Good Enough Mother is awarding the first ever “WAY TO GO, MOM” award to a blogger who goes by the name, ‘Cop’s Wife’.
You may have read about this story yesterday – it sure flew round the web fast – but basically the writer’s baby boy wanted to go to his pre-school’s (yes, he is 5 years old) Halloween celebration dressed as Daphne from Scooby-Doo. Did I mention he’s five? Did I also mention it was Halloween? Oh good. So we are clear on the facts. Here’s the rest of the story in great detail.
Her boy, obviously wise beyond his years, anticipated he might be teased but his mother, and rightly so, thought who on earth would tease a child about his costume choice? Apparently a couple of hausfraus whose kids go to school with Cop’s Wife, that’s who. Really? These moms were judgmental, sneering and highly critical of the Daphne outfit – one even said she would have ‘forbidden’ it… Seriously? And we wonder why bullying in schools is such a problem – guess where the kids get it from…
Personally I love this mom’s attitude. In fact, her original post was entitled “My son is gay” and then in the first line of the piece she said “…or maybe he’s not.” She goes on to make it perfectly clear that gay or not, he is her son. This is EXACTLY the point I was trying to make in a very popular Ask Rene (Is My Son Gay) we ran a few months ago. You gave birth to the boy; you love him today as much as you will tomorrow. You want him to be happy. If he’s gay, so what? What if he’s straight? Are we gonna get all twisted about that? As if…
When Cole was five, he wanted to paint his fingernails. You know what? I let him. He was five! All he was doing was emulating what he saw the person he loved most in the word do. Big damn deal. Buff did get a bit freaked by it but I put the kibosh on that and quick. Now I’m lucky if I can get Cole to cut his serial-killer-esque claws.
From Good Enough Mother’s perspective, the trick to this whole parenting thing is a little of the ol’ “go-with-the-flow.” Raising these kids is not an exact science and no book I have ever read has prepared me for the variety of experiences I have come upon while ushering Casey and Cole into adulthood. But you know what has never steered me wrong? My instincts. I think if we did that more, and parented less according to what “people say” (you know, the nameless, faceless ones who are always right) we’d be raising kids who are, for the most part, well adjusted and ready to take on the complex challenges in the world.
I have to commend Cop’s wife for her self-control. Personally I would have used my hot glue gun to make sure those women’s lips were as closed as their minds. And I agree. Her son sure does rock that wig!
But what do you think? Do you agree with Cop’s Wife – or should she have been more sensitive to the climate of the school? And have you ever found yourself scolding – or applauding – your kids when they crossed ‘traditional’ gender lines?