The GEM Debate:
Should Single Mothers Be Called THIS?

As Father’s Day wishes rolled in my Facebook status bar Sunday, I knew I would see it.  I knew there’d be some reference to a “single mother” holding it down for the absentee father in her child’s life; and I knew I’d be incensed.

Go with me here.  If you have $100 and someone tells you all you have access to is $50, no matter how you coupon, invest, save, beg, borrow or steal, you are in no way spending that other $50.  That’s what it is like as a single mother.  No matter how many uncles, aunts, teachers, neighbors or family friends Joelle has, I am only her mother.  I do not make up both halves of her parenting team.

Now for clarity’s sake this isn’t about Joelle’s dad.  I don’t mention it much, but they have a relationship and I’m fine with how that goes.  That has to be on them, and if there are holes he is leaving in that relationship, guess what?  I can’t fill them.  I’ll never be the whole $100.  He and I are different people with different backgrounds, experiences, life views, attitudes on discipline, money, goals, etc.  Remember that $100 analogy?  That money is like your paycheck and all the other stuff (male family and friends) are bonuses.  The paycheck makes up what you can expect; the bonus is what falls in your lap.  Every kid deserves 100% of their parents.  I hope that makes sense.

It seems to me that when we are telling single moms of any ilk, whether they be baby mamas, widows, those who were inseminated, that they are doing the role of both mom and dad we are doing two things.  (Oh, and let me state for the record this goes both ways.  I’m sure plenty of single dads hear the same thing.)  We are excusing or belittling the absence of the father and we are saying that being mom isn’t good enough. So do moms who have ever-present dads not need that man because we as the sole parent can play both roles?  We all know that’s not true and not even possible. And if you are telling every freaking baby daddy that a single mother is doing everything he needs to be doing then why the heck would he ever think he needs to stand up and do it?  If I were already on the fence (benefit of the doubt, people) about fatherhood or parenthood and people told me, “Yeah, my mom was mom and dad to me and I turned out okay,” why would I think my child needed the benefit of my presence?  Yes, plenty turn out okay, but most, if not all, have a very special place in their hearts and lives for daddy.  Kids should have the benefit of both sets of DNA contributors present whenever possible.

And let’s not get on how this kind of talk must be affecting the child’s view of that other parent.  Are we leaving room for them to love that dad if mom wants all the spotlight?

That’s just my two cents.  It made me mad and I wanted to see how everyone else felt about it, too.

So tell me how do things run in your household?  Were you the product of divorce without the benefit of both parents?  How did it make you feel?  Let us know!

More from GEM:

Guest Posting: Blended Bliss: 3 Ways To Get Started With A “New” Family 

8 Tips To A Stress-Free Holiday: Blended Family Style!

Single Mom Slice Of Life: The Fool In My Fool-Proof Plan

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  She is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com and in that vain as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing two-year-old and surrogate to a few other, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they are taking the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.  Follow her on Twitter @ellalaverne.

The post The GEM Debate: Should Single Mothers Be Called THIS? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

 Ask Rene:
Why Is My Sister-In-Law So EVIL? 

Hi Rene:

I have been with my husband for seven years, married for four of those. My sister-in-law doesn’t like me and I have no clue why. Admittedly she is better as of about a year now since she found Jesus. Now she doesn’t blatantly disrespect me anymore like she once did, but she won’t talk to me and won’t speak and when we are at a family function, you can cut the tension. 

I used to buy her two boys school clothes and take them places to which she would say to her brothers, “I guess the b*tch wants me to like her.” WHO DOES THAT! By the way, she has no job and their father is absent.

 I am just so over her, her attitude, her rudeness. This woman is 39 with a baby by a nobody and lives with her mom and stepdad in a 2-bedroom apartment.

My husband says he isn’t going to get involved; he says that she is stubborn and I am too, so he doesn’t see a resolution, but if she calls and needs something, he will usually do it; a ride somewhere, the whole food stamp/money exchange so she can get cash, logging into her bank account, cashing her meager child support checks, faxing documents, and applying for jobs online.

I am livid that he can do for her/them, but he can’t demand that they respect me.  I shouldn’t have to “ask” him to help make things right. It makes me question his love/devotion/respect for me OR wonder if he just doesn’t have the balls to stand up for his wife. 

I really want my husband to put me first because I am his family, too.

Signed:

Over The Drama

Dear OTD:

I’ve been writing Ask Rene here for three solid years now, though the  site has been around much longer. There are three types of letters I get more than all the others; they are  a) My daughter is dating a loser, b) My mother-in-law doesn’t like me and c) I hate my sister-in-law. Seriously, I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard this complaint. But here’s the bottom line:  YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE!

Now, having said that, here are a few things you need to remember and what I would do if I were you.

ADMIT YOU ARE
SO NOT OVER IT

“Sometimes being pushed to the wall helps you get over it.”
-Peter de Jager
Creative Commons/Brett Jordan

If you were over it you would not be writing me and I wouldn’t be able to hear/feel the hurt and anger leaping off the page. So admit it; this chaps you and you want your childish sister-in-law to yank that stick out of her fanny and act like an adult. Listen to me: That’s not going to happen.  You can’t make her change and any effort to do that is only going to frustrate you more. Drop that expectation. Okay?

Read more: Our Story Begins: Are You A Mother Or A Martyr?

YOU TEACH PEOPLE
HOW TO TREAT YOU

Dr. Phil says it and do I believe it; I have seen it in real life. If you allow people to treat you like crap they’re going to keep doing it. I know you’re trying to be nice but some people only understand when you pull the bit back in their mouth.

Read more: Rene On TV: Rene And Father Albert, Together Again

YOU DON’T DEMAND RESPECT
YOU EARN IT

Creative Commons/Robby Virus

And you can’t get people like your husband, to get it for you. There is no correlation between being nice and respect either. If you want to help out her kids, buy the clothes and let your husband give them to her, but no more from you directly. This is a classic case of “kindness for weakness”; the nicer you are to your sister-in-law, the more she walks all over you. So…..

Read more:  The 4 Reasons Michael Strahan And I Will Never Stay In Our Lane (VIDEO) 

STOP BEING
A DOOR MAT

Creative Commons/Kokabella

Time for you to take action. What that looks like in real life is this: be civil but don’t go out of your way. Say “hi” and keep it moving. The next time she says something rude, do NOT even respond; simply walk away. Any reaction on your part is reinforcement for her. She knows what she does bothers you which is why she keeps doing it. Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing this bugs you, even if it does.

Read more: Why Reinvention ROCKS!
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Now I have to be really blunt about this: You are going to have to grow up. Yes, you. Is it fair that you be the only adult in the relationship? No, but yours is the only behavior you have control over. Your sister-in-law is an emotional terrorist who is holding you hostage. Don’t let her.

Good luck!

Do you have a question for Rene? She has an answer. Click here and fire away. And don’t forget to follow the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

More from GEM:

Monday Morning Motivation: The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen

Tandem Tantrums: To “Get Old”: What It Means To Laila Ali And Me

The GEM Debate: To Botox – Or Not To Botox?

The post Ask Rene: Why Is My Sister-In-Law So EVIL? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Life Lessons:
Allen Klein

Are you happy at the moment?

I am extremely happy due to great friends, family, spouse, my spiritual community and my right livelihood. I also believe that we can all be happy, no matter what. Things are the way they are; our attitude towards those things is what makes us happy or unhappy.

If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

Lighten up and trust. All will work out. It always does and always will.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

What you give to the world, the world gives back to you. Yell at someone, they probably will yell back. Smile at someone and they will probably smile back.

What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

To finish the proposal for my next book, to get it to the New York agent who was interested in it, and to have it sold to a major publishing house.

What’s your secret to happiness?

Enjoy what you do and use the gifts that were given to you. I think that one of the worst things someone can do is not use their talents. We were all given talents of different kinds. They are meant to share with others.

What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

Being connected to my spiritual home which is Unity of San Francisco. And knowing that I create my own story and choose my own reality.

What’s your biggest regret?

I don’t have many regrets. There is one, however, that I wish I had responded to differently. I once flew across country with the Academy Award winning actor, Jose Ferrer, sitting next to me. At the end of the flight, he gave me his card and asked me to call him so we could go to dinner together. I was intimidated and never called.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

To follow your bliss and not let anyone tell you that you can’t do something that you truly want to do.

What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

Judging people by their looks even before I get to know them.

Aside from fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of having taken the death of my wife and turned it around. Because of her great sense of humor, I now teach people, through my books and my keynote speeches how to find humor in their not-so-funny stuff.

When were you happiest?

It’s not “were”, I still am. But I still fondly think of one memory from my childhood. It was when I had a big metal moving truck toy. I would load and unload my other toys in it and ride up and down the hallway for many happy hours.

What ten words best describe you?

Loving, light, healer, fun, joyous, grateful, caring, kind, wise, spiritual.

The post Life Lessons: Allen Klein appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

The GEM Debate:
Start A Protest Or Start A Project?

I’m not sure where we got off track, but let’s right this thang, shall we?

Today I came across an article about Victoria’s Secret.  The store is being protested because the lingerie empire has a cap on their cup sizes.  Being a gal with special bra needs since that fateful day in fourth grade when I “developed” breasts early, I’ve always had problems with Victoria’s Secret.  Yet, I’ve never had to go au natural because the store doesn’t provide my size.

You see, if you are really smart or just happen to know where a JC Penney or a Target store is, or even a Bergdorf Goodman, Lane Bryant or a Macy’s, you are pretty much guaranteed to find various sizes of brassieres and other things that will entice a man or just make you feel pretty.  And if you are completely outraged and follow the teachings of GEM (found here, here, and here) you will get off your duff and build something!

Yes, I said it.  This is America and no one store has to cater to all of us.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Not every cosmetic counter houses the best stuff for your skin, but Proactive seems to be doing just fine serving that market.  Why are people protesting instead of realizing there is now a new niche to be served?  If you have enough umph! to find signatures for a petition and enough people for a protest then you might have the makings of an idea whose time has come.  Victoria has been telling this Secret for years, maybe it’s time someone else gets the scoop.

My vision is this post change the view of one or two protestors who know that this is a new age and that the consumer is really in the driver’s seat.  There are plenty of people who can design a line of lingerie, pajamas, and cool fragrances.  If all the people protesting would form an LLC, apply for angel investing or a Kickstarter they might just put a few Ella’s Secrets (hey, it was my idea) into the market and see that they could build in construction and profits.  I know I’m oversimplifying, but am I really?  People are writing their own destinies with some hard, impossible work every day (see Rene and Ella); it can be done.

So what are you thinking?  This chick has no idea, stores need to be more inclusive?  Or are you like me – trying to figure out where you could get the capital to do the market research and designing “Ella’s Secret” fonts and brand colors in your head?  Let me know!

More from GEM:

Monday Morning Motivation: If You Build It (WELL), They Will Come

PLAY NICE! And 9 More Life Lessons From Disney

Welfare: There But For The Grace Of Jobs Go YOU

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  She is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com and in that vain as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing two-year-old and surrogate to a few other, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they are taking the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.  Follow her on Twitter @ellalaverne.

The post The GEM Debate: Start A Protest Or Start A Project? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

We Have A Winner!
A Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 From BuyDig Goes To…

Before we get to that, I just wanted to let you know that we are all winners.  BuyDig.com is offering a $10 savings on the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 exclusively for GEM’s readers, followers, and friends.  Just use the code GEMTABLET10 at checkout to receive your discount! Valid today thru June 30, 2013.

So you’ve tweeted, you’ve commented, you’ve signed up for the BuyDig.com email and all your hard work has paid off!  We have a winner.  Keri C. has won the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2!  Thanks to everyone who participated and got the word out.

The Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 has a stunning  7-inch Touch Display, Front and Rear Facing Cameras, 8GB Internal Memory w/ micro SD Slot, WiFi, Bluetooth, GPS, and much more!

We’d like to thank BuyDig for extending this prize to our GEMs.  Watch this space for more information, deals, and winning from BuyDig.com.

More from GEM:

Friends, Fun and Food..Is Your Grill Ready For Summer?

Spring And Allergies: 3 Ways To Breathe Easier

Teens And Technology: Are You Fostering A Learning Environment?

The post We Have A Winner! A Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 From BuyDig Goes To… appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Guest Posting:
All The World’s A Stage (Manager)

(Note from Rene:  I worked with Kim Miller for years back when I had that big gig at CBS. A consumate professional, we had some great times traveling the country and experiencing assignments ranging from the ramp up of the Gulf War to air shows in Ohio).

Hello, I’m Kimberly and it’s been about three years since I’ve had steady employment. When I did have a full-time gig it was, for many years, as a television stage manager, where I worked with Rene and many others.

But like I said, that’s been a while so I’m starting to think of other things I can do to make a living, you know, try out some different options.

Hmm..

How about a dentist? Come on in and get comfortable in the chair while I figure out what all these nice, shiny instruments do.  I’ll have you out of here in no time, what’s left of your teeth gleaming like the noontime sun!  No, that would never go over.

How about this one? My name is Kim and today I’ll be your pilot today. And why not? I have logged many, many hours in the air; as a network TV stage manager I was sent literally all over the world for very cool and interesting gigs. What? Oh, you mean hours flying a plane?  Well, no, I’ve never actually flown one but I’ve seen all the Airport and Airplane movies and I’m sure I could do a better job than Charlton Heston or Leslie Nielson.  So, where shall we go?

Oh.. No dice?

Think, Miller, think. What do you do well?  You can control large groups of people. You could be… an usher at Yankee Stadium!  A traffic cop!  An extra’s wrangler for Cecil B. DeMille movies!  Huh?  Dead?  Really?  Well, somebody must be still making those epic, Biblical films. Mel Gibson? Um. Never mind.

How about a PROCTOLOGIST?!

Hi, I’m Kim and today I’ll be filling in for your regular doctor.  I think all I have to do is say, “assume the position” and then….  What?  Why the heck not?  My, my we’re a skittish prude aren’t we? Your loss, buddy

Come on, kid!  Think!  What else do you do well?  You tell celebrities where to go, don’t you?  Or, at least, you did. With all that experience you could get a job as, maybe, the receptionist for a dermatologist on Rodeo Drive? The recreation director at a rehab clinic? A bouncer for the back room at Spago! No, I’m just not perky, sedate or burly enough to do any of those jobs. But I am very smart. I could do just about anything I set my mind to.

Alright, time to get serious; I really do need a job!  So let’s try this:

Hi, I’m Kim and I’m the stage manager. Welcome to our studio. Thank you so much for visiting with us today. Coffee?  Sure, I can ask the stagehands to transfer your green room coffee into a show cup. That way you can keep it for the interview. Our host will be right in. Why don’t you have a seat and make yourself at home? Here we go, stand by please. Yada, yada, yada. Wow, that was really great. I’ll be sure to take my kids to see your new movie this weekend!  Thanks again for coming in today.  Okay, crew, take a ten-minute break and when we come back we’ll do some promos.

You know, promos, like the one you just read.

Peep the pics from more than two decades in TV!

LL Cool J 

Tom Selleck

Jesse Jackson 

Soupy Sales

Strawberry Shortcake

Bill Boggs and Dizzy Gillespie 

Carroll O’Connor

Silly Kim Miller

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Kimberly Miller is a TV stage manager with more than 20 years of experience working on news, sports and entertainment programming. She thinks the television industry is a decent place to earn a living but she knows that jobs don’t define people. Kim is REALLY a mom, a girlfriend, a writer and one heck of a club DJ and softball player. She’d love to add bacon-earner back to that list.

The post Guest Posting: All The World’s A Stage (Manager) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Monday Morning Motivation:
The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen (PODCAST) 

Hi guys and happy Monday!

As you know, I travel quite a bit, taping various TV shows (Sweet Retreats and Exhale on Aspire) which means I meet some of the most interesting people. Most recently, I had a chance to spend time with Mike and Michelle Fink.

Mike and Michelle live in Lexington, Kentucky; we first met them when we were filming down there with another couple and it was one of their properties the couple was looking at as a Sweet Retreats possibility (you can see the episode here). They were so great we thought, “We gotta cast them for the show.”

Mike is a cattleman/business consultant who’s been married to his better half for nearly 30 years. He says what he thinks and thinks what he says, something woefully short in supply, in business and in life.

So in the time we were together, he kept dropping these nuggets on me and I would scurry to write them down (and I am ALWAYS writing). But so much of what he said made perfect sense that I wanted to share it with you as you get your work week started.

So for today’s Monday Morning Motivation.. here are The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen  with my own interpretation (Disclaimer: There are actually five because, well, math is not my strong suit).

Pop in your earbuds and enjoy!

Again, catch Mike and Michelle on Sweet Retreats, Kentucky here and I’ll put link on the page and then check them out in a couple of weeks when we air Sweet Retreats, Boston.

Until then, remember you don’t have to be perfect.. just good enough!

More from GEM:

Monday Morning Motivation: 5 Signs It’a Time For A Career Change

Monday Morning Motivation: Go At Your Own Pace!

Monday Morning Motivation: The Butterfly’s Struggle

The post Monday Morning Motivation: The Rancher’s Dirty (Half) Dozen (PODCAST) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Happy Birthday Cole!

Today is a really big day for me. Well I guess not as big for me as it is for my son, Cole, who turns 15 today.

Honestly I can’t believe it; that little guy who took his time getting here (though more prompt than his sister) and has been setting his own agenda ever since. 

It’s funny, when I was pregnant with Casey I thought for sure we were having a boy (I did not find out the sex of either child). But in all, nearly 40 weeks with Cole, I had no idea if he was a boy or a girl. He surprised us totally… something he’s been doing ever since.

So here are 15 things I’ve learned raising this boy (so far).

BE LOYAL

This was Night-night bear, Cole’s favorite friend in his early days. He loved Night-night right up until he met his untimely demise along a lonely stretch of Florida highway. Cole was insistant that we go back over that highway several times after Night-night escaped from the convertible where Cole, against his better judgment, was throwing him into the air as the car traveled at 55 miles per hour. That bear has now been replaced by friends and family to whom is he also fiercely loyal.

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BE LOVING

One of the things I love about Cole is the easy relationship he has with his sister, Casey. It’s obvious they care deeply for each other, sometimes walking in sync, one loosely holding he other’s hand. As a parent, that’s very comforting to know they’ll be there for each other, even after we’re gone.

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BE KIND

One of the coolest things I see in Cole is his tender heart, especially for animals. Unfortunately that extended to the box turtle we found living in the bottom of our pool after we drained it at winter’s end. No, we did not keep it.

Read more: The GEM Debate: Should Dads Step Away From The Desk?

HUMOR WILL SAVE YOU

I’d like to think he got it from me, but wherever it came from, it’s an assest. Laughter (and the ability to laugh at oneself) will take him far in life.

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A GENUINE SMILE
WILL GET YOU PLACES…

Cole’s motto? They’re free so go ahead and give them away.

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….SO WILL A ZEST FOR LIFE

 This is one of those things I hope Cole always retains. When life gets tough, remembering the good will get you through the bad.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: Trying To Reinvent? The Three Things You MUST Do On The Path To Success

GO HARD OR GO HOME

I really, REALLY love this picture. Buff and Cole traveled to Portland, OR to take part in the Nike Young Athlete Innovation Summit (I was at Disney so couldn’t accompany him). Before they left, I told Cole that dad had never been on a blogger campaign so he had to be the one to show him how it was done; taking pictures, learning, giving it your all. That’s just what he did.

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PURSUE A PASSION

Cole is a musician, and a damn good one. Some of it comes naturally; some of it is just plain ol’ gettin’ in there and practicing. It’s paying off too, which means I’ll be able to recoup some of the money we spent on lessons.

I hope.

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…EVEN IF IT’S CARBS

I have NEVER seen someone enjoy food more. Good, cheap food in copious quantities. You know that whole, “eat you out of house and home” thing? Yeah. That.

10 From GEM: 10 Cheap And Easy Staycation Ideas

DON’T FAKE THE FUNK

There are people in this world who can tell you exactly how you feel without saying a world; it shows on their face. Good, bad or indifferent, that is my son.

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BE DOGGEDLY
DETERMINED

Again, another part of Cole I love. Except when he’s determined to find a way out of homework or household chores.

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BE FLEXIBLE

Cole’s birthday was yesterday. This piece is going up today. I hate that I have been so busy I couldn’t get it up on his actual birthday and told him so. He said, “It’s okay, mom.” While he is singularly focused on many tings, there’s also a very easy-going quality to him.

Read more: Good Enough Mother: How I Hit The Brink And Made My Way Back

BE PRESENT

Cole lives in the moment and that’s good and bad. Bad because getting him to plan is like Mostly good though..

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BE ACCEPTING

Cole is not only accepting of people but also of situations that he can’t really do much about. Like getting trapped in a sudden rain at Disney’s Epcot. What a you gonna do? Throw a paper over your head and make the most of it.

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BE YOU

But this….. THIS is the awesome-sauce that is Cole. He is who he is. He doesn’t try to change and makes no bones about it. You like him or you don’t and if you don’t, well that’s okay by him too. I wish I could bottle that up and sell it.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: The Career Block And Tackle And Why You MUST Do It!

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That’s what I’ve learned so far.. and so far, it’s been a pretty wild ride. I love this kid for those reasons and so much more. Looking forward to the next 15 years..

I think.

Love you Cole!

More from GEM:

Who Are You? 5 Reasons You Need A Personal Brand

Hey Mom! How ‘Bout You Just.Say.No?

Ask Rene: I’m Worried My Husband Has Cancer

The post Happy Birthday Cole! 15 Things I Learned Raising This Boy (So Far) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Our Story Begins:
The Father’s Day (Re)Treat (VIDEO)

You might expect that Father’s Day is important in my house, being the sole parent of four pretty amazing children.

Sure…you’d be right.  But I don’t have massive expectations of the day.  In fact, this year is quite different.  Three of my kids are on their annual pilgrimage to visit their grandparents for the summer.  It’s a process that we undertake every year so that I can continue to work and so that the kids have a summer that’s more vacation and adventure than two months of missing their father.

This also gives me a chance to reconnect, one-on-one, to my college-bound daughter.  This Father’s Day I introduce you to my children and show you why it’s been a year of major changes already…but we’re doing just fine.

Click here to view the embedded video.

**********************************************************************************************************************************  That’s what’s going on in our house this Father’s Day.  How do you celebrate the day in your home?  What are your summer plans for the kids?  Let us know!

More from GEM:

From Good Enough Mother To You.. Happy Father’s Day, Guys!

10 From GEM: 10 Easy Ideas For Father’s Day Fun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUFF!!

Dave Manoucheri is a writer, journalist and musician based in Sacramento, California.  A father of four, two daughters and twin sons, his blog, Our Story Begins is a chronicle of their life after the loss of his wife, Andrea, in March of 2011. Follow him on Twitter @InvProducerMan.

The post Our Story Begins: The Father’s Day (Re)Treat (VIDEO) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Creative Commons/abc michelle xyz

10 From GEM:
10 Cheap and Easy Staycation Ideas

Wouldn’t it be fun to relax on a beach sipping margaritas and getting a two-hour massage? What about strolling along the Seine or even taking the kids on a Disney experience? Let’s face it: going on a dream summer vacation is not always in the budget, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fabulous staycation. Staycations can be a one-of-a-kind experience that doesn’t have to break the bank or take up a lot of time. Keep reading for 10 staycation ideas that save you money and bring vacation fun to you.

1. BRING THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE HOME

Creative Commons/madeaw22

The nicest thing about staying at a hotel is that someone else does all the work for you. Bring that experience home by hiring a service to clean your bedroom and bathroom several times this summer. Buy luxurious sheets and pillowcases to make your bed feel brand new. Have a different meal delivered to your home every day for a week. Do anything that will bring a little hotel novelty to your doorstep.

Read more: Single Mom Slice Of Life: What To Do..In My Own Skin

2. SPRUCE UP THE BACKYARD

Creative Commons/kikiclark

Summer is the prime season for spending a lot of time outdoors. Where better than mere steps from your house? Throw away any junk taking up space. Cut the grass and trim the bushes. Plant beautiful flowers. Buy a new piece of patio furniture. If you like dining al fresco, dedicate a space for it. Get a fire pit to use on cool nights. Add a line of lights to a wall. The idea is to change your point of view and make your backyard a place you want to be.

Read more: Raisin’ in Minnesota: Because It Was Much More Than A Cabin In The Sun….

3. ATTEND A FARMERS MARKET

Creative Commons/F33

Farmers markets are not just a place to buy fruits and vegetables. Many have live entertainment, artisanal foods, ethnic foods, meats, spices, flowers, accessories, jewelry, books, bath scrubs, and arts and crafts. Farmers markets are more ubiquitous now than they’ve ever been, so you’re sure to find one close to home. This sensory treat takes less than a day and you will bring home goodies that will make you feel like you traveled to an exotic location.

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4. TRY GEOCACHING

Creative Commons/FolsomNatural

Geocaching is an outdoor treasure hunt for adults—although your kids can join the fun with you. Players try to find hidden containers (geocaches) using a smartphone or GPS. When you find a geocache, you sign the log left with the marker and share your stories and photos of your adventures online. Players also place geocaches for others to find. Hiking rough terrain is sometimes involved, so you’ll want to be prepared for that. Visit Geocaching to find out more information.

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5. GROW A SALAD GARDEN

Creative Commons/VicWJ

“Vacation food” is one of the best parts of vacationing, but if you think fresh summer fare can only be found on the road, think again.  Growing salad greens is easy and you don’t need a lot of space—almost any old container will work for growing what you need to make a season of salads. Old wagons, toy shopping carts, galvanized buckets, plastic gutters, and even soup bowls are perfect to repurpose as a moveable feast, and think of all the fun you’ll have coming up with new ways to use your harvest!

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Meals You Can Prepare In 10 Minutes

 6. DO A SIMPLE WEEKEND PROJECT

Creative Commons/Cottilello

You could do something that really needs to get done like painting a room, or you can do something you enjoy like building a birdhouse, quilting, or anything you love. We all have high-interest, low-priority activities. You know, the things we put on the back burner because it’s “not important right now.” The long, lazy days of summer are an excellent time to indulge in simple projects that energize and fulfill.

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7. ORGANIZE A BLOCK PARTY

Creative Commons/andersonzaca

The hardest thing about planning a block party is, well, planning a block party. Once the plans are in place, the party itself goes smoothly. If you decide to organize a block party, do not try to take on everything yourself. Let the Joneses handle the drinks, the Smiths will take care of the barbecue, and the Millers will be responsible for games and activities. Whatever you do, make sure that people have ample opportunity to mix and mingle so everybody can get to know (and love) thy neighbor.

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8. SEE OUTDOOR MOVIES

Creative Commons/Capitol Riverfront BID

Many cities and towns offer movie showings in their parks. This is a fun activity that’s no-hassle for you and will be novel for the kids. If you can’t get to a park that offers movies or there are none in your area, host your own showing in the backyard. Invite a few families over to join in the fun. You don’t need to go overboard on food. Offer drinks and popcorn and maybe a little candy and you’re good to go.

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9. VISIT A WINERY OR VINEYARD

Creative Commons/jasand1980

Winery and vineyard owners are anxious for you to stop by and many plan activities and events in the summer months. If you visit a winery, keep in mind that you’re going for the “wine experience,” not just the wine. Have lunch at the winery or call ahead to see if you can bring a picnic lunch. Engage yourself and learn more about wine. Make the experience more enjoyable for yourself and others by learning and using tasting etiquette if you’re not familiar with it.

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10. SHAPE UP

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If you think you don’t like to exercise, a summer staycation is a chance to prove yourself wrong. Well, maybe you really do hate exercise, but you can use this time to discover a physical activity you find bearable. Don’t want to commit to a gym? Look into purchasing a two-week pass to check out that Zumba class your friends keep talking about. Get outside and walk, jog, hike, play tennis or a round of golf. There are many options to explore this summer when it comes to getting fit and healthy.

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Tips To Fit Exercise Into Your Busy Day

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What will you do on your staycation this summer? Share your plans below.

More From GEM:

10 From GEM: Spring Break Edition: 10 Ways To Maximize Your Staycation

Friends, Fun and Food..Is Your Grill Ready For Summer?

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 Alexis Trass Walker lives in Gary, Indiana, with her husband and four children. She is a stay at home mom and writer who loves all things chocolate. Read more about Alexis on her blog lilliebelle.org, email her at alexistrasswalker@gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter @LillieBelle5.

The post 10 From GEM: 10 Cheap and Easy Staycation Ideas appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.