I’ve got a doozy for you. One of my daughter’s friends is a girl I like very much. I have known Allison since she and Stacy became friends in the 2nd grade (they’re in high school now).
I was tooling around on Facebook the other day and was stunned by the photos Allison had posted of herself. Of course, the usual “duck lips” type didn’t worry me as much as those of her holding beer bottles and pushing her cleavage up; there was even one of her kissing another girl. Needless to say, this is not the Allison I thought I knew.
What terrifies me though, is I saw Stacy in some of those photos. She wasn’t doing anything inappropriate (and wasn’t drinking, as far as I could tell) but she was in the background.
I know Allison’s mother casually and judging by the conversations I’ve had with her, she does not seem to be aware of her daughter’s behavior.
Needless to say, the photos are giving me serious pause about letting my daughter hang out with Allison. I’m worried putting my foot down about this will break Stacy’s heart, but I’m more concerned about someone who appears to be a bad influence.
Should I worry about my daughter’s friend? Should I tell her mother? What should I say to mu daughter? Or do I just butt out?
Mortified Mom in Michigan
Should you be worried? I would say yes, not so much about Allison (that’s her parents’ job), but about your own daughter. While we know we can’t pick their friends for them, we can, and should, explain the nuance of certain situations and the possible long-term effect. That’s a whole lot of fancy talk for this basic answer: Yes, you need to be concerned. Here’s what I would do if I were you.