Kid’s Questions: I’m Feeling Suicidal

Teen_depressed

Dear Rene:

I go through a lot at home. With friends, life’s great, but when I come home I have to deal with the most annoying little sister ever, who does everything she can to get me in trouble and a drunk, illiterate, abusive, prescription pill-popping mother.

When I was younger I used to ask my mom for help with my math homework and if I got it wrong she’d beat me until I got it right (and it took a long time). Since I was eight years old, my mom rarely laughs, but mostly argues instead. I’m, 14 now and nothing’s changed, except now we NEVER have laughs and it’s constant arguments or beatings.

I can never do anything to please my mom. If I sweep in the wrong direction, I get a beating. If I write a list for her the wrong way, I get hit; there’s a lot more that I can’t even list.

I don’t expect you to mend the relationship I have with my mother because I want nothing to do with her but I’ve been having thoughts of suicide in the 7th grade; my best-guy-friend helped me stop having those until recently and I am currently talking to him now about this while writing to you. I actually tried when I was 9 and then again at 12. I also cut myself but stopped recently, again thanks to my guy-friend

It’s frustrating because to the world I look like I’m a happy-go-lucky girl who loves to laugh and smile but in the inside I am a stressed-out, maybe even depressed, I’m not sure. I’ve never cried in front of anyone except my best guy friend and even that’s rare. I’m trying to stay strong but I am getting tired.

Rene can you help me?

Signed Unhappy Teen

 

Dear Unhappy,

It’s REALLY important that you listen to what I’m about to say. As much as I love giving advice, the topics I write about are often far less serious than what you have written in with. So I’m gonna give you a few words as encouragement; but you MUST promise me you will get someone in person who can help you!

YOU ARE WORTHY: Repeat this to yourself, aloud and right now! Now say it again. You.Are.Worthy! You deserve to be here. Period! One of the most heartbreaking things about your letter is the poor treatment you have to endure at the hands of someone who is supposed to love you. Life is hard; as mothers we know that. But as mothers we have also accumulated a wealth of experience with which to deal with life. You don’t have that yet so it’s up to us as parents to guide and protect you until you get there. Unfortunately it sounds like you’re not getting that from your mother as she battles her own demons (alcoholism, drug use). The problem is she’s not doing it in a vacuum and her disease is clouding her ability to make good judgment/decisions with regard to parenting.

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE: Your guy friend is a good start but he can’t help get you out of a dangerous, deteriorating situation, which is what this sounds like. Is there a counselor at school you can confide in? If things are as you say at home (your mother’s drug/alcohol use) there may be signs that someone at the school has already seen. At the very least, it’s an adult who might be able to point you in another, safer direction. You don’t mention relatives; is there someone nearby who you can talk to? What about a family friend? The point I’m trying to make here is, that you cannot, nor should you, have to go it alone. You need to be in a place where you are safe.

RESEARCH OTHER ORGANIZATIONS: To be honest, I’m not really sure what those organizations might be and I’ll open this to my audience who might be able to better help you. But off the top of my head, I would suggest looking into suicide prevention hotline and/or mental health services or talk to your own doctor if you can. You need to find out if you’re depressed and get help for that.

To deal with your mom’s drinking/drug use, go online and see if you can’t find a local chapter of Al-Anon, a support group for families who are dealing with an alcoholic member. They even have a special part of the organization that deals with teens.

As far as your little sister, I’m sorry she pushes your buttons the way she does. But truthfully, that’s what sisters and brothers do. It might just be harder to take for you given all of the other stuff swirling around in your environment. Focus less on her, more on yourself and you’ll probably see she bothers you a whole lot less.

I’ve quoted this before and I’ll use it again here. Once, years ago, I heard someone say, “You can’t steer a still ship.” That’s stuck with me ever since because the message is you have to start somewhere. You need to just start moving, go in a direction. It may not be the right one but it could lead you to the place you need to be and it’s better than being paralyzed by fear.

Don’t give up hope and I’ll end the way I started. You.Are.Worthy!

Good luck honey!

And now I’ll throw your question out to our GEM readers for their advice / insight. We’re all here to help you!

Do you have a question for a mom, but don’t want to ask YOUR mom? Click here and fire away.

Rene Syler is a wife, mother, breast cancer advocate and television personality whose burning desire to tell the truth about modern motherhood led her to create GoodEnoughMother.com . When not spending time with her family or burning something for dinner, Rene travels the country as host of Sweet Retreats on The Live Well Network and Exhale on Aspire.

45 Comments

  1. Cathy

    July 24, 2011 at 9:15 am

    I grew up with an substance-abusing parent. Nothing I could ever do was right. I would get hit for nothing, was constantly insulted, put down, and never got any help with school work.

    But I want to tell you something that you may not know right now: it gets better.

    There’s nothing your mom can do to you right now that can steal your potential for making a huge difference in this world, nothing she can do that transforms who God made you to be. And you sound remarkable, just in how you look at the world and how you write about your circumstances. These issues your mom has impact you, but they are hers. As hard as it may be, and I know it is, don’t own anything she says or does. It’s the drug talking, not your mom. That substance, which is tearing her up inside out, cannot change the remarkable journey all laid out for your life. There’s hope and there’s purpose for you. Don’t give up on yourself.

    My dad eventually stopped the substance abuse. He became a new person altogether, and is now one of my best friends on the planet, after being the terror of my life. If you’re not here, you can’t see what lies ahead.

    Your friend sounds great, like a lifesaver, and you are truly blessed to have him in your life. Along with him, I hope you’ll listen to Rene’s advice and get some additional help. I’m thinking that perhaps you could check out Ala-Teen — trust me, there’s something that happens in your soul when you hear stories that are exactly like yours. You are not alone.

  2. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 9:18 am

    @Cathy: Thank you! God bless!!

  3. Sandy Seale

    July 24, 2011 at 9:48 am

    I remember one quote that has helped me with all types of challenges in life. “You can’t always control what happens to you in life or what others say or do to you. HOWEVER, you can always control how you react to them.” Oprah said this on one of her shows years ago & it always pops into my mind when either friends or myself are having a “situation” with life or another person in their life. Its so true. We have absolutely no control over what others might do or say. Life throws us all kinds of curves & challenges. We can either chose to become stressed, frenzied, or totally overcome by them OR we can decide to trust ourselves & draw on our inner strength & not let these people or situations get the best of us. If someone else in our life doesn’t know how to be a good, decent person thats on them. And stuff happens to all of us. Often its difficult to handle things that want to pull us under. But we all have the ability to rise above it & do the very best we can to overcome. We owe it to those around us, to the world we live in; but most of all to ourselves. When we are in our darkest hour, that is when we need to dig the deepest into ourselves. Nothing lasts forever. Tomorrow is always another opportunity to do better. Rise above those who allow life to turn them into bitter, sour people. Its a beautiful life, a beautiful world….but only if you are willing to work at it. Trust your abilities & have a wonderful life. Remember, the glass is either half empty, or half full. Its all in how you chose to look at it. Personally, I think my life is much easier when I chose half full :)

  4. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Man, that sucks. But you still got it pretty good. Because you live in America. If you had to grow up in India, for instance, you wouldn’t even have reliable plumbing. Or shelter, in some cases. I think that rather than criticizing your mother and screaming out for sympathy, perhaps you should suck it up and draw strength from your adversity. It builds character.

  5. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 10:59 am

    @Doug: Wow, thanks. To be honest, it sounds like she IS sucking it up. God help anyone in your life who might be in need.

  6. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 11:14 am

    The best help I ever got was learning how to help myself. God bless.

  7. juli

    July 24, 2011 at 11:14 am

    I think Doug is a troll, But I’ll take the bait and point out that I live in a very rural area and in many homes here people live off the grid (no electricity) As a matter of fact the girl who works for me has never lived in a home you could just flip a switch for lights. Dirt floors, fill up tanks for water…etc etc… but man do I love to hang out at their house. Their mom is so funny and nurturing, she makes the best canned foods, and the house is full of love.
    I would never recommend a kid going into the system, but that poor little girl needs some intervention on her behalf. Great advice Rene. She needs to seek out people she can trust for some help. Because having a piece of shit mom can be crushing. Sandy also has great advice too. Though at 14 that’s hard to undertake. Good luck for her. If she makes it through this, she will be a strong young lady.

  8. Cathy

    July 24, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Maybe he is a substance abuser who takes his issues out on his kids. Pay him no mind.

  9. Cathy

    July 24, 2011 at 11:17 am

    @Juli: She will make it through this.

  10. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 11:20 am

    It hurts my feelings that I am being called names by others who may not agree with my point of view.
    Thank you for letting me speak, but I am choosing to take my opinions to a more tolerant forum, where I will not be subjected to name calling. I am not a troll. I am a human being.

  11. Dave

    July 24, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Please don’t engage the seemingly well-meaning moron.

  12. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 11:21 am

    @Doug: That’s what this girl is doing. She reached out looking for some advice on how to help herself. Thanks for your stellar insight, as usual

  13. juli

    July 24, 2011 at 11:23 am

    My bad Doug…You are a human being who behaves like a troll with little empathy for a child who is being beaten their parent. Suck it up and get over your feelings you obviously reserve just for yourself.

  14. Jinni

    July 24, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Doug,
    I have no doubt that children in India are abused as well. I also have no doubt that the child who wrote this letter to Rene would happily give up some of her “privileges” to have a loving, caring mother.

    Yes, we are lucky to live in the US, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t expect to be safe in our own homes, or that we have to put up with abusive treatment from those around us. The fact that you feel the need to minimize this child’s feelings speaks volumes about you and makes me wonder how you treat your own friends and family.

    I hope the writer of this letter reaches out to someone near her for help. She has the right to pursue happiness. She does not have to live in fear and despair.

    Good luck!

    Jinni

  15. juli

    July 24, 2011 at 11:28 am

    You are right Dave. I shouldn’t engage, but I’m sort of a hard ass that way when it somes to children.. and I agree Cathy…just the fact she has the strength to ask for help says her will is strong.

  16. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Now I’ve been called a moron. Wow. This is certainly an open-minded forum. Name-calling and backhanded insults are quite impressive. And classy. :)
    Look, I’ll just go… There is no room for differing opinions here. I wish you all the best, and have a great Sunday – the weather might cooperate a little bit here today! God bless.

  17. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 11:31 am

    @Doug: That is rich. I guess in your world, she shouldn’t have to fear every time her mom raises her had because she has indoor plumbing. Let me be the first to invite you to take your opinions to a “more tolerant” forum. I guess that would be the one where they tolerate differences of opinion but totally lack compassion. Sounds like a great time.

  18. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 11:35 am

    K.

  19. Janie

    July 24, 2011 at 11:43 am

    Cathy and Rene – excellent comments/advice for “Unhappy.”
    Doug – very cold. Are you serious with that comment? Sensitivity is not your thing obviously. Tell a 14 year old contemplating suicide to “suck it up” – cold doesn’t even begin to describe it!
    Like Cathy, I can relate to living with a substance abusing parent – my dad was an alcoholic and could be physically and verbally abusive – at times my mom could be too even though some of the time she was the target of his abuse. It is traumatizing to live in a household like that. I know what it is like to feel that you can never do anything right or good enough, to walk on eggshells and constantly worry about the next eruption of verbal and physical abuse.
    It is good that you wrote in to ask Rene and seek advice but in this case it is not enough. You need to find someone to help you face to face. Call a suicide prevention hotline – immediately – maybe they can direct you to other help locally.
    Listen to Rene, YOU ARE WORTHY!!! Take Rene’s advice and seek help now, please!

  20. ORIGINALADREAM

    July 24, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Doug, Peace be with you. It is unfortunate but many cannot see past the last house on their block. You have made a valid point, Americans do not understand how FORTUNATE the American child is. American children may endure abuses and hardships but they have RIGHTS unlike children in other parts of the world. Doug remember, your perspective is unique because you can attest to it. Do not be upset with other’s ignorance of yours or others’ cultures. Understand, most people have not knowledge or experience past the last house on their block. Bless you, my brother.

  21. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    @Originaladream I think there’s cause for compassion both situations. It was lacking in Doug’s response which was why it struck a nerve. Thanks

  22. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Rene, how do you feel about name-calling? That doesn’t seem to bother you. Should I teach my children to call anyone who doesn’t share the same opinion “trolls” or “morons”? Really, I’m just wondering because you never address this rude, childish behavior on your site. It almost seems like you welcome it. Personally, I think it is hurtful and offensive.

  23. ORIGINALADREAM

    July 24, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    To the child seeking help: If I understand you, you say that you are stuck in a home without resources and your sister and mother are slowly stripping you of your self-worth, self-confidence, and sanity. I don’t know if my story is relatable but when I was younger, unable to go live with others because they didn’t want to be responsible for me, my younger sister did as yours do. My mom didn’t have addiction issues but she was and is very verbally abusive. Fortunate for me, her friend, referred me to a psychiatrist. I told the man of my ordeal, because at the time I was feeling delusional (my mom and sister attacked me and my mind wouldn’t allow me to accept it so I didn’t know if I had dreamed it or if it were real), and he said to me, “Hmmm, you must really be something. You sit before me and I wouldn’t have suspected that you have endured this but what this tells me is that your mom and sister are jealous of you and they are trying to break you down.” He continued and said, “You are a fighter, and they see that and they know that and together they are trying to break your spirit. I don’t think you will let them, though. You are strong.” Little sister, you say that people wouldn’t know that you are going through as much as you are because it doesn’t show. You said yourself, you are strong and getting weak but do not get weak. Your experience will help the next person. When I was able to, I left my parent’s home and have never returned. My mom and sister are still the same but what is worse is that my mom is very unhappy and she doesn’t know why. To that I say: The universe has a way with dealing with people like my mom and sister. What goes around comes around and if a person has the audacity to inflict physical or mental harm on someone, they should be prepared because the universe will bring dread upon them tenfold. Right now if you cannot escape your home you may want to spend as few hours there as possible. The only hours spent there should be sleeping hours. You need help with math; seek help from a tutor at school. Join a school club, volunteer at a senior center or a women and children’s’ shelter or volunteer to help at the YMCA. Like you say, you are strong and I believe this, so wipe your eyes for the next battle is near. Your enemies shall not bring you down. You are greater than they could ever hope to be, and they know this. Stand tall and PEACE is with you, little sister. BLESS

  24. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Originaladream, you are wise. You seem very calm, tolerant and open-minded, and those are good characteristics to have. Good on ya!

  25. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    @Doug you’re back? You eschewed the “more tolerant” forum to hang with compassionate knuckle-draggers around here? Okay since you asked I’ll address it. By the way this is the LAST time I will address this because now the thread is being hijacked. I let people say what they want, even when it’s shocking, cold, uncaring and I don’t necessarily agree with. Like your statement. But this is what you believe so I let you say it. Now, you have no idea what “seems to bother me” because you haven’t cared to find out. I’m not a fan of name calling; if you read, I mean really read the site, you would know that. I’m also not a fan of intolerance and whether you want to believe, that is you. The idea that you would tell someone who was really hurting to “suck it up” because you did is just appalling. She clearly doesn’t have support at home or the years of life experience you have. Sorry but I don’t believe for a minute that someone like you, who “sucked it up” and is comfortable throwing out barbs like that is “hurt and offended” . Doug, believe what you want but don’t EVER speak for me and what I believe/welcome because you have no idea.

  26. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    @originaladream: thank you for sharing your story and that’s excellent advice. Thx again

  27. Doug

    July 24, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Ok then.

  28. ORIGINALADREAM

    July 24, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    You’re welcome, Rene, and thank you for sharing the little sister’s story. Let us all pray for the reversal of human vices in her life. Bless.

  29. ORIGINALADREAM

    July 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Thank you, Doug. Peace be with you.

  30. Auntie Lisa

    July 24, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Unhappy Teen: God created you and He loves you. You may not *feel* His presence, but He can and will get you through this.

    I think the most complete help will come from a Christian counselor at a good, Bible-teaching church. Find a large church in your area and call them. Tell them what you told Rene, and ask if you can meet with a counseling pastor and his wife. Definitely agree with Rene that you need to be face-to-face with someone who can help you talk through this. It is a heavy load to carry, and you need God.

    You should get your spiritual needs met thru Christian counseling, and most large churches can refer you to organizations that will help you with other needs you may have.

    I am praying for you. Please don’t give up!

  31. Janie

    July 24, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    This young lady is contemplating suicide because of abuse and being advised to “suck it up.”
    Doug is called a troll and cannot handle being called names – maybe Doug should “suck it up” and not whine like a child crying to mommy because someone called him a name. He thinks that a 14 year old child should be able to just get over abuse and deal with it meanwhile he (supposedly an adult) cannot handle being called a troll.
    I think this young lady could teach Doug a few things about dealing with real difficulty.

  32. m.e. johnson

    July 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    1) Dear Young Miss: If your friend would tell his parents or a school nurse, teacher, cop. Etc., they would report it and it wouldn’t be you who ‘told’. But you can do that too.

    2) All you people gave wonderful advice but you use TOO MANY words. Whether she is smart, a reader, whatever, she is most likely to absorb messages that are short and jump out at her. I worked a lot with youth and short banging words they get. Can you say Jesse Jackson? (Well…)

    3) Doug came off cold and abrupt but I understand, I think. You hear it all the time in tv ads; “If I can do it, anybody can.” I had to tough it out a bit myself at just about her age. I’ve had to remind myself that not everyone is as gritty and stubborn as I am, not everyone knows what to do with bootstraps, not everyone has bootstraps. Doug, tough love works sometimes, too-tough hardly ever works. If it worked for you, consider yourself a rare bird.

    Young Lady, I wish you the best of all worlds. READ EVERYTHING ALL THE PEOPLE WROTE.

  33. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    @m.e: Thanks :) Sound advice as usual!

  34. Auntie Lisa

    July 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    I think my comment got deleted… :-( And I was nice…

  35. Rene Syler

    July 24, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @Auntie Lisa, sorry don’t know how that happened except that I am cleaning up comments and I may have accidentally deleted it. Yes, we tolerate most all comments here as you can see. The only thingI would add about your comment and Christian counselor is for Unhappy to make sure that the counselor was properly trained. I cannot tell you the numbers of people I have spoken with who went to the church first and were NOT advised in the way that was best (safest) for them because the counselor thought it best not to break up the family. That is unacceptable. To keep someone in a dangerous situation is not something I think God would want. Thx

  36. Auntie Lisa

    July 24, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    Yes, thanks for adding that. :-) There’s probably a lot of caveats one could voice in choosing a counselor, but I didn’t know how to do it without it being a huge project and way too much to read. :-) Just because someone is a church counselor doesn’t mean you can take everything they say without questioning it. (Also, one reason for recommending a couple rather than a pastor alone.)

  37. Jennifer

    July 25, 2011 at 8:53 am

    I hope and pray that this young lady is able to find someone who can listen to her and either advise or steer her in the right direction. No person on this earth, adult or child should ever have to be subjected to this kind of treatment.

    Rene is correct in that she IS WORTHY. I hope she can see this post: You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy.

    Rene, is there any way for us to know if she’s ok and if she’s been able to get help? Can you advise when you know of anything? I really hope she is able to follow-up with you and then in turn, advise us that she’s ok.

  38. Will Jones

    July 25, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Hey Rene,

    I don’t know how much info you got with this question, but this girl needs as much real help as you can give. If you have an email address, or better yet street address, see if you can get in touch with her and find some reputable names and numbers in the area that she might call or that can call her. Your advice is great as usual, but anything extra that you could give might save this girl, and that what it’s all about. She sounds strong, but she’s still a kid and she needs a strong hand to hold onto.

    Doug. You don’t seem like a stupid guy, and I’m sure you didn’t mean to sound that stupid. I’m guessing you’re not a parent because a real parent wouldn’t say something that stupid to a child. This site is filled with real parents, good enough mothers and fathers, who are trying to be the best parents that we can be. We love or kids, and here, we try to help each other to raise our kids. So when kids come here looking for help, we feel like they ARE our kids. For you to tell one of our kids to “suck it up” is going to bring out the protective nature that we as parents feel for our kids. Either you were ignorant and just didn’t know better, or you were stupid and made a mistake. Either is fine; we’ve all been both. But understand that being cruel to children, giving poor advice to children, or saying or doing anything that might seem hurtful to a child on this site, even accidently, will probably be seen as an attack here, and it will probably be met with an attack. Just a word to the wise; use it as you wish.

  39. Rene Syler

    July 25, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Will, yes I have already emailed and reached out and Doug is, in fact a parent. THX Will, great points as usual.

  40. Will Jones

    July 25, 2011 at 9:54 am

    Rene,
    I figured you were already on it; just double checking.

    Is Doug a parent or does he just have children?

    The girl in your letter; her mother has kids too, but she sure could use a parent right now.

  41. Rene Syler

    July 25, 2011 at 10:00 am

    @Will: So true.. how every true

  42. Sandy Seale

    July 25, 2011 at 11:23 am

    I thought Doug was leaving….several times :) Obviously he likes arguement. I believe he has the right to free speech like the rest of us. But definitely lacks compassion & understanding. Like you said Rene, she is & has sbeen sucking it up (as Doug says). However, the thing that could help save her is having the forum to vent & receive caring input & validation that she’s ok & things will get better if she just hangs in there. She seems to be doing the best that she can under the circumstances. Thats why everyone’s is so upset with you Doug….lack of compassion & caring. You definitely have a right to your opinion…its America for God’s sake. But a little human caring can go a long way.

  43. Michael R Hicks

    July 25, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    First of all, I pray and hope that the young lady heeds this advice and that the prayers and good wishes from those that have read her story will encourage her to seek those that can help her and I hope those that can help her will be guided to seek her out. That said…

    It astounds me that a poster here has turned the discussion upon himself, and on top of that, frame this matter as if he was the attacked victim when he had the audacity to tell an abused teenager contemplating suicide to “suck it up.” It astounds me that when citizens called him on his untoward behavior, he turned the conversation to himself!

    What pathetic narcissism.

  44. Randa

    August 4, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Dear Unhappy Teen,

    As I read your post I see myself 20 years ago. I grew up in a household with alcoholic parents. My mom was addicted to prescription pills and my dad spent my high school years and beyond in prison for murder. I struggled with depression and eating disorders and cried myself to sleep most nights. I knew I wanted better for myself and I left home not long after high school. I moved about 300 miles away to start my own life. I joined a church (for the first time in my life) and put myself through college. Today I am married and am a Mom to two precious children. I am a Sunday School Teacher, a Girl Scout Leader and my husband and I are at every event with our kids to cheer them on. Some people say “well, you were just lucky” but if it were luck, my sister and brother would not be in the same boat of success with me. All three of us are Christians, and married with strong family relationships, two of us are college graduates, and most importantly, none of us followed in our parents footsteps to abuse drugs, alcohol or our families. You have to believe that you can do it. I know it is hard and I feel for you, but believe in God and believe that you are better than the environment you are in right now. I was so ashamed that I never reached out for help, but you can. I urge you to get help, find a support group and surround yourself with friends who believe in you and are there for you. Life is so worth living and I know it seems like suicide is an easy out, but I think about how many times it crossed my mind as a teenager and how I would have missed out on having the most wonderful husband and amazing kids ever. God has so much more planned for you and it would be such a tragedy for you to miss out on what the future can bring.

  45. JMB

    August 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    You are ABSOLUTELY worthy!! I wish i could pull all of the pain out of you and stomp on it!

    My daughter was self harming and suicidal 3 years ago. She was 11. When i look back at that time now, i can’t believe the changes she has gone through to come to the good place she is in now. for reasons i still don’t understand – she was cutting herself and very depressed. she was eventually hospitalized and then the journey to healing began. She (and we) have been involved in counseling since then. Now she is a happy freshman and wants to be a surgeon. Between therapy, and To Write Love On Her Arms she has found ways to express herself other than self harming. You can do it too.

    You’ve made the first step in writing to Rene. Take the next step and get help. Please. You are young, and I can tell very bright. there are wonderful counselors and programs out there. Check out To Write Love On Her Arms http://www.twloha.com/ It’s asite my daughter found and the story helped her to stop self harming. There is also a Find Help tab with great resources for you.

    I can also tell you that I had a verbally abusive mom. I honestly don’t think she meant the things she said. She waas just so unhappy herself. What I did ( this sounds goofy – I’ve actuallu never shared this before! ) I would pretend I had an invisible shield in front of me. then I did therapy – and that really helped!

    Just don’t give up. You are a precious young lady and have a purpose here on earth. you are stonger than you think. don’t let anyone else determine who you are.

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