Ella Rucker, Part Deux
Are you happy at the moment?
Of course! I’ve survived a lot of turmoil in the last 40 years. I’m happy to have woken up with my loved ones, in my right mind, with my sense of humor, gratitude, and it-can-be-worse and it-can-be-better attitude in tact.
If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?
You deserve everything you can dream. When you put your dreams on paper you do so much better. Don’t ever apologize for being who you are.
What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?
A closed mouth does not get fed. I’ve taken the chances I wouldn’t have even considered a year ago to make sure people know I’m available. I’m no longer afraid of what others have to say. We’ve all needed help. Ask.
What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?
In the next twelve months I want to be able to answer my phone worry-free. I want to pay my bills and to achieve that I need to be Rene’s right and left hand, I need to expand my freelance business, and I need to build my brand. I need to forget the meaning of the word “downtime.” I need to give more.
What’s your secret to happiness?
My secret to happiness is really knowing that now is a gift. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but I need to appreciate each and every moment and opportunity. There’s no time for anything but happiness.
What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?
Right now I have a sort of mantra going. I watched Joel Osteen once and he said that God wants us to have a whole field and more. He meant that as far as you can see is what you can have. So when I want to get back to center I visualize the vastness of an open field, the ocean, the sky and a silo shaken and pressed down. I will have the things that fill those spaces and more.
What’s your biggest regret?
Recently a Life Lessons subject, Lois Grimm, said it best. It boils down to fear. Whenever I was afraid I wasn’t Good Enough to have something I shrank away from it. It has led to some horrible decisions. I try to identify that feeling now and think “what would I do if I were fearless?” and then operate from there.
What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?
Since Joelle is only two-and-a-half years old, I’m still teaching so many different lessons, but the most important is probably adaptability. Things change all the time. You have to be ready for the good and the bad knowing that at any moment it can change again.
What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?
My bad habit is not making time to take care of my health as of late. I habitually put that on the back burner, but hopefully that will change.
Aside from motherhood/fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?
I so want to cheat and see what I said last time, but I’m most proud of being able to give no matter where I was in my life. I’m proudest of my faith in God that I’m doing the right thing for me and who He made me to be. Other people don’t understand that, but I’m learning it doesn’t really matter. I have to be me and I’m proud that I’m finally getting that.
When were you happiest?
Every day I do something that makes me feel awesome. I don’t remember every moment, but I’m happiest when I’m yelling at myself in the mirror that I did a great job. This includes every moment of being Joelle’s mother.
What ten words best describe you?
Ready, awesome, multidimensional, giving, visualizer, believer, optimist, right-hand, funny, Ella.
Ella Rucker is the mother of one of the smartest, funniest two-year-olds she’s ever met. She is currently assistant to the head GEM which means hats-a-plenty including writing, editing, and producing for Good Enough Mother. An Ohio native implanted in NYC for the last 13 years, Ella has achieved one of her many dreams by writing. Her musings (she’s amused they’d be called “musings”) can be found at other places on the web so make sure you follow her on twitter @ellalaverne for all the information.