Tandem Tantrums: Parenting Wins And Losses

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Tandem Tantrums: Parenting Wins And Losses

By Ella Rucker / September 22, 2012 / No Comments

Tandem Tantrums: Parenting Wins And Losses.

I’m doing this all wrong, but it’s for the right reasons. It’s approaching midnight and my two-year-old wants a snack. Joelle didn’t wake up to ask; she’s still up. And even though the last two nights she’s gone to bed earlier, it wasn’t early by conventional standards.

She doesn’t know how late it is and I’m self-flagellating for it, but there is a bigger picture, and this is one where I think some of us, as parents, get stuck. We lose sight of the goal because we’re too focused on minutia.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a sleep schedule is minutia; I’m just saying we are working at getting there. But right now, our lives are in flux and I am doing the best I can.

I’m with hockey great Wayne Gretzky who says we’ll miss 100% of the shots we never take which is why I keep lining ‘em up and taking aim. So I may have had a sleep #fail this week, there are some places I managed to hit it out of the park.

PARENTING WIN #1:
DAY AT THE ZOO

Rene called and gave me the day off! So it was off to the zoo for me and my little one, sans emails, phone calls, and stress. Of course, she fell asleep as we were entering the park, which is Toddler 101. But she saw cool animals and said, “Wow” a lot when she woke up. You can’t beat your first trip to the zoo, no matter how lost you get.

PARENTING WIN #2
FOOD FOR THOUGHT

This is Joelle eating in our room. Looks responsible, doesn’t she? This goes in the “win” column because until this point, I’ve had to put her in her high chair and let her eat in front of the TV. Of course that means the meal is served with a heaping side dish of “mommy guilt” because it’s like a little prison for her. Now I know she can sit still and eat, it might be time to graduate from the high chair to the big table.

PARENTING WIN #3
LEARNING TO PUNT

This was the day after I wrote that piece about Joelle’s dad that was so deep it gave me nightmares and caused a 24-hour fight with him. The next day, Joelle’s daycare shut down unexpectedly which meant my whole work day was interrupted. But it turned out okay. We watched planes and talked on the stoop. And the world wasn’t knocked off its orbit one bit. We did the best we could.

PARENTING WIN #4:
BOUNCING BACK

Picture this: Photo shoot at Rene’s house. Things started out really well, until my kid took a tumble. Down the stairs. While I was schmoozing. As awful as if sounds (and sounded), Joelle bounced back quickly. Nothing was broken (thank GOD!), she had a great time, and according to Cole, became a folk hero in the process.

PARENTING WIN #5
GETTIN’ IT DONE

This is my workday. Being a serial multi-tasker, I am Skyping with Rene, have two email clients open, am checking out Pinterest, editing my debate, doing some research, and reviewing an advertiser pitch. I do a lot between 9-and-5, but here I am on night two of writing this piece and at 10:30, guess who’s still up?

Joelle’s life is not like most babies and I am by no means, a perfect parent. But the parenting victory I think I am most proud of is the fact that I am raising a resilient little girl. That, in my mind, is more important than keeping a rigid sleep schedule.

So what parenting victories are you celebrating? What about guilt; what do you think you need to do better? Share, and don’t worry. Someone out there understands.

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Ella Rucker is a mother of a two-year-old girl and the guardian of two boys. She is currently working on dispelling the myth that being a “stay at home mom” has anything to do with staying at home. Ella moved from Ohio to New York City twelve years ago where she is currently assisting the head GEM and proving that sticking your neck out just might help you win the race. She loves to read about the “mental laws” and seeing them work in her life, but her greatest joy is laughing madly and wildly with her daughter who amazes her everyday. You can also find her writing for mochamanual.com or by following her tweets @ellalaverne.