Come on adults, shouldn’t you know better by now? Adorable little Justin Bieber was at a New York Knicks game last night and when they took a shot of him on the Jumbotron the fans actually booed him! He wasn’t even performing and they booed this 16-year-old kid! What is up with that?
Now I don’t know who led the booing, I wasn’t there. But you figure if kids were leading the way, some adults also jumped on the boo bandwagon ‘cause I heard a lot of bass voices in there. Hello? What kind of behavior is that to model for your children? Seriously everyone – with all the craziness going on in our schools at the moment and the whole ‘It Gets Better’ campaign, what kind of example are we setting?
So I got to thinking, how do you explain stupid behavior by adults to kids and I came up with five possible explanations. I would sit the adorable Biebs down and say, “Listen honey, they did this because …”
OF YOUR HAIR: Three words, Male Pattern Baldness. While many of these men are follicly challenged you have honey-tainted tresses that sweep effortlessly across your porcelain, pimple-free skin. Even the most extreme comb-over can’t cover craggy skin, wrinkles and rosacea. You remind these guys that their high school crush kissed her poster of David Cassidy each night instead of them. And you, like David Cassidy, are preternaturally beautiful. They hate you for that.
YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN THEY DO: Oh dear, sweet Justin, think of jealousy as the pavement for the road I like to call Bitter Boulevard. You pull down more coin in a night than they do in a year, maybe even ten years. You have Usher as a mentor and even if you never record another hit record, if you keep your head on straight, you’ll do just fine. Offer to light their cigarettes with one of your hundred dollar bills.
DRUNK/GROUP BEHAVIOR: My little Justin people do things in groups that they are less prone to do as individuals. I’ll bet if one of them were standing next to you at the fine facilities at MSG, they’d stop concentrating on what they were doing and be so thrilled to meet you. You know why? Because they know there’s a trophy with “DAD OF THE YEAR” scrawled across it if he brought that autograph home to his daughter. But in a group, well it’s different. In ‘group think’ people are afraid to stand up for what is right for fear of being ostracized. That’s why you see a lot of group bullying. It takes balls to stand against the crowd; clearly the only ones present at MSG were the once being bounced on the hardwood.
YOU NEVER GET OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL: Justin honey, if you take nothing else from your dear, sweet Good Enough Mother, remember this; no matter where you go, how much you achieve, the kind of car you drive, even if you become President of the United States, you will never get out of high school. Now I don’t mean that literally but the fact is the behaviors you see among your classmates now, they will follow you and them into adulthood.
When you go back to school for your 30-year class reunion the snotty princess types will be the ones in fur, with perfectly coiffed hair and a new manicure every week. The jocks will be bald with beer guts but still bragging about how they can bench press their own weight. Make them show you. The nerds? They’ll still be nerdy but they’ll be wearing designer glasses and have a hot chick on their arm because they sold some patent and now have more money than most third world countries. The stoners? Don’t look for them; they won’t be there. The point is, for the most part, the die is cast once you reach high school. The exterior may change a little but the insecure interior will remain the same.
REMEMBER RICK NELSON: Sweetheart, if the name doesn’t ring a bell, look him up on Wikipedia. Nelson wrote a song called Garden Party about the time that he performed at Madison Square Garden and got booed off the stage. There’s a line in that song that was as germane in 1972 as it is today. He sang “you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.” Justin, run your own race, chase your dreams with abandon and live your own life without regard for what others may say. If you change to please one person, you will piss someone else off. Then you change for them and piss more people off. Pretty soon you’re changing so much you don’t remember what the original looked like and you’re miserable. Be yourself, if that makes people mad, that’s their problem, not yours.
So that would be my speech. I would wrap it up by drawing the young Bieber to my bosom and tell him to learn these lessons now. I wished I had at that age.
What about you, what would you tell a kid about adults behaving badly? And would you join me for a Justin Bieber hug?