Good Enough Mother has some fantastic, enlightened friends and honestly cannot imagine that any of them has a racist bone in their body. But what if, lets say, we were out somewhere, the wine was flowing, the talk was loose and an N bomb just slipped out? Would I, could I, still be their friend?
That’s what I wondered today as I read that actress Jodie Foster, in an interview with MORE magazine, said she is standing by Mel Gibson in the wake of accusations (and audio tape) of domestic abuse. Foster, who met Gibson back in 1994 while working on “Maverick” described the 54-year old Gibson as “the easiest, nicest person I have ever worked with.” That may be true of her experience with the actor but easy and nice are not two words that come to mind when you listen to the audiotape of Gibson screaming obscenities and threats at his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.
I wonder if Jodie heard that tape, I mean really listened to the words he was spitting out at his ex and the venom with which he said them. Doesn’t she wonder how the man who is so “easy and nice” to her harbors such poison and hate for the mother of his child? I know I do. I don’t doubt for a minute that Jodie has a good relationship with Gibson. But when faced with the evidence, wouldn’t that make you question what or who your friend really was? It’s admirable that Jodie Foster is there for Gibson but how does she reconcile those two drastically different sides of the same man?
Personally I think if you give people enough time they will ultimately show you who they really are. Which brings me back to my example up top. If someone I called a friend dropped an N bomb or told a racist joke (hey, it was a JOKE!) in my presence that would be pretty much all I would need to excise him or her from my life. If they would talk like that in front of me, what on earth are they saying behind my back? Because I am certain if they can make their lips form around those ugly words, then you know damn well they live somewhere in their heart.
But what about you? How far would you go to defend a friend? Have any of your close friends crossed the line? Start sharing your stories…