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Raising Gaybies: Happy Birthday To Me?

Raising Gaybies:
Happy Birthday To Me? 

 

Gravity – work with me!

My ass is going to scrape the ground in a year. I am almost 50.

This weekend, I cleaned out my closet.

Nope, being gay and a stay-at-home dad doesn’t mean my closet is the wardrobe of Elton John… in fact it’s more like Frodo Baggins.

Related: Raising Gaybies: Out Of The Closet And Into Full-Time Fatherhood

Want to get depressed on a Sunday, try on a pair of jeans that ends in an even number. They won’t fit – unless the number is 34 or greater.

My garment collection are dozens of long sleeve shirts, 1 pair of sneakers, and 1 pair of Lululemon sweat pants.

Why is it I like wrapping myself in a fluffy blanket of clothes instead of a tapestry of high end fabric? Why do I reject the homosexual and metrosexual look for the fashion persona of a snuggie?

A few months ago my doctor did an scan of my spine because my back was hurting. He said it all looks good but by bones looks like that of an old man.

Related: Ask Rene: Is My Son Gay?

Yesterday, I was going to run at the gym, and as I got off the toilet (TMI?), I hurt my back. Really! Can’t even poop without a back injury! I spent part of the afternoon in a hot bath and a large dose of Advil.

In a week, I am going skiing.  That’s the only time I bought new clothes for myself in years. Lucky me, I get to wear them 3 days a year. I look fabulous – but you know what happens on day 4?  I start wondering if I washed my sweatpants.

Happy birthday to me. Ugh.

What about you? Are the birthdays finally catching up to you? How do you feel about that? 

 

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