Okay, Rene, I know you’ve seen and heard it all, but I really need your advice. I don’t know how to feel or what I should do. My son—my only child—is married to “Ann.” They don’t have any children and, according to both of them, that is by choice. I was disappointed to find out that there would be no grandchildren, but I understood. But, as it turns out, I’m going to be a grandmother anyway; my son had an affair and the other woman is going to have a baby this winter. Ann is devastated, of course, and although she and my son are still married (but legally separated), I don’t know what they ultimately will do. I feel terrible about my son’s actions and I feel even worse for Ann. I love her dearly and I feel an allegiance to her, but at the same time, I’m very excited about my grandchild. I feel bad for feeling excited given the circumstances. How should I proceed?
Excited (But Confused)
Dear Exited (But Confused)
Hmm, well the first thing I’ll say is what I tell myself when I’m in a sticky situation (though I can honestly say I’ve never been in one THIS sticky); this has happened before. The next thing I tell myself is that I will survive. You will too, thought there may be some very uncomfortable moments. I have never been in your shoes so I can only imagine what you are going through but I can guess. So here’s what I would do if I were you.