Ask Rene: I Was Invited To A “Divorce Fundraiser”.. Now What? (VIDEO)

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 Ask Rene:
I Was Invited To A “Divorce Fundraiser”.. Now What? (VIDEO)


Rene, help me out because I’m really disgusted. I was invited to a fundraiser—a term I’m using loosely here—to benefit an acquaintance going through a divorce. The fundraiser is supposed to be an auction of the woman’s personal belongings and those of her friends who wish to donate to the cause. From what I understand, the divorce proceedings are very nasty. The husband has more money and power than she and is using that to his advantage. I know this is a difficult time for her and her children, but I’m really turned off by being invited to such an affair. I will not be attending or giving a donation, but I would like to hear your thoughts.

Signed: Disgusted in Denver

Dead DiD:

Bitter party of one?

Remember that scene-stealing tantrum by Angela Bassett’s character in the movie, Waiting to Exhale? Yeah.. this.

I know that’s Hollywood but what you are describing here sounds like a real life (and somewhat tamer) version of the above. Okay so here’s what I think of this whole, sordid affair and what I would do if I were you.
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THE WHOLE IDEA
SOUNDS JUVENILE

Conflict between a friends

Remember in high school when you had a fight with your friend and it was bad enough for you to end the relationship? What came next? The old Divide and Conquer. The friends you once shared now become pawns in a crazy game of  “Who Got More?” or “Who’s Better Liked?” It’s stupid and juvenile. This is real life and that means everyone involved needs to be real grown-ups.

Read more: Ask Rene: The Break-Up Blame Game

THIS CREATES
COLLATERAL DAMAGE

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When I read your letter the first thing I thought of was the kids. Divorce is hard on all parties anyway; can you imagine if there are children involved who could possibly be subjected to the teasing of their peers? This “fundraiser” could have far-reaching implications for the health and welfare of those children. It’s feels selfish and short-sighted.

Read more: Better Not Bitter: Parenting After Divorce.. Be A She-ro, Hero or Zero

THE SOON-TO-BE-EX
IS NOT HELPING HERSELF

Portrait of tired or annoyed woman holding her head

No one likes a Bitter Bob or a Bitter Betty. One of the big things I’ve learned over the years is that you always rest easier when you take the high road. That means if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. You will look better and above all, FEEL better in the long run anyway. It would behoove your acquaintance to talk to a therapist, priest, best friend or scream into her pillow.. but for everything else? Zip it.

Read more: Monday Morning Motivation: There Is No Easy Way! 4 Reasons You Should Stop Looking For One

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As for you and how to react to this I would say two things: run far and run fast. Yo so do not need to be involved in a brewing, bitter fight, especially since these are not even people you know well. And very DEFINITELY don’t donate any money to the cause.

That’s my advice; what say you GEMnation? What would you tell Disgusted in Denver? Have you ever heard of anything like this before?

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Rene Syler is a wife, mother, breast cancer advocate and television personality whose burning desire to tell the truth about modern motherhood led her to create GoodEnoughMother.com . When not spending time with her family or burning something for dinner, Rene travels the country as host of Sweet Retreats on The Live Well Network and Exhale on Aspire.

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