Ever since I was seven-years-old, I’ve been helping take care of my mom. She was practically trying to raise two kids on her own, so she taught me how to clean, do laundry, and cook at such an early age. I always thought of it as me being a helper around the house.
Now that I’m older (mid-twenties), I’m still at my mom’s beck and call. I would even come back to the house to help her out when hanging out with a friend. My friendships started to dwindle, and my relationships started to fail, because they all felt that she wasn’t allowing me to live my life the way I wanted to. When I managed to get out of debt, she would find ways to put herself in trouble with money to the point of where bills were way past deadlines, and I would have to pay them, or something was needed for the house. It ended up putting me in debt all over again, and unable to move out on my own. She has requested that I practically hand over all of my paychecks seeing as I’m underneath her roof, because she “needs help.” However, she will spend $500.00 on an entire thing of yarn (no joke).
I have been physically and verbally abused by her, and I’m at a loss of what exactly to do. If I don’t tell her everything about my day, or what is going on in my life, she gets extremely dramatic, and says that I’m “always disconnecting from her, and she wishes I was never born because I’m disrespectful.”
I’m so confused as to why this is happening. Any advice on what to do?
Overworked in Omaha
I can tell that, even though you’re conflicted, you really love your mother. I guess the part that bothers me about this is that, at least as you have described, your mother doesn’t seem to have a daughter as much as an indentured servant and that’s just not right. And under NO circumstance, should you stay in a place or situation where you are being abused. So here’s what I would do if I were you.