The GEM Debate: Domestic Violence... Forgive And Forget?

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The GEM Debate: Domestic Violence… Forgive And Forget?

By Ella Rucker / February 22, 2012 / 9 Comments

By Ella Rucker

Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their “love” is messy and complicated and, sadly, this post might be, too. In the end it really just comes down to it’s their business, but this is the beginning of this debate. We’ll get to the end in a minute.

You may remember that singer Chris Brown had a relationship with R&B darling Rihanna which ended so badly that Chris Brown ended up with probation and community service for beating her. Rihanna also got a restraining order against Brown and the two basically went their separate ways.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Well, after all that mess, it would seem their relationship is on the mend. Recently, Rihanna and Brown have begun working together, dropping two new tracks. Okay, I understand that, money is money, and the public eats this stuff up, and you don’t necessarily have to be in the same studio to collaborate. But you add in their Twitter communication with Rihanna tweeting,

“They can say whatever, Ima do whatever… No pain is forever <—–YUP! YOU KNOW THIS,”

and Brown adding,

“Let them be mad!!!! We make music. Don’t like it, don’t listen!” Now you’ve got to wonder.

Of course, their second attempt at a love connection could just be media hype, but let’s say, for the sake of argument, it’s not. Let’s say these two are really on the road to starting a new relationship. Is that really such a bad thing? During the breakup Rihanna basically became the de facto poster child for domestic abuse, but no matter how FOR Brown she is she can still be AGAINST domestic violence. Parents banned their children from buying Brown’s music, but he didn’t seem to lose too many steps. He is still making award winning music, appears to be one of the “go to” entertainers for television award shows and has a solid fan base. Some of the collective “we” have forgiven him. Why can’t we expect Rihanna to do the same? Isn’t that one of the fundamentals of what we teach our children? Isn’t that what the judicial system by way of his probation and community service is supposed to produce: a forgivable, reformed contributor to society?

So why all the buzz? Well, we all know forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting is another altogether. We haven’t forgotten yet. We can listen to his music, but what do you think when you hear it? Those awful pictures of Rihanna’s battered face that had been leaked online. We worry for Rihanna because we felt so much pain for her when this played out the first time. And with those Brown’s online outbursts (and those exclamation points in his tweet!) we haven’t really seen him calm down much, have we? That’s the problem. We need to see change, we need to see remorse, we need to see a different Chris Brown.

Then again we aren’t the ones who may be dating him, are we?

So what do you think? Can two people move forward after domestic violence? Have you ever had to forgive someone after such an act? Do you think maybe Chris and Rihanna would have moved forward faster if there weren’t the eyes of millions watching them? Let’s hear ya!