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By now I’m sure you’ve heard all about New York State Representative Anthony Weiner and his rather unfortunately sexting escapades!
Weiner, he of the unfortunate last name, was caught sending photos of his, er, house member, to a number of different young women, none of whom was his newlywed wife, Huma Abedid. Oops!
But here’s where I find the story really interesting. Today Time magazine asked whether sexting technically qualifies as cheating? Which got to me thinking about how cheating seems to be defined differently by men and women.
Do photos of Weiner’s willie constitute infidelity? Apparently it boils down to whom you ask. The men in the Time magazine piece and in my own life, feel like, “Meh? What’s the big deal?” Women, on the other hand, are more likely to glomb on to the idea that Weiner has only been married a year or so and already seeking stimulation outside the marriage. But is that a bad thing?
Hang on, let me play devil’s advocate for a moment. Okay, I know that the fact that he took pictures of his crotch and sent them to women he didn’t know was tasteless and stupid. But is it any different than surfing the net for porn? OF COURSE IT IS! (Sorry that was my lame attempt to remain impartial). The difference boils down to interaction. There was genuine give and take with the women he was exchanging photos with. Weiner was giving a part of himself, the emotional side that should have been reserved for his wife. Surfing websites for porn would be different, provided he was using it as an impetus for action with his partner or self-stimulation. That was not the case here.
Once, years ago, I read a piece on cheating as defined by men and women. Whereas a woman saw intercourse as the ultimate betrayal, most men felt the line was crossed with a kiss, being that was a more tender and pure showing of affection.
So I wonder what standards you have in your own home…
If you caught your partner surfing the web for online porn or looking at a magazine would you be upset, offended, betrayed? What if they went for dinner with an old partner and shared intimacies – but still had no physical contact. Is a trip to a strip club out of bounds? Or just harmless fun…
So start sharing everyone… I’d love to hear your thoughts…