the ability to laugh at oneself) will take him far in life.

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A GENUINE SMILE
WILL GET YOU PLACES…

Cole’s motto? They’re free so go ahead and give them away.

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….SO WILL A ZEST FOR LIFE

 This is one of those things I hope Cole always retains. When life gets tough, remembering the good will get you through the bad.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: Trying To Reinvent? The Three Things You MUST Do On The Path To Success

GO HARD OR GO HOME

I really, REALLY love this picture. Buff and Cole traveled to Portland, OR to take part in the Nike Young Athlete Innovation Summit (I was at Disney so couldn’t accompany him). Before they left, I told Cole that dad had never been on a blogger campaign so he had to be the one to show him how it was done; taking pictures, learning, giving it your all. That’s just what he did.

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PURSUE A PASSION

Cole is a musician, and a damn good one. Some of it comes naturally; some of it is just plain ol’ gettin’ in there and practicing. It’s paying off too, which means I’ll be able to recoup some of the money we spent on lessons.

I hope.

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…EVEN IF IT’S CARBS

I have NEVER seen someone enjoy food more. Good, cheap food in copious quantities. You know that whole, “eat you out of house and home” thing? Yeah. That.

10 From GEM: 10 Cheap And Easy Staycation Ideas

DON’T FAKE THE FUNK

There are people in this world who can tell you exactly how you feel without saying a world; it shows on their face. Good, bad or indifferent, that is my son.

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BE DOGGEDLY
DETERMINED

Again, another part of Cole I love. Except when he’s determined to find a way out of homework or household chores.

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BE FLEXIBLE

Cole’s birthday was yesterday. This piece is going up today. I hate that I have been so busy I couldn’t get it up on his actual birthday and told him so. He said, “It’s okay, mom.” While he is singularly focused on many tings, there’s also a very easy-going quality to him.

Read more: Good Enough Mother: How I Hit The Brink And Made My Way Back

BE PRESENT

Cole lives in the moment and that’s good and bad. Bad because getting him to plan is like Mostly good though..

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BE ACCEPTING

Cole is not only accepting of people but also of situations that he can’t really do much about. Like getting trapped in a sudden rain at Disney’s Epcot. What a you gonna do? Throw a paper over your head and make the most of it.

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BE YOU

But this….. THIS is the awesome-sauce that is Cole. He is who he is. He doesn’t try to change and makes no bones about it. You like him or you don’t and if you don’t, well that’s okay by him too. I wish I could bottle that up and sell it.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: The Career Block And Tackle And Why You MUST Do It!

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That’s what I’ve learned so far.. and so far, it’s been a pretty wild ride. I love this kid for those reasons and so much more. Looking forward to the next 15 years..

I think.

Love you Cole!

More from GEM:

Who Are You? 5 Reasons You Need A Personal Brand

Hey Mom! How ‘Bout You Just.Say.No?

Ask Rene: I’m Worried My Husband Has Cancer

The post Happy Birthday Cole! 15 Things I Learned Raising This Boy (So Far) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Our Story Begins:
The Father’s Day (Re)Treat (VIDEO)

You might expect that Father’s Day is important in my house, being the sole parent of four pretty amazing children.

Sure…you’d be right.  But I don’t have massive expectations of the day.  In fact, this year is quite different.  Three of my kids are on their annual pilgrimage to visit their grandparents for the summer.  It’s a process that we undertake every year so that I can continue to work and so that the kids have a summer that’s more vacation and adventure than two months of missing their father.

This also gives me a chance to reconnect, one-on-one, to my college-bound daughter.  This Father’s Day I introduce you to my children and show you why it’s been a year of major changes already…but we’re doing just fine.

Click here to view the embedded video.

**********************************************************************************************************************************  That’s what’s going on in our house this Father’s Day.  How do you celebrate the day in your home?  What are your summer plans for the kids?  Let us know!

More from GEM:

From Good Enough Mother To You.. Happy Father’s Day, Guys!

10 From GEM: 10 Easy Ideas For Father’s Day Fun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUFF!!

Dave Manoucheri is a writer, journalist and musician based in Sacramento, California.  A father of four, two daughters and twin sons, his blog, Our Story Begins is a chronicle of their life after the loss of his wife, Andrea, in March of 2011. Follow him on Twitter @InvProducerMan.

The post Our Story Begins: The Father’s Day (Re)Treat (VIDEO) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Creative Commons/abc michelle xyz

10 From GEM:
10 Cheap and Easy Staycation Ideas

Wouldn’t it be fun to relax on a beach sipping margaritas and getting a two-hour massage? What about strolling along the Seine or even taking the kids on a Disney experience? Let’s face it: going on a dream summer vacation is not always in the budget, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fabulous staycation. Staycations can be a one-of-a-kind experience that doesn’t have to break the bank or take up a lot of time. Keep reading for 10 staycation ideas that save you money and bring vacation fun to you.

1. BRING THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE HOME

Creative Commons/madeaw22

The nicest thing about staying at a hotel is that someone else does all the work for you. Bring that experience home by hiring a service to clean your bedroom and bathroom several times this summer. Buy luxurious sheets and pillowcases to make your bed feel brand new. Have a different meal delivered to your home every day for a week. Do anything that will bring a little hotel novelty to your doorstep.

Read more: Single Mom Slice Of Life: What To Do..In My Own Skin

2. SPRUCE UP THE BACKYARD

Creative Commons/kikiclark

Summer is the prime season for spending a lot of time outdoors. Where better than mere steps from your house? Throw away any junk taking up space. Cut the grass and trim the bushes. Plant beautiful flowers. Buy a new piece of patio furniture. If you like dining al fresco, dedicate a space for it. Get a fire pit to use on cool nights. Add a line of lights to a wall. The idea is to change your point of view and make your backyard a place you want to be.

Read more: Raisin’ in Minnesota: Because It Was Much More Than A Cabin In The Sun….

3. ATTEND A FARMERS MARKET

Creative Commons/F33

Farmers markets are not just a place to buy fruits and vegetables. Many have live entertainment, artisanal foods, ethnic foods, meats, spices, flowers, accessories, jewelry, books, bath scrubs, and arts and crafts. Farmers markets are more ubiquitous now than they’ve ever been, so you’re sure to find one close to home. This sensory treat takes less than a day and you will bring home goodies that will make you feel like you traveled to an exotic location.

Read more: Ask The Good Enough Guy: My Husband Is A Workaholic!

4. TRY GEOCACHING

Creative Commons/FolsomNatural

Geocaching is an outdoor treasure hunt for adults—although your kids can join the fun with you. Players try to find hidden containers (geocaches) using a smartphone or GPS. When you find a geocache, you sign the log left with the marker and share your stories and photos of your adventures online. Players also place geocaches for others to find. Hiking rough terrain is sometimes involved, so you’ll want to be prepared for that. Visit Geocaching to find out more information.

Read more: Celebrating Dad Or Grad? We’ve Got A BuyDig Giveaway For YOU!

5. GROW A SALAD GARDEN

Creative Commons/VicWJ

“Vacation food” is one of the best parts of vacationing, but if you think fresh summer fare can only be found on the road, think again.  Growing salad greens is easy and you don’t need a lot of space—almost any old container will work for growing what you need to make a season of salads. Old wagons, toy shopping carts, galvanized buckets, plastic gutters, and even soup bowls are perfect to repurpose as a moveable feast, and think of all the fun you’ll have coming up with new ways to use your harvest!

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Meals You Can Prepare In 10 Minutes

 6. DO A SIMPLE WEEKEND PROJECT

Creative Commons/Cottilello

You could do something that really needs to get done like painting a room, or you can do something you enjoy like building a birdhouse, quilting, or anything you love. We all have high-interest, low-priority activities. You know, the things we put on the back burner because it’s “not important right now.” The long, lazy days of summer are an excellent time to indulge in simple projects that energize and fulfill.

Read more: PLAY NICE! And 9 More Life Lessons From Disney

7. ORGANIZE A BLOCK PARTY

Creative Commons/andersonzaca

The hardest thing about planning a block party is, well, planning a block party. Once the plans are in place, the party itself goes smoothly. If you decide to organize a block party, do not try to take on everything yourself. Let the Joneses handle the drinks, the Smiths will take care of the barbecue, and the Millers will be responsible for games and activities. Whatever you do, make sure that people have ample opportunity to mix and mingle so everybody can get to know (and love) thy neighbor.

Read more: Eyes Wide Open: 5 Ways To Make a REAL Difference Without Leaving Your ‘Hood!

8. SEE OUTDOOR MOVIES

Creative Commons/Capitol Riverfront BID

Many cities and towns offer movie showings in their parks. This is a fun activity that’s no-hassle for you and will be novel for the kids. If you can’t get to a park that offers movies or there are none in your area, host your own showing in the backyard. Invite a few families over to join in the fun. You don’t need to go overboard on food. Offer drinks and popcorn and maybe a little candy and you’re good to go.

Read more: Single Mom Slice Of Life: The Fool In My Fool-Proof Plan

9. VISIT A WINERY OR VINEYARD

Creative Commons/jasand1980

Winery and vineyard owners are anxious for you to stop by and many plan activities and events in the summer months. If you visit a winery, keep in mind that you’re going for the “wine experience,” not just the wine. Have lunch at the winery or call ahead to see if you can bring a picnic lunch. Engage yourself and learn more about wine. Make the experience more enjoyable for yourself and others by learning and using tasting etiquette if you’re not familiar with it.

Read more: The GEM Debate: Should A Cocktail With Mom And Dad Be The Law?

10. SHAPE UP

Creative Commons/arnoenzerink.com

If you think you don’t like to exercise, a summer staycation is a chance to prove yourself wrong. Well, maybe you really do hate exercise, but you can use this time to discover a physical activity you find bearable. Don’t want to commit to a gym? Look into purchasing a two-week pass to check out that Zumba class your friends keep talking about. Get outside and walk, jog, hike, play tennis or a round of golf. There are many options to explore this summer when it comes to getting fit and healthy.

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Tips To Fit Exercise Into Your Busy Day

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What will you do on your staycation this summer? Share your plans below.

More From GEM:

10 From GEM: Spring Break Edition: 10 Ways To Maximize Your Staycation

Friends, Fun and Food..Is Your Grill Ready For Summer?

Monday Morning Motivation: Trying To Reinvent? The Three Things You MUST Do On The Path To Success

 Alexis Trass Walker lives in Gary, Indiana, with her husband and four children. She is a stay at home mom and writer who loves all things chocolate. Read more about Alexis on her blog lilliebelle.org, email her at alexistrasswalker@gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter @LillieBelle5.

The post 10 From GEM: 10 Cheap and Easy Staycation Ideas appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

The GEM Debate:
Should Dads Step Away From The Desk?

Well here’s an interesting little piece. The Wall Street Journal reports that more and more companies are offering some type of paternity leave for dads to bond with their new family member.

YAY!

But the flip side? Not many are taking advantage of that.

BOO!

And why is that exactly?

According to the article, even though more and more companies (Bank of America, Yahoo, Ernst and Young) are letting dad take time off during those critical first few weeks, perception and fear are getting in the way. Dads it appears (like a lot of moms), worry that others might think less of them if they decide to take the full leave afforded them by these companies.

I call CRAP!

The reason this bothers me so much is that at its core, it’s about placing emphasis where it really shouldn’t be, which is on what other people think (of course, you need look no further than here to know how we feel about this).

All I know is this: Buff took a couple of days off after the births of both Casey and Cole; my mom was also there and truth be told, I could have used more people.

Like a battalion.

Being a new mom is so hard and the thing I remember most was the fatigue, I mean right down to my bones. That’s not something that lets up after a couple of days either.

But that’s not all, wouldn’t this be a great time for dads to REALLY get to know their young ones? They spent nine-months hearing their mother’s voice, listening to the beat of her heart, giving her heartburn (wait, that’s not part of this story)… you get the point. How about special time with dear ol’ dad?

In all seriousness, this is one of those things that only someone on the other end of this can understand. I get it. They think their jobs are paramount but truly, work will always be there. And if you’re in a place that looks down on you for wanting to bond with your kid, shouldn’t that say more about them than you?

I think so.

That’s my take.. what say you? Take the poll and leave a comment!

More from GEM:

Guest Posting: Daddy Doin’ Work: What I Want My Daughters To Know

Celebrating Dad Or Grad? We’ve Got A BuyDig Giveaway For YOU!

Me To Marissa Mayer: Yes, I’ll Take A Job At Yahoo! HQ, Please

The post The GEM Debate: Should Dads Step Away From The Desk? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Guest Posting:
Daddy Doin’ Work: What I Want My Daughters To Know

Hello all! Big thanks to Rene for allowing me to guest post for all of you. I’m the guy behind the blog Daddy Doin’ Work, and I have a beautiful two-year old daughter with another daughter on the way in July. Raising girls in today’s world offers its own unique set of challenges, but if my daughter and her unborn sister can follow these tips, I think they’ll be okay.

Rule #1

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I want them to know that it’s okay to be tough. Don’t get me wrong, being a girly-girl is a cool if that’s what they’re into. However, as a man I’ve always gravitated more towards women who would rather kick the ass of a knight in shining armor than sit around waiting to be saved by him. Play sports, get dirty, learn how to throw a punch, and know how to change a flat tire. When they’re done, they can show the world how great they can look in a fancy dress and heels.

Read more:  How Losing Puts Me On A Winning Path

Rule #2

Creative Commons/deeplifequotes

I want them to institute a zero-tolerance policy for disrespectful men. They need to know that if men ever cheat on them, or physically/emotionally abuse them, it will be the last day they will ever speak to my girls (probably because I’d rip their throats out, but that’s besides the point). Without being cocky, my girls should know that any man should feel lucky to be in a relationship with them, and any major “slip up” like the aforementioned is unforgivable.

Read more:  Guest Posting: Want To Raise Responsible Kids? Try A Little Respect

Rule #3

Creative Commons/I Flickr 4 JOY

I want her to always be confident in her appearance. Although at two years old my daughter is already 3 feet 2 inches tall, I have no clue what she’ll look like when she’s older. A runway model? A female version of Andre the Giant? Something in between? Who knows? I’m always fearful that she’ll fall victim to the societal pressures of what beauty is “supposed to be” (especially living in Los Angeles), but I take comfort in knowing that self-confidence will prevent her from succumbing to those pressures. I don’t care if she’s tall, short, thin, or chubby – I just want her to always look in the mirror and think “I’m beautiful,” because that’s what I will always think of her and her baby sister.

Read more:  To My Daughter: See, Hair’s The Thing..

Rule #4

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I want them to be dreamers and hustlers. You want to be a doctor? Go for it. A sportscaster? Show the boys how it’s done. An entrepreneur? Make it happen. I honestly don’t care what they do, as long as they’re happy, give a 100% effort, and never quit. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. I do adhere to a strict “no pole” rule, which clearly states that my daughters cannot choose a profession that involves poles. This means, no race car driving (pole position), no dancing on poles (stripping), and no inserting flesh “poles” into their body for cash (prostitution and/or pornography). Everything else is fair game.

Read more:  Life Lessons: Erin Williams

Rule #5

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It’s important that they’re nice. Being smart and pretty are great and all, but it’s meaningless unless they have good hearts and care about the needs of others. They need to know that it’s never cool to be a bully, make fun of people, or just be a mean-spirited jackass. I hope they will intrinsically befriend the nerdy kid eating lunch by herself in middle school, hold doors open for people, be good tippers at restaurants, smile often, and love people of all races, religions, and sexual orientations. It’s amazing how far that will go.

Read more:  PLAY NICE! And 9 More Life Lessons From Disney

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Time will tell if my daughters will follow these rules, but I can promise you that it won’t be due to a lack of effort on Daddy’s part.

More from GEM:

Guest Posting: 7 Ways I Got 5 Kids To Make Better Food Choices

Celebrating Dad Or Grad? We’ve Got A BuyDig Giveaway For YOU!

Our Story Begins: Motherless Children (VIDEO)

www.daddydoinwork

Doyin Richards authors the popular Daddy Doin’ Work blog. He can also be found on Twitter and on Facebook.

The post Guest Posting: Daddy Doin’ Work: What I Want My Daughters To Know appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Life Lessons:
Susanna Macomb

Are you happy at the moment?

Yes!  I am very happy. Let’s face it, getting older certainly has its challenges.  I don’t love my wrinkles or the fact that I am no longer a size 6!  However, inwardly I feel more beautiful than I have ever felt in my life.    I know who I am.   I genuinely feel connected to myself, others and the world at large.  Last week, I was at a Starbucks in Manhattan waiting for my macchiato about to head to my office to meet with a couple for a counseling session.   Smiling wide, I was feeling joy and gratitude for no other reason than to be alive.    A young woman in her early twenties—also waiting for her beverage—turned to me and said, “You know, you’re beautiful.  You’re really beautiful.”    She must have felt what I feeling inside.

If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?   

To my insecure, searching, thought-she-was-fat (HA!) 16-year-old self who tried so very hard, I would say:   Take it easy on yourself!  You are more beautiful than you realize now.  You got game.  You are going to have an amazing life that will have sharp twists, turns, ups and downs.  Just follow the innermost promptings of your heart and enjoy the ride.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

That is okay to have more “me” time.   I’ve earned it, da**it!   When I take care of myself, everything else falls in line—including my family and my work.   I use to work, work, work and take care of my family—without having much time for myself.    That’s not cool.   I am glad that I made the change.

What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

-Lose the ten pounds that I gained after I lost them in the first place!

-Complete my new website.

-Book more speaking engagements.

-Perhaps begin a third book…

-A television show would be nice.

What’s your secret to happiness?

Love.  I love my family and friends with all my heart.   I do what I love.  I create with love.  I cook with love.   Shall I go on?

What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

I have practiced meditation for 27 years now.   It is the single best thing I have learned to do.   Attuned to the innermost core of our being, there is clarity and peace.    When life pulls me in every direction, it centers me and helps me become more efficient.

What’s your biggest regret?

-Losing my second pregnancy and not being able to have another child.  I would have loved to have a daughter.

-I wish I began saving for retirement in my teens!

What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

Every moment of our lives we are choosing between love and fear.   Anything good, anything positive or worthy has love in it.  Choose love.

What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

Oh, gosh, I wish I was more organized.   I secretly envy people who are naturally orderly and organized.   How do they do that?!   I do my best, but it is a real effort for me.   Perhaps it’s my creative mind?   Or perhaps that is an excuse…

Aside from motherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

My courage in taking the road less travelled, in taking risks.   I may not have had the most secure life, but it was a very alive life.

When were you happiest?

The happiest time in my life was when I sold my business and became a full-time artist while raising my son and attending interfaith seminary.  It was a magical time of creativity and exploration.   My son grew up with an artist mom who did all sorts of fun things with him—including painting with our feet and making trains out of pancakes.

What ten words best describe you?  

Goofy!  Trustworthy, loyal, loving, warm, spritely, saucey, motivated, creative, spiritual.

Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb is the author of two interfaith books, Joining Hands and Hearts, Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations and Bless This Child, A Comprehensive Guide to Creating Baby Blessing Ceremonies.  She offers interfaith counseling for couples and young families.  She and her work have been featured on CNN, MNSBC, ABC NPR and in The Los Angeles Times, New York Times, New York Magazine, Modern Bride, Martha Stewart, Pregnancy Magazine and other media venues. 

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